(Closed) anyone bought a house first?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@lucy_smith:  We haven’t got our own home yet, we’re due to find a house to rent once I have secured a job which will hopefully be this June. One of the things my SO seems stuck on is whether to propose before or after we get a house. I don’t really know why he’s stuck though so sorry for not being much help!

Post # 4
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yep, we bought a house together and got engaged about 18 months later. We wanted to live together before getting engaged, and there was no way I was moving into his bachelor pad (or he into my apartment). We worked a lot of stuff out in that first year in terms of household responsibilities, getting used to each other’s habits, etc. Plus, we raised a puppy, so that gave us some pre-parenting practice!

Moving in together and everything that went with it was a great decision–we love our house and couldn’t be more happily married.

Post # 5
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wait to buy until you are married.

I bought a house with a boyfriend. I really wanted to buy a house and he came along for the ride. I thought at that point I would marry him to both of our names went on everything. Looking back I should have bought it on my own. However things changed and after we lived together he changed into a horrible person. Luckily for me he had no way of affording the place on his own and had no family near by so he moved out and to the other side of the country and signed everything over to me. It could have been so much messier than it was. I got really lucky.

My current husband and I lived together before getting married and bought our new home together after we got married.

I know it can be different and for all I know you will be together forever and wont have the same problem I did. I would just move forward cautiously until you are married.

Post # 6
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lucy_smith:  My Fiance and I bought our house in early 2012 and we got engaged in the fall.  At the end of last year we had both saved up some money and we decided we would rather use it for a downpayment, and then start saving again for a wedding the following year, rather than get married first.  I am so glad we decided to do it that way,  as buying a house and all the chaos that came with moving in and doing some renos was a good “last check” before getting married.  Also now we can register for stuff we need at the house, and actually have somewhere to put it!

Post # 7
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We haven’t bought a house yet, but once we pay off a few of our unecessary debts this month and next month, we are going to start saving to build one hopefully in 6 years or so.

Post # 8
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My Fiance and I moved in first. He lived about 45 minutes from me so we waited until we finished school and bought the house. We had decided to move in first because we weren’t sure about all the expenses. If we got married first, we’d have the wedding and a house to pay for all at once. This way, we bought the house, got settled and use to things financially, and now we’re engaged and all our money can be focused towards the wedding. 

We were moved in for 6 months before the proposal.

Post # 9
5422 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

We bought while engaged but before being married. We talked about buying becuase I made it clear I wanted my savings to go into it.  He proposed along the way. 

Post # 10
1031 posts
Bumble bee

For my husband it was something he needed before we got engaged, even though we bought the house together.  H is old fashioned and wanted the world to know he could provide for us before he asked for my hand. 

I on the other hand was not about to move in until we were engaged, and he knew that.

3 daye before we got the keys…. he proposed.

Post # 11
3751 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We are getting married first, and it’s likely we’ll have a baby first too. We have a nice two story apartment (half a duplex) with plenty of room for us and can’t really afford to buy a house yet plus we have to pay for part of the wedding. And I’m getting older so we want to start TTC sooner rather than later. Buying a house is the lowest priority for us at this point. We definitely want to buy a house but it’s just not going to happen for a while. 

Post # 12
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Until marriage, I would never, ever buy a house with someone else.  If you want to buy and move in together, just put one person’s name on the mortgage.  

It can be a BIG problem to buy with a person you’re not legally attached to.

Post # 13
19 posts
  • Wedding: November 1999

We’ve bought and sold three properties together and aren’t married yet (under three months now!). I think you should do what you both want to do, there’s no right or wrong answer.

Post # 14
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are buying a house this summer but not getting married until the following spring. Reason being, we have the money, and it was always his plan before ever meeting me. We don’t want to sign a new lease. HOWEVER, the house will have solely his name on it until we are married. The legal issues when buying unmarried but jointly can be extensive. SO, as soon as we tie the knot, we will add my name to the mortgage.

Post # 15
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We did. The market was ripe and they were still offering the “first time home buyers” tax incentives, so we jumped on it. We always knew that we would get married, it was just a matter of when.

Now, 3 years later, we’re engaged and actually have space for all of lovely things that we registered for. I would HATE to be trying to plan a wedding/honeymoon AND worry about finding a house in the mix. Both are hard enough (and expensive enough) to do on their own, let alone together.

Good luck!


Post # 16
977 posts
Busy bee

I bought a house – but I got a divorce and needed a house because mortgages are so much cheaper than my apartment + utilities were- then my SO moved in with me. He helps pay for everything. 

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