Post # 1
I see posts on here all the time regarding Future Mother-In-Law issues and how their SO needs to “cut the cord” so to speak…well my SO is a momma’s boy and I love him every minute for it. He treats his mother with respect, and she adores him. I could never imagine attempting to interfere with the relationship they have…he has seen her suffer a lot through her marriage and has been such a support system for her. I understand that there will be times when I come second to her, but I am totally okay with it…I will have the rest of my life to share with my SO while our parent’s time on this earth is more limited.
I just think that some women on here need to accept the relationship that their SO’s have with their parents, even if it means that sometimes you will be “second best”…after all it is their parent’s who made them into the person they are today, the person you fell in love with!!
Post # 3
Yes! He is a momma’s boy! But I’m ok with him, and I love him. I think it’s cute. I love my mom too so I might understand a little too well.
Post # 4
good point—I have a strong relationship with my mother, so its nice to see a man show his affection towards his as well !
Post # 5
eh, i love it but then i dont sometimes. i used to joke with Fiance to get off FMILs tit. the milk is gone now lol. i figure as long as fmil respects boundaries and isnt overbearing there shouldnt be any issues.
some mamas boys are over the top, id say Fiance is somewhat a mild case, so its tolerable.
Post # 6
I love it because it has made him into a fine man that shows love and caring for me unlike any other relationship I even had. However, his mother sometimes became out of pocket and because he was such a momma’s boy, he would hesitate to put her in her place. For example, his mother and I were having a civil conversation, so I thought, until she decided that I wasn’t seeing her point and said “You don’t understand me. I am going to talk to my son, he understands me,” to which my response was OK. Then she goes, “Yes, he understands me, I have been there for all of his 30+ years. I know my son, I love him.” At that time I just ended the conversation and hung up.
My Future Sister-In-Law confirmed that she is just having a hard time letting go but I am not use to “crazy” and I am sure not going to fight with anyone. I let my fiancé have his time with his mother and I respect the boundaries of their relationship and don’t interfere because I expect the same.
Post # 7
Though it caused some problems early on in our relationship bc Fiance stated he never wanted to move away from his family, I’m glad that he is so devoted to his family and mother. I have never seen him treat any women with disrespect, he is so family oriented, and always opens and closes doors for me even after 7 years of being together. My Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law did a great job raising him.
Post # 8
I love my momma’s boy. I appreciate the relationship that he has with his family and how much he makes them a priority. I think that makes him more of a man because I know that he will make me and when the time comes our kids a priority. He talks to his parents at least once a day. He doesn’t let it interrupt anything and if he’s busy he’ll call back. I thank his mom everytime I see her, because she keeps his head straight, and she keeps him grounded. I think that some momma’s boys are too connected but that is only because of past issues sometimes. I hope when I have kids, they will have the same type of relationship that my SO and his parents have. They can talk about anything and everything and not get upset, but just be there for each other and I love it. I didn’ get that in my family and to get it now, and be accepted as a part of the family it makes you feel so good!
Post # 9
@Dell79: I feel the same way about my FI’s relationship with his mother. Its a beautiful and sacred thing to me. It also helps that she has never, ever, ever tried to interfere with our relationship. She has been very supportive of all of our hair-brained ideas.
Post # 10
My ex was a momma’s boy. His parents gave him everything he ever wanted. When we got married he expected for me to be just like his mom. Boy, did he ever pick the wrong girl to marry! I made him get a job & keep it, & he did NOT like that. He thought I should support him! HA!
Post # 11
I get along really well with my FMIL; what I love the most about my FI’s relationship with her is their mutual adoration. I think he’s a “Momma’s Boy,” but in a good way. He has two sisters and a brother but they all know he is her favorite. Their entire family is very close-knit and all are wonderful people, they get along great with each other. I feel really lucky to soon be officially joining the family.
Post # 12
I wish Fiance was a mommy’s boy! Him and his mom essentially stopped talking after his divorce. She wouldn’t delete his ex wife off of her Facebook, and Fiance said that she could choose talking to him or continuing communication with the ex.
She still hasn’t deleted her, so Fiance hasn’t spoke to her on the phone since December or seen her since September 2011.
I looooove his mom though, I talk to her everyday. I talk to mine everyday too though, haha. I think I’m a major mommy’s girl.
Post # 13
@Dell79: While it is refreshing to hear a poster speak fondly about her Fiance and his mother, I think there is a stark difference between your situation and those of other posters.
It seems to me like your Fiance and his mom maintain a healthy, loving, and respectful relationship. There seems to be some boundaries, from what little you posted and love and support. I may be wrong, but it is my impression many of the posters that come to vent about the relationship their FIs have with their FMILs are venting about very unhealthy situations – stemmed in coercion and control. Again, I am so happy it isn’t the case for everyone, but it seems a sad (and common) reality for many bees.
Post # 14
As one of those bees who occasionally complains about her momma’s boy Fiance, I will say that his parents have raised him to be an exceptional young man. I also know that how a man treats his mother is how he will treat his wife (sometimes? Whole other topic.:/) and I look at the respect and love he shows his mother and I know it will be the love and respect that he shows me once we’re married.
That said, it can be hard for a momma’s boy to choose between his new wife and his mommy. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. And for me… maybe it’s just happened a few too many times for my liking. 🙂
Post # 15
What would you say is a mama’s boy by definition?
My ex was also a mama’s boy. The man claimed to not know how to cook, do laundry, clean, or do dishes – and when he did attempt because I needed help, he made such a stink about it kicking and screaming the whole way, that in the end it was easier if I just did it. That’s kind of what I think of when I hear mama’s boy, but obviously there are varying definitions that I’d like to hear!
Post # 16
This is what I was wondering.
I’m glad FI’s mom taught him to be respectiful and a good person, but I’m also glad that when him and I are on the same page and his mom wants something else, he stands up to her.