- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Gee I hope not. I am the most disorganized person I know. But luckily my friends know this and love me anyway so I figure my BMs will stick around.
I would step back and fulfill your Bridesmaid or Best Man obligations – dress, show up and smile.
Anything extra (at least in this scenario) is too much; if she can’t get her shit together, it shouldn’t be your responsibility to get it together for her.
By The Way, it’s very nice of you to do this for her, but it seems like at this point, she’s taking advantage of it.
KT808, I have seen your posts prior to this one and I generally agree with them. But this post actually confuses me because it couldn’t be more self-centered. Why do people need to accept you and your disorganization? Why do other people have to be inconvenienced because you don’t take the time to plan out your own day…like we do?
This is now a side rant that probably needs it’s own thread…but the sentiment that we just accept Laters the way they are just doesn’t float anymore. You can be carefree all you want, but when you are 1) hoping that people will help you, 2) expecting people to be somewhere at a particular time/dress occasion, or 3) that folks should ignore your example and still behave accordingly…..no. I have to put my giant internet foot down and say that this is the entire problem with friendships, especially the one that I am having an open issue with.
You are not more important than me, or your friends. We shouldn’t have to just accept that your life is busier or more important than ours. We shouldn’t have to plan a half hour ahead so we aren’t left waiting for you all the time. Why should we? What did you give to the relationshion more than we did? This is a friendship, not a business meeting, but my god. It’s common courtesy and decency. You late people are constantly thinking of yourself and think that your ‘oh silly me’ schtick works, and it doesn’t. We are all still pissed, we just haven’t given up on you yet but let me tell you….we will be soon. It’s just not that day. As someone that doesn’t know you. STOP THINKING YOUR TIME IS MORE IMPORTANT, because we actually time manage so well that we already have 20 things that we can fit in your ‘slot’ and they are all otherwise engaging. And they don’t stand us up because ‘time got away’ with them….
KT808 this is not about you personally, just a trend that I have seen a lot lately in the last 5 years and I just really needed to rant.
Good for you! She doesn’t seem ready for a wedding, does she?
Thought there was time to plan your wedding and mine, but it’s not possible. You don’t have much left to do. Let me know if you need help closer to the big day! Get Together…vendor meetings!
oh hellz no. i would have dropped out MONTHS ago. you aren’t her bitch! let her hire a wedding planner. i can’t stand people who put things off and avoid responsibilities because they know someone else will handle it and deal with things for them. to me this is the worst type of bridezilla. i would stop communication completely. she knows exactly what she is doing and it is super effed up. once you stop trying she will likely kick her shit into gear or shift the responsibilities onto someone who will let her. craziness!!!
My cousin is in my wedding in October and also a Maid/Matron of Honor in her friend’s wedding in November. She is going through the exact same thing with her friend. It took them MONTHS to decide on a date and venue, which they decided on their house to have the wedding and reception. My cousin feels like she is pulling teeth just to try to plan things with her that need to get done. The only 2 things that she’s even done so far is pick the date and the venue. My cousin is totally stressing out and feels like she is losing a friendship bc of it. I told her that she needs to sit down and talk to her about the responsibilities that her friend is expecting of her. If they can’t come to an agreement then I suggested to drop out and tell her that she doesn’t want this to come between their friendship.
Awwww a cat santuary sounds awesome!! 🙂
I almost did. My best friend got married in 2008 and she asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor. I accepted because I wanted to and I knew she’d need the help. It was a short engagement, they just decided one day to get married, set the date and that was that, so I was constantly asking her about rehearsal, dresses, if she wanted me to throw her a shower with the wedding only being a month or two away etc. She never had much to say. I didn’t get a dress until the week before the wedding because she finally just said as long as it has yellow in it, it’s fine. She ended up chunking in two more bridesmaids about three weeks before the wedding and we never had any rehearsal. I’m talking, we were standing behind the doors while the music was playing trying to figure out who was walking with who 1 minute before we were actually supposed to walk out. I was supposed to have her wedding band, but the best man ended up with both of them and confused everyone because she was nowhere to be found for about an hour before the wedding, when the best man and I were supposed to be discussing who got the rings. I didn’t even know who the best man was until he was linked on my arm. And then after the reception, no one knew who was supposed to take what, where because that also hadn’t been discussed.
I stuck it out because she’s my best friend, but I would never do anything like that again. I think that I was more nervous than she was because I had no idea what was going on.
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