(Closed) Anybody ever quit their BM post because of a DISORGANIZED BRIDE?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@SoCalBelle:  Disagree — do NOT get there early and save-the-day rushing around.  She expected WAY to much and you were willing to actually do it! If she wants someone rushing around the last few days before the wedding, she can hire someone!  I’d arrive at the rehearsal on time but be absolutely unavailable and unreachable until that time.  Has she had people bailing her our her whole life when she doesn’t take care of business?

Post # 33
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Gee I hope not. I am the most disorganized person I know. But luckily my friends know this and love me anyway so I figure my BMs will stick around.

Post # 34
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would step back and fulfill your Bridesmaid or Best Man obligations – dress, show up and smile.

Anything extra (at least in this scenario) is too much; if she can’t get her shit together, it shouldn’t be your responsibility to get it together for her.

By The Way, it’s very nice of you to do this for her, but it seems like at this point, she’s taking advantage of it.

Post # 37
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

Good for you! She doesn’t seem ready for a wedding, does she?

Potential text:

Thought there was time to plan your wedding and mine, but it’s not possible. You don’t have much left to do. Let me know if you need help closer to the big day! Get Together…vendor meetings!

 

 

Post # 38
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

oh hellz no.  i would have dropped out MONTHS ago.  you aren’t her bitch! let her hire a wedding planner.  i can’t stand people who put things off and avoid responsibilities because they know someone else will handle it and deal with things for them.  to me this is the worst type of bridezilla.  i would stop communication completely.  she knows exactly what she is doing and it is super effed up.  once you stop trying she will likely kick her shit into gear or shift the responsibilities onto someone who will let her.  craziness!!!

Post # 39
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My cousin is in my wedding in October and also a Maid/Matron of Honor in her friend’s wedding in November. She is going through the exact same thing with her friend. It took them MONTHS to decide on a date and venue, which they decided on their house to have the wedding and reception. My cousin feels like she is pulling teeth just to try to plan things with her that need to get done. The only 2 things that she’s even done so far is pick the date and the venue. My cousin is totally stressing out and feels like she is losing a friendship bc of it. I told her that she needs to sit down and talk to her about the responsibilities that her friend is expecting of her. If they can’t come to an agreement then I suggested to drop out and tell her that she doesn’t want this to come between their friendship.

Post # 40
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

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@the_future_mrs:  HAHAHA. Omgeesh I love your post. Did the rest of the bridal party make it to a size 0 or whatever? LOL. Or did they just not attend the wedding because they died? lollll

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@WillyNilly:  Is this bride on crystal meth???? Her behavior sounds so nuts-O. You should seriously make her pee in a cup and take it to the lab–IF she ever shows up for one of your meetings. Lol. But jokes aside OP, run while you can. Evacuate for your safety please.

Post # 41
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@WillyNilly:  I am disorganized because I have severe ADD and I am unable to take any meds for it. But I am able to plan my own wedding, even in a completely disorganized way. And despite being totally disorganized, I have managed to earn several undergraduate and graduate degrees and run a cat sanctuary. If you saw my house or even my office, you would quickly agree I am a hopeless mess. But like I said, my friends know how I am and still love me! Unlike the OP, I do not expect my BMs to plan my wedding for me although a bit of help would be nice!

Post # 43
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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@WillyNilly:  Good for you! I’m doing the happy dance for you right now!

Seriously; I’m so glad you aren’t dealing with her and her drama anymore. I hate it when good people get taken advantage of…

Post # 44
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I almost did. My best friend got married in 2008 and she asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor. I accepted because I wanted to and I knew she’d need the help. It was a short engagement, they just decided one day to get married, set the date and that was that, so I was constantly asking her about rehearsal, dresses, if she wanted me to throw her a shower with the wedding only being a month or two away etc. She never had much to say. I didn’t get a dress until the week before the wedding because she finally just said as long as it has yellow in it, it’s fine. She ended up chunking in two more bridesmaids about three weeks before the wedding and we never had any rehearsal. I’m talking, we were standing behind the doors while the music was playing trying to figure out who was walking with who 1 minute before we were actually supposed to walk out. I was supposed to have her wedding band, but the best man ended up with both of them and confused everyone because she was nowhere to be found for about an hour before the wedding, when the best man and I were supposed to be discussing who got the rings. I didn’t even know who the best man was until he was linked on my arm. And then after the reception, no one knew who was supposed to take what, where because that also hadn’t been discussed.

I stuck it out because she’s my best friend, but I would never do anything like that again. I think that I was more nervous than she was because I had no idea what was going on.

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