(Closed) Anybody else who has children marrying someone who doesn't?and together not

posted 5 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I have a teenage son from a previous relationship. Honestly, blending was way easier than any of us expected. Mr. LK had never spent time around any kids ever before, so he was very apprehensive about moving in together. We made sure that our home had designated mancave space, in case Mr. Lk needed a place to escape to for some quiet time, but he never needed it. Things went incredibly well. He and DS just gel together. It’s been almost 3 years since move-in day, and we are a super tight family, just the 3 of us. ๐Ÿ™‚

Edit: To answer your other question, we are both perfectly pleased with the size of our family. Having one child is perfect for us and we have no interest in having another. Mr. LK isn’t all that into small kids, and neither am I, so having a teenager suits us well. ๐Ÿ™‚ Neither of us have any regrets about our decision.

Post # 4
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I have 2 kids, 15 and 12, and I am getting married to a man who has no children.  I wish I was young enough to have one or 2 with him but we have pretty much decided we are too old, I’m 45 and he is 46.  He did have a baby with his ex wife, but the baby had problems and died shortly after birth, that has made him quite gun shy so to speak.  The risks increase with age so that would make it even more scary for him.

I am okay with not having more, but I wish we would have kids together for him, for us and for his Mom, but that isn’t the way it has worked out.

Post # 5
342 posts
Helper bee

We’re both 40. I have 2 children, he has none. He’s told me that he already let go of wanting his own children because of his age. I would be fine not having more, but I really feel like he’d be missing out on something big. I’m not worried about the adjusting issue, I’m more worried about the regret. I would like to have a child with him, I’m just concerned that I’m getting too old.

Post # 6
2780 posts
Sugar bee

@dcruz72:  My SO does not have any kids and I have a daughter who is now 18 months. We started dating when she was only 6 months and he what’s been wonderful with her. Her dad isn’t around and he has totally stepped in! As in, changes the diapers, bathes her, babysits her, buys her anything she needs. He’s been wonderful! It was a little tough at first because I could tell he wanted to help just didn’t know how. Give your Fiance some time, he will get the hang out it!! Good luck (:

Post # 7
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I have 3, he doesn’t have any. We have been together almost 7 years (wow! Where did the time go?). We talked of having a child together when we were first together (I was pushing somewhat because like you said, I didn’t want him to regret not having a child ‘of his own’ down the road). He has always said that he doesn’t want /need to have another child, that my kids are enough. TBH, he lives a pretty free life and I don’t think he wants to be ‘tied down’ with a small child and that’s great with me. If we were going to have kids we would have been married a long time ago (I’m getting old LOL).

One thing I’ve come to realize is to take a man at his word and not read too much into things (in my opinion anyway). So, if he says he doesn’t want kiddos after you’ve talked about it, be content with the family you have ๐Ÿ™‚

As far as adjusting, my Fiance adjusted great for the most part considering a teenage daughter in the house, I know the trouble I gave my step dad. He and my son are as close as biological father and son, it is great to see them interact together. Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚

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