(Closed) Anyone closer to FMIL than to your mother?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Actually, I kind of am! My mom lives in the same city as me, and I love her dearly, but my Future mama (who lives over 300 miles away) and I are a bit closer. (By closer I mean by internet and phone contact!) She’s the cool mom. The one who always has cash if you need it, the one you can always talk to about embarassing or private stuff, you know, “that” kind of mom. My real mom is much more strict, level-headed, and decliplined. There’s many things I can’t talk to her about. Either way, I love them both dearly and equally!

Post # 4
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Nope.  You are blessed!  My Future Mother-In-Law is nice but we are just so different that it’s hard to carry a conversation with her sometimes.  We just think so differently, if not the opposite lol  But at least she’s pleasant for the most part! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m very close to my Mother-In-Law but I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that my mom passed away 6 years ago-long before I met my husband and his family. I think if my mom were still alive, I’d still be close to my Mother-In-Law but not as close.

As it is, my Mother-In-Law and I have a great relationship. And out of her two daughters-in-law, I think I’m the favorite ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

we’re closer geographically… lol. but i am insanely close with my mom, so this scenerio would be impossible. i do have an awesome relationship with my fmil though!

Post # 7
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am really close with my Future Mother-In-Law.  Her and I go shopping together and sometimes I just go over to the IL’s house just to hang and chat with you.  She is a fabulous woman and I love to spend time with her.  I am soooo blessed.

Post # 8
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’m pretty close to my mom (and alike, it’s hard for us to live in the same house!), but I do LOVE my Future Mother-In-Law.  She really is great, and raised a pretty wonderful son all on her own!  Unfortunately, I don’t get to see her very often, because she lives in TN, while we live in IL, and the rest of our family lives in OH.  Also, my FH is really not into family like I am, so he doesn’t hang “like” to hang out with family as much as I do.

Post # 9
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I loooove my Future Mother-In-Law, and although I am somewhat close to my mother she’s not very maternal. My Future Mother-In-Law is quite the opposite and has been very excited about talking wedding shop the whole time. Despite the fact that this is her 3rd (of 3) child to be married.

Just be glad you got a good Future Mother-In-Law ๐Ÿ™‚ I too have heard the horrible stories, but it’s true you don’t just marry the man you marry the family.

Post # 10
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My mother and I dont speak as she was highly abusive, So you could say i dont have a mom.

When I flew to Japan by myself this past September to meet my in laws for the first time I just immediately clicked with my Mother-In-Law.

She just was so loving and attentive and our personalities are VERY similiar. sometimes when my Fiance gets frusturated with me he says “OMG YOU ACT JUST LIKE MY MOM” HAHAHA. I could totally see it. I really love her to death. When I was saying goodbye to her to come back to America I started crying! haha

 

MissLadybug- I SO AGREE! I hear all these horror stories and I think…Im sorry if I couldnt get a long with the in laws, I wouldnt get married to the guy. You cant expect him to give up his family for you…thats just plain selfish.

Post # 11
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I am superclose with my mom, but would love to be close to Future Mother-In-Law as well. I think all of you who have a great relationship with FMILs are really lucky. Perhaps I’ll join your ranks in a few more years.

Post # 12
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am quite close to my FMIL! She and I have a lot more in common than my own mother and I do. My mom is very jealous of this though, which is really unfortunate she just can’t be happy that at least I am getting along with my Future Mother-In-Law. As a matter of fact, we had to keep a visit from Future Mother-In-Law a secret from my mother becuase she would have been jealous that Fiance paid for his mom to come for an extra visit than my parents got that year (we live across the country from our parents). Fiance is very close with his mom.

Post # 13
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I am closer to my Mother-In-Law than with my own mother. I feel similiar to Osakagrl.It’s not so bad that I would say that I don’t have a mom….but we have a lot of issues and she isn’t the type of mom that is really motherly. She just has a lot of issues. My Mother-In-Law is exactly like I wish my mom would be. She is the type of mom I always wanted in my life and I feel so blessed to have her as my Mother-In-Law. It’s nice to know that I am not the only one who feels like this.

Family time with my inlaws is SO much more relaxed, happy, and fun than time I spend with my family. It is nice to be a part of a functional family ๐Ÿ™‚  

 

Post # 14
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I have an amazing Future Mother-In-Law. We don’t talk all the time or anything, but she is SO kind to me and Fiance and she has been incredibly supportive and excited about everything – much more so than my mom!

Post # 15
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m pretty close to my mom and my Future Mother-In-Law lives like 5 states away so I don’t see this happening. I’ve only actually met her once… but she seemed super nice. I also talked to her on the phone when we got engaged and she was REALLY excited and encouraging about it (more so than my own parents) so that was nice. I hope that I’ll get closer to my Future Mother-In-Law but I feel pretty lucky that on the rare occasions I encounter her, we get along. 

Post # 16
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am closer to my Future Mother-In-Law. My mom and I had some, er, issues when I was growing up, and the ILs really stepped in and helped me out. I’m closer to both my ILs than I am to my parents, although I am still on okay terms with my parents. I feel so lucky to have wonderful ILs and it makes me sad to read about people who have terrible relationships with theirs. 

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