(Closed) Anyone considering becoming a SAHM?

posted 11 years ago in Babies
Post # 93
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would have no problem being a Stay-At-Home Mom but there are many factors that prevent us from doing so. The main factor is that I am the breadwinner of the family but my job is being very flexible with me allowing me to work from home 1-2 days a week before the baby comes and work from home the entire month before and 2 months after the baby is born. My hubs is currently on 2nd shift so when I do return to work he will be watching the baby until he has to leave. We still have to discuss what we will do when we both can’t be home but at 16 weeks we have enough time to hash out the details and be ready for everything to the best of our ability.

If you can afford it  then go ahead. Both my parents had to work so we were in daycare, school or taken care of by a family member and it worked for us. Apparently, at some point during my hubs childhood his mom stayed home because they didn’t want anyone else raising their children. The problem I have with that is that they were dirt poor. When his parents worked, his mom was working 2 -3 jobs to take care of the family when his dad was sick or couldn’t keep a job. When both the parents were working, at times they barely had food for the kids leaving my hubs malnutrioned so honestly they couldn’t afford to have one parent stay home. So I am not sure that was the right decision for them. My hubby didn’t grow up with stability (constant evictions, dad too lazy to work, abuse from father) which both hurt and helped him. This is one thing that I want to make sure we can provide to our children. BUT this is my opinion looking from the outside. I go by what my hubby says. My family wasn’t rich by any means but we were struggling to find food either so I know what it is like to do right by my family.

Post # 94
401 posts
Helper bee

I am PRAYING that FIs job keeps going well and I am able to be a Stay-At-Home Mom later.  Maybe have an in home daycare…

Post # 95
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I love my career and I am positioning myself for some tremendous advancements in the next few years. Of course this totally conflicts with having a baby, in my mind. My mom wrote her masters thesis on the importance of the mother-baby bond, which if I return to work full time after maternity leave (3 mos) is not enough time to fully develop that bond (according to her thesis and other experts you need a minimum of 4 mos). I would love to stay at home longer and eventually return to work.

Unfortunately, we are looking at another 3+ years of graduate school for my husband (he’s applying to PhD programs), which means 3+ years of me being the breadwinner. While his schedule could allow for fewer days in daycare for a baby, it means I need to return to work fulltime.

If we are blessed with more than one child, I hope to stay at home for a while, perhaps working part time until they are all in school.

I agree, it is a tough balance.

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