Post # 1
We are one of the very, very few couples for whom he is changing to my last name – as in, he is completely dropping his last name, adopting mine, and I am not changing my name at all. I am so happy he wants to do this, as I don’t know what the hell his parents were thinking when giving him his first name – last name combination. He has a name that had him teased all through middle school and even snickered at behind his back now as an adult. Seriously parents, say the name outloud a few times before you stick your child with it for the next 18+ years. In addition, his last name sounds absolutely terrible with my first name – he and all our friends agree. We both love my last name though, it’s beautiful! But all that aside, the reasons he states for wanting to have my name are 1. he wants to do the thing that most men don’t do in regards to our relationship, and 2. he doesn’t want to have his father’s last name anymore, he wants to show he truly is a different man by having a different name. Our kids will have our last name.
To add, it took us a long time to come to this decision. It was very, very important to him that we had the same last name, but not very important to me – I thought we’d each keep our original names and give his name to future kids.
I was wondering, who else here is in this situation? As this is very untraditional, why did you do it?
We are moving far, far away at about the same time as our wedding, so the only people who will know are our friends and family. My family is perfectly fine with it, but we are not sure how his will be. He told them already but they take absolutely nothing he says seriously (whether related to our upcoming marriage or not). I am prepared for them being shocked/angry when we actually do it, but since he so rarely communicates with them and we will be thousands of miles away, I can’t see it affecting us in a big way.
If you did receive criticism, how did you handle it? One of my best friend’s uncles did the same and his family refused to talk to him for two years… anyone with similar horror stories?
Post # 3
We’re each keeping our names, but that is so cool!
Post # 4
Good for you guys! As of right now, we’re both keeping our last names, but we’re considering changing our last names to a new last name that is a combination of both of our last names. (The combo we made up is so cute and we love it!) At the very least, our kids will have that combo last name, we just haven’t decided if we’ll change our names as well. I love it when people buck tradition and go with what works for them!
(Also, my FI’s last name is horrid.)
Post # 5
My FH offered to (esp. if I didn’t have any male cousins to “carry on” my name), but I decided to change mine. Then our initials will go together! : )
Post # 6
I think it’s a very cute story and I’m glad he gets a new one he likes more out of the deal! We didn’t do that, my maiden name was a mouthful (and sort of atrocious, but that’s just my opinion).
Post # 7
Saw this searching the boards to see if anyone else was doing this too!
I am a waiting bee, but my SO and I have spoken logistics before. We were driving to San Diego one day and he said out of blue, “I have been thinking a lot about it, and when we get married, I want to take your family’s name.” Needless to say, I was elated. I love my name and my dad has my sister and I and I didn’t want to lose my last name. My SO has a very poor relationship with his father. His dad has been incredibly abusive since he was a young young child, and although my SO is nearly 25, his dad still tries to control everything and nothing my SO does is good enough for him. His dad does not keep in touch with any of his siblings, and my SO is not sure what happened as whatever it was happened when he was quite young, but they won’t speak to his dad any longer.
Basically there is not connection to his family name, and my family has really taken him in and has a strong sense of family loyalty and tradition that we both wish to carry on with our family, so we are going to take my name instead!
Long winded story for a short answer, lol, sorry! 😛
Post # 8
I can’t wait to get rid of my last name! *spits* Nothing good is attached to it, and everything good and wonderful (great FMIL/FFIL etc) is attached with his! 🙂
I LOVE your story. I think it’s fantastic that he is getting to change his name; it’s like an upgrade 😀
Post # 9
It’s uncommon here in the US but that’s actually the norm for many asian families, esp. the Vietnamese. Both parents keep original names – kids take the dad’s last name.
But good for you guys for doing what you want. You’re the ones living with the decision, not the rest of America. 🙂