(Closed) Anybody else's SO….?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

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lesbimarried:  I haven’t talked prices with him…but I would be mad if he spent THAT much money on a ring! I don’t think he would though. We are both saving consious people.

Post # 17
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

I want to be engaged but I don’t care about the actual ring- I don’t know if I’m a bit weird about this especially since I’m on a weddingbee site- but I’m a pretty casual person, I’m most comfortable in yoga pants and tank tops, like sports, working class etc. He can get me a $200 ring from Sears for all I care- lol I just want the freaking proposal! And he knows I feel this way, in fact I think an expensive ring is unnecessary (for me, not judging others). I know SFA about clarity, carats and all that and couldn’t tell a $300 ring from a $10,000 ring. BUT like lesbimarried’s SO, mine is determined to get something ‘nice’. I think it’s partly pride- because as soon as people know you’re engaged, they’re all ‘let me see the ring!’ and so maybe our SOs are envisioning being judged by others for their ring choice? I think it’s also pressure too, because my SO is comfortable financially but knows many people (relatives/ teammates) who could be described as ‘well off’ so maybe there is some pressure to compete?

Post # 18
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

p.s. there is also the possiblity that our SOs think we’re just trying to be considerate of their budget in saying ‘don’t spend a fortune!’ but would really be  happier with a ‘better’ ring and just don’t want to say.

Post # 19
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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RobbieAndJuliahaha: 

Yup… I know diddly squat about jewelry too. I just want something that won’t turn my finger green!

Post # 20
Member
1210 posts
Bumble bee

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lesbimarried:  I think my DH felt the ring would be a reflection on him, regardless of what I thought. We had a FREE gorgeous family heirloom diamond (0.8 ct emerald cut) and he chose to spend a lot more (probably around 3 months salary but idk) and get something else. He thought the heirloom diamond was too small.

This may be a reflection of our social circle. We both have post-grad degrees and make decent money. All my friends have larger diamonds (around 1.5-2 cts). I think he felt people would have thought he was being cheap with the smaller diamond, etc. 

I love my ring, but mainly for the effort and time he spent choosing something himself. I would have been just as happy with the emerald cut, although it was half the size. Now I have 2 diamond rings though 😉 

 

Post # 21
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I called off my previous engagement, so I think since he knows this is the second time around for me he wanted to make sure he got me exactly what I wanted. Super sweet, but my mouth kinda dropped when he went to the “three month salary” rule. I got him to bring the budget down since I wasn’t completely comfortable with it, but I know it was only coming from a place of loving me and not a pride standpoint.

Edit: Okay actually, now that I think about it… maybe it’s a super prideful thing and if we ever run into the “other guy” he wants him to not in the slightest way question if I’m taken or not. Ha!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  missfreezy.
Post # 22
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Firstly, I thought it was 2 months salary! Secondly, no. That would be one expensive ring, and I would be afraid to get my finger chopped off. The one I picked was less than 1 month salary (maybe 1/2) and is exactly what I wanted. 

Post # 23
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Loveless Barn

I am guessing mine is in the ballpark of two months (I know his salary, not the exact cost of the ring). But he was apparently saving for a while without my knowledge. I hadn’t given him input, he really wanted to pick it out and he knows my style better than anyone. His priorities (I found later) were a band with some flair, clarity, and color. He said it was fascinating to compare the different clarities and he got fixated on being able to see flaws so he wanted to get a high quality in clarity. It isn’t massive but I have small fingers (size 4) so I think it looks plenty big and is perfect. The band is also great because it’s twisted and covered in small diamonds. The sparkliness is prettier to me than something huge and ostentatious.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by  tnfuturebride.
Post # 24
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

I did not follow the 3 months salary rule. I proposed to my fiance (then girlfriend) 1 month ago and she is in LOVE with the ring. I have never heard so many compliments from other people about a ring. The budget doesn’t matter, all that matters is you love it!

Post # 25
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Loveless Barn

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mnbrides08:  Yes, that. And I would have loved anything because of the time and effort he put into it. (But I really do love it and look at it all the time even six weeks later.)

Post # 26
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

When we started seriously talking about getting engaged, I was shocked and amused to hear that he legitimately thought I would require a $20,000 ring. I guess it’s a mix of societal expectations and a few jokes I made along the way about a “big rock,” but for whatever reason he took it to heart. He was pretty relieved when I straight up laughed at the ridiculousness of something that extravagant. We picked out a lovely antique ring that didn’t cost anywhere near that sum, and I can’t wait to see it in person!

Post # 27
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

DH knew about the rule – he’d heard it from some co-workers – but I told him there’s no way that we’re going to spend 3 months of his salary on just my ering! I found a ring I liked within his budget at the time – he mentioned waiting another month so we could get a bigger diamond, but I said no to that

Post # 28
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My ring cost less than a weeks salary. Your girlfriend will do what she likes though. If she can afford it and it makes her feel great then I would sit back enjoy the rock coming my way! I’m ever an optimist!

Post # 30
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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lesbimarried:  I think it’s in part a pride thing! My husband didn’t get hung up on the rule, per say. But I said, you can propose with an onion ring, or a ring from a candy machine! He bought be a MacBook Pro for my birthday one year, and my friends joked around that it could be an “Engagement MacBook”, and I would have been fine with that too…! 

We were talking one day and he said to me, you have to wear it everyday, but that doesn;t mean I don’t have to look at it everyday. I want you to wear it proudly and think of how much you love it yes, but I also want to look at it and think, that ring is worthy of you. I thought it was sweet! But I know what you mean, I guess we don’t look at what the ring means to our SO’s when they look at it on our fingers sometimes!

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