(Closed) Anyone childfree by choice?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 226
969 posts
Busy bee


My OP (mentioned above) was “closed” by admin bc I apparently posted it in the wrong section.  If you were a part of the OP and/or would like to join in and show support, then please follow the new URL from the “IDEAS” section:


Also, be sure to VOTE (3 is best if you really agree with the initiative) if you want to see this put through.  Voting is the best way to be heard here, but feel free to leave a comment if you want to as well. 

Thanks, everyone!  😀

Post # 227
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Canadian Rockies

Yes, CF by choice here. I’m 29 and he is 32. We have 2 cats, and prefer the idea of travel, doing whatever whenever, & nice cars/financial stability over kids. I also have a LOT of student loan debt I am paying off, and don’t make a ton of money right now. We just have never felt that “urge,” and although they say it’s diff when it’s your own, we find kids to be somewhat off-putting. No offense to parents! You only have 1 life, and I’d rather just take care of us.. and our pets 😉

Post # 228
1179 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve known for a while that I didn’t want children. Like OP, I went through phrases where I THOUGHT I did. I think society brainwashed us to want kids, especially women. And we’re frown upon when it’s not part of our plan. Everytime I told people, they always said I’ll change my mind once I grew up, or once I meet the right person, I’d feel different. I’m 30 now and I still don’t want kids. I think it’s such a huge responsibilities and a lot of people actually have children by accidents and not really by choice at the moment. I would love to see a real life ratio on accident vs planned pregnancies. 

My Fiance broke up for a short period when we started dating. During that time, he told me he wanted kids (something he knew I didn’t). One of his best friends just had a child and I think he got caught up in that. I told him I’ll put children back in the maybe file when we got back together. And for a while (about a year), I tried. I tried to imagine it. But everytime I did, I felt this nauseous feeling in my stomach. Like a panic attack. So, I finally decided to have a serious conversation with him, that I truly can’t and don’t want to have children. I knew what they could mean for our relationship, but I just can’t imagine myself having children. Surprisingly, he told me he didn’t care and all he needed was me in his life to be happy. I think he just caught up by the moment seeing his friend with his first child. But he realized it definitely wasn’t for him. Now, he’s even more against having kids than I am, lol.

My family doesn’t care if we have kids or not, but his mom balled her eyes out when she found out. She mentioned grandchildren when we first started dating and she was always bringing it up. So we knew she wouldn’t be happy, but we were surprise by her reaction. His mom and sister both phone tagged him wanting to “talk” about it. I don’t know how they thought they could change his mind or my mind. But after a while, it sunk in to them that we don’t plan to. I think they still hope for an “accident”, but they’re at least not being dramatic about it anymore.

I truly don’t understand why some people with kids feel the need to QUESTION couples who are CF by choice. Like why? His friends bring kids now and again too. It’s like, it’s not your life, why do you care? Our planet is very much NOT underpopulated. We don’t need anymore people in this world anyway. 

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