(Closed) Anyone adopting/adopted?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

My sister was adopted! And so was Superman! πŸ™‚

All I can say is that it’s a very delicate process, and there are soooo many tricky elements to manage… but if you can work through them all, it can be incredibly rewarding!

If I were adopting, I would definitely talk to a number of adoptive parents and children… including both those who felt it went well, and also those who felt it didn’t.  Nothing beats talking to those with experience…

Good luck!!

Post # 4
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I plan on adopting. I too have always felt really drawn to it. We are not yet married, so this is still more of a dream than a plan, but would love to chat about early thoughts.

Post # 5
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

My current thought is to have 2 biologically and then adopt our 3rd.  That being said, if getting pregnant natually doesn’t happen easily for us, I’m not sure how many additional steps I would take.  Absolutely no disrespect to those who try IFV, ect, but we may just try to adopt immediately if things don’t progress.  I really, really adopt and have no problems with adopting all of our children.  It’s just hard since it’s so expensive.

Post # 6
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

We’ll be adopting our second child πŸ™‚ (later… way later)

Post # 7
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Im adopted and so are my two brothers!! πŸ™‚

I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old and I went to the same family as my middle brother (he is my half brother biologically) so thats pretty cool πŸ™‚

 

Post # 8
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

p.s if you want to ask any questions go ahead about our whole experience. There is heaps of info about the differant type of adoptions that you can get.

Such as surrogate, closed adoption (means that when the birth mother gives the child up for adoption they cannot contact the child at all unless the parent registers on a contact list and then the child has to register when their 18 and above)  Then there is one where the child can access their records(the slang term for it “limited adoption”).

Post # 9
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

I can’t really expain it, but I have ALWAYS wanted to adopt. As we try for our own biological kiddies, the talk of adoption has come up more and more between the hubby and I. He wasn’t always on board, but I think he’s warming up to the idea. If I’m not preggers by this time next year, we’re going to start the process. Although, regardless if I can have “my own” kiddies or not, I still want to adopt. I am worried about the cost though. We have decided that we really want to do an International adoption…which costs around $14,000. Yikes!

Post # 10
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

 I have always wanted to adopt, even with all of the risks and complications it involves. Mr P&T has more mixed feelings, so when we decide we’re ready to have children there will be a LOT of discussion about it, but I hope we end up having one biological child and adopting one child. πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@sushi – is that really a lot more than hospital bills and new pregnancy clothes and all the weird food you’d crave would cost though? πŸ™‚ 

I too have wanted to adopt for along time. Some of my closest friends adopted two of their (six) kids, and knowing them has only strengthened my desire to adopt. She is forever telling me that in her opinion, adoption was a lot easier for them because they’d already had four other kids – so even with the language barrier (international adoption) and medical conditions that their boys had (they were older when they were adopted, already school age), there was a lot that they as parents intuitively understood, because their other 4 had gone through the same emotional stages and had the same needs, besides some of the special needs. She said their experience really helped prepare them. 

Older adoption is a really special situation though; babies are easier, In My Humble Opinion. 

Post # 12
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

There is a very high chance that I unfortunately cannot have children naturally. My Fiance and have have decided that when the time is ready that we will try IV, but if we are unsucessful we will start the adoption process. I want to be a mother more than anything so whether I have a baby natutally or adopt I will have a family.

Post # 13
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have a very strong desire to adopt – especially here.  Adoption is very abnormal in Korea because of strong Confucian beliefs honouring blood ties, but unwed mothers are also super taboo.  Therefore, there are still a lot of kids being adopted by parents abroad even though Korea is a relatively developed country.  Nevertheless, overseas adoption of Korean kids is a really controversial issue here.  But…since FI is Korean, our home will be bilingual, and we will live here for another 10-15 years, I think we are in an ideal situation to adopt + give the child a solid foundation in Korean culture.  The problem….FI’s parents would be very upset if they had non- blood relation grandchildren πŸ™ So, we’ve discussed how if we have problems getting pregnant naturally, that adoption would be a good alternative because only then would his family be okay with it. 

Post # 14
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would love to adopt! My Fiance def wants to have his own kids, but if we have the money to, we’d like to adopt our 3rd child.  I’ve always felt drawn to it.  My aunt and sister’s mom are adopted.  And my aunt adopted two beautiful boys who have the same biological mother.  It was a very long and hard process, but they wouldn’t change it for the world!

Post # 15
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m VERY open to the idea of ART and adopting. Most people I know, unfortunately, are very judgemental about having children “not biologically theirs”. My dad even said once that he’d rather NOT have kids than adopt b/c they wouldn’t really be his kids. I mean, WTF?! And there’d be a lot of backlash if we adopted a child of another race, heaven forbid (eye roll here please). It’s just not common in the midwest….people here see it as “not” your kid. It’s ridiculous. I’m from Cali and knew LOTS of adopted people and my parents were always judgemental, very sad. Makes me angry thinking about it! If we end up adopting, I’ll kindly tell them to shut their pie holes, lol. Darling Husband is open to the idea and has no problem.

I think we’ll adopt if natural conception and ARTs don’t work or if we have, say, 3 boys and we want a girl. Or 3 girls and want a boy. I only want to carry 3 children, tops. We are also open to surrogacy because we would like a biological child.

I do have one friend who is VERY adamant about adopting. She gets flack from our friends (omg you don’t want to carry your own child?!) and she’s like “Hell no!” She’s my role model for handling it well =]

Post # 16
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception

@daydreamwanderer: It probably would be about the same cost. Lucky for me, I’m active military, so I have free medical. Makes a HUGE difference. Having a biological child would def. be more affordable than adopting….for me, anyways.

I’m sure there are more affordable ways of going about adoption, but hubby and I have discussed and agreed that we both would really like to adopt from the Philippines. Since hubby and I are both half Filipino (both our mom’s are Filipino, dads are Caucasian), we feel that our families could both benefit and keep the culture alive…if that makes any sense. My mom actually had a child when she was 18 (when she still lived in the Philippines) and put her child up for adoption. Not that I want to “make up” for that, but her story has always touched me and I would love a chance to make an impact in a child’s life (and them make an impact in mine!).

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