Post # 1
I am feeling pretty bummy on this snowy Sunday evening and was wondering if anyone else could commiserate with me? Is there anyone else that absolutely HATES where they live? My hometown is about an hour away, where my parents and most of my friends are (as well as where my wedding is being held). Fiance and I met at college half way in the middle and both loved that town as well. We moved to this town when both Fiance and I got jobs here and I dug in my heels like crazy but finally caved.
And I hate it. We’ve been here a year and a half and I still know no one. I’ve joined a yoga studio, have a dog I walk and work 5 minutes away but have not met a single soul who has become a friend. I am not antisocial and generally make friends easily, but it’s harder than I thought once you’re out of school. It’s a suburb of Toronto with no character and way too many strip malls and I am just not a big city girl.
I was so hoping after the wedding we would buy a starter home in my hometown, put down some roots and start a family in a few years once settled. Fiance seemed on board, but it’s looking like he will be getting a promotion with work. He moved jobs about a year ago and the 1.5 hour commute would be way too much. So while I am soo happy for him to be hopefully getting this promotion, it also means we will be stuck here for at least 2 more years and I am SOOO bummed about that. I don’t want to be THAT girl and not support my Fiance and I hate that part of me doesn’t want him to get the promotion (I cant believe I just admitted that 🙁 ) but two more years, renting this overpriced apartment with no friends is enough to make a girl crazy.
Time to go hug my dog. Thanks bees for letting me vent!
Post # 3
vent away, girl!
i don’t HATE where i live, but it’s definitely not a perfect place. ^^
Kinda funny how when people find out I live in Florida, they wonder how I could ever not LOVE it, but the truth is, here in Orlando, it is very transient and touristy. IMO it lacks the neighborly feel of some places I have lived before – plus, the city is very spread out and you have to drive everywhere to get anywhere and public transit is lacking – of course, it’s getting better, but it will be a while.
And though it’s nice to have a not so frigid winter, the summer – ugh – I don’t even want to think about it, heh!!
Post # 4
I feel your pain! We moved two years ago and we HATE it.We moved to Indiana to be closer to my brother, SIL, and niece because they were here by themselves. But, we just don’t feel like it was worth it. Not that I regret seeing my niece grow up, or being able to spend time with my brother and SIL, it’s just we don’t get to see them very often. We maybe get to see them once, maybe twice a month. It just doesn’t feel like it was worth turning our lives completely upside down for these monthly visits. I miss my mom and friends so much I cry some nights. I live 15 hours away from my best friend, and she hasn’t been able to visit me here. I went from seeing her several times a week to seeing her 2-3 times a year. I know my Fiance is miserable, he hasn’t been able to really make any friends, (not that he’s unfriendly, its just he works with men almost twice his age). Also, we moved to a small town. Everyone has known everyone since elementary school. It is so hard to fit in.
So.. I guess instead of venting also, I just meant to say, I can totally empathize with you.
Post # 5
I’ll join, I hate where I live! SF sucks; it’s dirty, poorly run, and expensive. The schools here are terrible, the neighborhoods unsafe; I would never want to raise kids here. My fiance hates it even more than I do. We’re moving to Portland, OR 2 months after we get married, and I cannot wait!
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
I don’t love where I live, but I don’t love where my family lives either. The thought of a Chicago winter really turns me off, as much as I’d like to be near my family.
We like to think of places in the south we’d move, but we have no real connection to any of those places. While my fiance does have his immediate family here, he doesn’t have the relationship with them that I have with my family.
I’ve also noticed that because we treat living here as temporary, we haven’t made big strides to meet more people. I’m sure if we put ourselves out there more, we might start to like DC a bit more.
Post # 7
Well.. I wanted to move here so bad so I can’t complain. But my plan was always to live in NYC for 3 or 4 years then move to CA. I wanted to live in a lot of cool places before getting old and definitely on the beach. Of course, I started dating Fiance and my plan was thrown out the window. It’s hard to move now b/c our lives are so ingrained in this city, we would be giving so much up.
But to your point, I understand how hard it is to make friends in a new city after college. People aren’t as inclined to try to talk to you and hang out, everyone has thier own lives and agenda. But I can tell you it happens. Slowly, but it does. You start to have things in common with coworkers who introduce you to their friends and slowly your network grows. Two out of 5 of my BM’s are ex-coworkers.
