(Closed) Anybody not want a surprise?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Do you want a surprise proposal
    Heck yes : (30 votes)
    33 %
    No way : (17 votes)
    18 %
    Maybe a small surprise that I'm kinda In on : (45 votes)
    49 %
  • Post # 16
    110 posts
    Blushing bee

    I don’t like surprises either. I’d rather it be something we both want and both decide together. 

    Post # 17
    172 posts
    Blushing bee

    I do not like surprises! That said – I know my BF is having soo much fun planning his proposal that I can’t take it away from him. It’s a life long memory for the person proposing to! 

    Communicate to him that you don’t want to be surprised. maybe he can find a way to do it privately; or drop hints leading up to the day or time. I told my SO to not dare do it in public! Which he agreed on. 

    Post # 18
    544 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Marriage is a huge life step and I want to be totally involved in the decision. I didn’t know the exact day my fiance was going to propose, but I had a pretty close idea. But honestly, I would have been happy if we just mutually decided “we’re engaged now” without the proposal. I don’t like the trend of big dramatic proposals, and I hate when a woman asks her boyfriend when they’ll get engaged and he says some BS about not wanting to ruin the surprise. I see that in practically every waiting post. 

    Post # 19
    729 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    LittleE3:  I wouldn’t have wanted to be surprised either. I like a little romance, but I’m glad I knew it was coming in the immediate future (none of this “it will happen this year…” stuff for me, thanks!)

    Post # 20
    118 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: Studio 450

    View original reply
    ittybittykittycommittee:  HAHAHA! So funy. Or he could have just said “It’s your valentine’s day present, scram ” I usually get home first and therefor get the packages first, and i’ll sometimes be like what’s that? “One of your xmas presents.” ::Shakes it::: “okie” and walk away. It’s not like you wouldn’t be expecting a gift, it would still be a surprise when he wraps it up and gives to you. 

    Post # 21
    2168 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

    I know (generally) what my ring will look like and that it’s coming in the next two months. The precisely when/how is a surprise (which, SO was adament about because he wanted it to be romantic. How could I say no?). However, we have discussed the marriage and future aspects of our relationship extensively. I don’t understand how that can or should be a surprise. I can’t imagine an out-of-the-blue proposal. I would be panicked!  

    Actually, I just got an earful from my Future Mother-In-Law about just this. The whole “Back when I got engaged (at 22!), it was a complete surprise. I would have never expected to pick out my own ring…” thing. While I did defend our choices, I am so annoyed that people think I shouldn’t have a say in my own future! I have worked hard to get a good education, a good job, move in with my SO, we are building a life together. Why would I just completely hand over the reins now?


    Post # 22
    770 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    View original reply
    LittleE3:  I don’t think I ever really cared, lol. My husband and I talked marriage/kids/rings/proposals frequently before we got engaged. Before I found out I was pregnant we were in the midst of designing my engagement ring. He actually let me see it before he “officially” proposed (he wanted to show my dad the ring and talk to him first). Since I was pregnant, the element of surprise for a proposal kinda became unimportant. We don’t have a super sentimental, romantic, endearing proposal story… but I honestly could care less, ya know. If I wasn’t pregnant I’m sure I would feel differently but my perspective totally shifted. We got engaged and then married shortly after and now we’re having a baby. So it was like bam, bam, BAM! No waiting for us, but I’m so glad it happened that way. We love each other tremendously and wanted to be married for a long time.

    If I wasn’t pregnant though, I still don’t think I’d want to be suprised, ha. My husband calls me “the spoiler” because I freakin love spoilers and I like to know what I’m getting myself into before it happens. I have 0 patience and I’m lax about a lot of things so surprises are meh for me.  

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