(Closed) Anybody else sometimes feel like their wedding isn’t good enough for in laws?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

I’ve actually had the opposite… My in-laws are hinting that our wedding is going to be too extravagant and that we’re spending too much money. Our wedding is going to be a small 25-ish person affair. They’re very low key people and expected us to have a super small wedding like my Future Sister-In-Law who only had my Fiance, my Future Mother-In-Law, Future Father-In-Law and other Future Sister-In-Law as guests and used Future Mother-In-Law as the officiant. It’s just not our style.

I try not to let it get to me and you shouldn’t let it get to you. If you love your wedding it doesn’t matter what they think.

Post # 4
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Aure:  We’re the same. My fiance’s parents are going nuts over how big our wedding is and actually have it on their list of reasons I shouldn’t be marrying their son.

Post # 5
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My SO and his family want the huge, plated-dinner, everyone and their neighbor wedding! I have no idea how we’re going to afford it, but I’m not engaged yet so we’ll see how things play out…

Post # 6
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mine havent said anything……but my parents are helping us out alot and they thing things will be perfect. So far my inlaws havent said much, but they’ve havent helped us out at all.  

Post # 7
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yep. My soon-to-be in-laws wanted a big affair when SO and I only wanted something small. Think, 30 ppl small or destination. His mom gave us the blues about it. We caved (I wish that we didn’t), but his parents are paying for most of it.

Post # 8
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Tomorrow I am going to my Future Sister-In-Law house for my Future Father-In-Law bday. My FH wants me to take my wedding binder to go over details with his family. We’re having a carnival themed wedding and the  idea itself didn’t really thrill them. my FH is the youngest of 5 with 4 older sisters, needless to say they all have their own opinions about everything. I am dreading going over tomorrow and  showing them my binder of ideas and inspirations. The ceremony itself is going to be a traditional catholic ceremony in church. The reception on the other hand is going to be less traditional with games and carnival type food. I didnt want the usual stuffy country  club wedding, my sisters did it and I wanted to stay away from that style I wanted our wedding to be original anf a fun place with yummy food, not your typical salmon and chIcken sit down formal dinner. Not style. Plus I’m doing a ton of DIY and neither of them is really crafty. I can only imagine their expressions when I tell them I am making my bouquet with fabric flowers… Whatever, it’s OUR wedding and I’m happy to be planning it the way I want. To be honest, my parents weren’t too keen on the idea either. But my Dad just says “Tina is going to do what Tina wants to do no matter what anybody says.” My Dad knows it would be a losing battle to try to get me to change my mind. So, screw what anybody else thinks, this day is about you and your FH and what makes you happy. Tough titty said the kitty, but the milks still good 😉 that’s what I always say. LOL

Post # 9
Member
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Aure:  They’re so appalling that even my laid-back dad hates them.

Post # 11
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

my Future In-Laws don’t necessarily think we need more “extravagance” but they have a super different idea of what a nice wedding is. They expected us to have it at 1 of 2 venues that they really like–these really gaudy, 80s style places. They expected tall centerpieces, and a cascade-style bouquet, and calla lillies (we’re doing low centerpieces, and I have a normal bouquet of yellow roses). At one point at the florist, Future Mother-In-Law was pushing her ideas SO HARD and they were sooooo not what I wanted (she pretty much wanted recreate her own wedding from 1981) that I had to interject and say “ok now I have decided on a theme..its ‘anti-1980s!'”…Future Mother-In-Law was shocked because, after all, I WAS born in the 80s….yup, 1986, so I should obviously base my wedding around that. 

Post # 12
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My Father-In-Law and Mother-In-Law totally supported our choices–both of our parents actually had full Mass ceremonies and simple cake-and-punch receptions in the parish hall.  We almost did the same, but had an earlier Mass and had a lunch reception in the parish hall.  However, after DH’s cousin’s blow-out wedding 10 months before ours, it was hard to not feel pressure from DH’s extended family.  Said cousin made a few remarks that left my normally laid-back momma steaming.

Post # 13
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@jackndiane:  I think my Future In-Laws (well maybe mostly FMIL) wishes we would have a bigger wedding so she could basically invite whoever she wants.  We made her cut people off her list based on the budget, which she is not contributing to, and she wasn’t happy.

I don’t think they have a problem with how nice or extravagant it is.  But I think Future Mother-In-Law thinks all of my creative, non-generic ideas are horrifying.

Post # 14
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Future Mother-In-Law wants us to invite all of Fiance family. Fiance is really not close to his extended family and we do not have the funding to invite everyone. Future Mother-In-Law has not offered a dime to invite the extended family. But, on the flip side she believes we are spending to much money on our wedding….Go Figure!!!!

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