Just take it one day at a time and keep doing things that interest you. It will get better, I promise!
Post # 8
There are days when I think I hate it here. I get sooooooo tired of the hills of Pennsylvania after living here all my life, and the winter months are incredibly dreary. Spring rolls around and I feel better, but right around now? Yeah. Not lovin’ it.
Post # 9
We want to move somewhere warm year round but I am so afraid I’ll hate it as much as youi guys hate your new towns. I usually make friends easily also, but I think that’s because I’ve been in school forever.
On that note though maybe you could sign up for a fun class at the local college (assuming there is one where you live). It would be a great way 2 make some new friends!
Post # 10
@ ribbons, i think that’s totally it. i don’t put myself out there because i think subconsiously i don’t really WANT to meet people, because i don’t want to stay here. i know i am partially at fault. i ride horses and that was always my outlet, but i leased my horse to help pay for the wedding so now it’s just me and my pup oftentimes since my Fiance works pretty long hours. there’s only so much you can do when it gets dark at 5pm and its -10 degrees, lol!
So funny that two of you hate where you live and live in FL! I daydream about moving to Florida, i spent 3 winters in West Palm area and my heart is definitely there. My best friend/MOH also lives there too and I get to see her once a year if I’m lucky! The realistic side of me knows it would be impossible for both of us to find jobs in that area so my hometown is my backup happy place despite the winters.
As sad as I am for all the bees who don’t like where they live, I am happy to know i am not alone!
Post # 11
I’ve hated my hometown my entire life. I find it extremely depressing (kind of sounds like the suburb of Toronto with endless strip malls…I swear, every time I go home a new area has been deforested and replaced with a strip mall that includes a generic nail shop, a bank, a generic Chinese-American restaurant, and a Dunkin’ Donuts. I cannot tell you how many malls we have with these precise contents, it’s unreal). When I moved away to college, I was happier by far than I had ever been in my entire life (though this might have something to do with the fact that I met Fiance almost immediately). I basically NEED to live in a city. I feel most alive in NYC. I don’t really know what it is.
Post # 12
Yeah, I think part of it has to do with the thinking of “the grass is always greener on the other side” kind of thing – I used to live in WA state for college and I grew up in near Tokyo, Japan, so yeah…big differences!
Post # 13
Too true, krissycake. We should do Weddingbee house swaps. Free accomodation, good way to get out the “grass is always greener” feeling, and a cool way to see different parts of the world! It would either make you appreciate where you live more, or hate it even more, ha!
Post # 14
lol good thoughts, noopnoop!
Post # 15
So happy to hear that I am not the only one who hates where they live. Fiance and I moved to VA last year after I got a teaching job here. It was a quick move, I moved 2 weeks after getting the position from Upstate NY. But since we’ve moved here it’s been horrible. Everyone we have met is 20 – 30 years older than us. The only co-worker of mine who is my age lives about 40 minutes from where we do and has a 7 month old, so she doesn’t do much. We go to a church, but again there isn’t anyone who is our age. I am just so frustrated that no one is friendly, you always hear about Southern hospitality, and we just haven’t found any. When we lived in Albany, we always had people over and were always entertaining. There was always something to do. Now, it seems like all I do is sit in front of either the idiot box (tv) or my computer. My Fiance hasn’t really met anyone at work. All I can hope now is that I can find a job near DC because we have many friends who live there, including our godson and soon to be born god-daughter.
Just a rant – but we just got 10 inches of snow, and coming from living in the snow country all my life, I can’t get over the fact that EVERYTHING is shut down since yesterday until at least Tuesday. It just boggles my mind. I just want to move back home for so many reasons. One of the major reasons is my Aunt who I am very close to just got diagosed with Stage 4 cancer and I know that I will not be able to see her until Easter when my Fiance and I go back to the Northeast to do wedding stuff.
Sorry, I just have a ton of emotions going through me right now. Thanks for listening!!
Post # 16
It’s not that I dont love Adelaide and South Australia, all our friends are here close by. I am just bored and restless I want to pack up and move somewhere different. However Fi’s carreer is going amazing and I have almost finished my Masters. Once we are married and I have established my career. maybe we can move. I want to move somewhere with heaps of water and lush vegetation so I can have a nice garden, either the tropics like Cairns or Darwin or somewhere like Tasmania or the Mountain countrty n Victoria. living in he driest state in the driest continent is starting to frustrate me.