Post # 1
So this is cycle 3 off BC and 2 of trying for me. Waiting on AF on 12dpo- multiple bfn butttt FX she never shows.
But I was just thinking about how overwhelming and stressful the last two months been for me. I am VERY type A and like to make sure I am in control of things, which is impossible in this process. I also struggle with anxiety disorder all my life which is why keeping things in control helps me stay sane, so I start ruminating, overthinking, over researching, thinking my body isn’t working right, maybe DH isn’t working right (when in reality we are both young 27/34 and very healthy), I go through everything you can think of to the point where I almost start feeling depressed before AF shows and then even worse once she’s here.
Before going on BCP, I have been extremely regular all my life28-29 day cycle and ovulated mid way ( noticed before with O cramps, and other symptoms). I’ve been charting for 3 cycles. And used OPK this cycle. March was my first cycle of BCP and I O late, which I was expecting. The 2nd and this last cycle my cycle seems back to regular 13-14 ovulation date AF 14-15 days later.
Hubby was discussing maybe it’s healthier for both of our mental health if we just try without tools just BD our regular way (2-3x a week). I was wondering if there’s anyone of you who have ditched the OPK and thermometers when knowing your cycle enough. And how did it go? Was it more helpful in “relaxing” and did you conceive?
If you haven’t, your input is also welcomed! I do want to acknowledge that I know so many of you have been trying for months and I tip my hat off to you. I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m being dismissive to the struggle for someone who’s been doing it for months or years just because I’m going nuts after 3 months.
thank you bees in advanced!
Post # 2
Out of like almost 20 cycles of ttc I have only conceived the two cycles I decided to skip the ovulation tests. I am currently 7w now, my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage in August. I know it’s technically smarter to track but I feel like I just stressed myself out so much when I was doing all that and it never worked for me.
Post # 3
@lv06: At first our plan was to NTNP, but I quickly realized I just am not cut out for that.
I’m also type A, and I just can’t not track and plan everything. I wanted the best chance each month to conceive, and didn’t want to miss a single O date. I also have PCOS and my cycles aren’t easily tracked, so OPKs and temping are necessary for me to know when to BD. For me, if I hadn’t done the OPKs, charting, and temping, I would have wondered each month I was unsuccessful if it would have made a difference. However, I know several Bees get stressed out by all of that and do better with a more relaxed approach.
It took me 2 cycles to conceive.
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Dh and I first got pregnant NTNP but I had a miscarriage. I’m now pregnant again and this time I only used OPKs. There were absolutely times where we took breaks from using OPKs and tracking because it did get stressful, and I wanted to be sure that sex never became a task to complete like doing laundry. It was very important to me that the experience stay positive and fun, and anytime it veered out of that lane, we took a break. We actually took July and August off from all purposeful trying just to ease the pressure. I think that BDing regularly when you have a pretty good idea of your cycle is a good way to give yourselves a beak without completely stopping.
Post # 5
I had a phone date with one of my best friends yesterday and she is pretty much the polar opposite of me. When she was trying to get pregnant she didn’t do any of the charting/tracking, her cycle was pretty average like yours & she got pregnant within 6 months. She tracked her period with an app but never knew when she O’d or how long her LP was, it was very casual.
I think if charting/tracking and timing BD is really stressing you out and it’s effecting your health (mental and/or physical) and relationship it’s time to take a break. Doesn’t mean you stop trying for a baby but be kind to yourself and trust that your body is amazing and your sticky bean is right around the corner. Best of luck, bee. Baby dust!
Post # 6
It took us 8 cycles to conceive. I think I didn’t track cycles 3 or 4 and aftewards kicked myself so hard because I felt like it was wasted time. I know my personality type and NOT knowing was infinitely more stressful to me, and I felt like I’d lost out on the opportunity to a) get pregnant and b) at least learn more about my cycle since I was flying blind. It did not work for me.
Post # 7
Agree with PP that you have to do what is best for you. We went the NTNP approach the first few months and that ended up being more stressful for me than tracking. I found myself still trying to use the online calculators which aren’t accurate for me at all since I O early (and I knew that by observing cm, but it still made me question myself). Having the data and knowing that our timing is good helps with my stress levels, but you have to do what makes you feel the best!
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2020 - Las Vegas, NV
Yep I stopped charting and got pregnant the month after. I don’t know if it was luck or because of stress but it worked. Unfortunately I ended up miscarrying but it’s nice to know I can get pregnant.
Post # 9
So I’m also very Type A as well and that’s why I decided NOT to chart or temp or do any of that when we actually were TTC. I knew it would just add a whole other layer of crazy to the whole process and end up driving me utterly batty. I wanted to try to be as chill as I could about the whole thing (which was not very chill, haha). I did temp in the months leading up to us TTC and after I got of BC, just so I knew for my own piece of mind that I WAS ovulating and to give myself a general idea of when in my cycle that typically happened. But when my husband and I officially decided to go for it I stopped. And you know what? It worked! I know it was probably mostly just luck but I think taking the stress of it away helped too. We got pregnant on the first cycle of trying and our son is now 2.
Best of luck!
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2017 - California
I am a fan of just having sex every other day around when you think you are fertile in particular (it’s easier said than done though – if you have a fairly regular cycle, it’s pretty easy, if not, its pretty difficult – I have a fairly regular cycle). I am doing IVF now due to recurrent loss, but back when we were trying naturally, the first time I got pregnant we were NTNP and it took a long time, but to be honest we were just not even close to my fertile window which I later learned all about (and obsessed about). Second pregnancy, I tracked/charted like a maniac and it took 5 months to get pregnant, so not bad (and I think the month we got lucky was partly to do with having HSG that boosted my fertility for a brief period of time). Third pregnancy, we basically just had sex every other day from around Day 12 – 18 and it took two months that time. Based on my third one, I am a fan of just not charting and just having sex every other day around the time when you expect you would be fertile based on previous tracking (so I think tracking can be helpful, up to a point but if you’re fairly regular or if you just prefer to have sex every other day for a longer period of time to cover your bases, you really don’t need to keep tracking IMO). While my three pregnancies thus far unfortunately ended in loss, I feel like I learned a lot about my body from charting and I don’t regret doing it, but I’m glad I stopped and it did “work” in the sense that I conceived very quickly in only two months of trying without charting.
Post # 11
I got rid of everything but OPKs. Me and the hubs aren’t bunnies so we would miss our window every cycle if I did not atleast do that.
I dumped the temping. Teas. Supplements (excluding prenatals obviously). PreSeed. Etc etc. I am thoroughly over it after having a loss and nothing happening since.
I think it has worked out great quitting all that crap. I think this is our 9th/10th cycle trying and I just feel like its never going to happen. I fear I have endo. But dumping all that stuff makes me feel better emotionally. I kinda accepted it isn’t going to happen and getting rid of all the stuff to remind me all month it isn’t helped.
Post # 12
It took me years to get pregnant with my first. After years of tracking I knew my ovulation signs so I stopped tracking so much. That’s when I got pregnant
Post # 13
I never did opk or temps – my doctor said it isn’t worth it if it causes you more stress! I did pay attention to my cervical mucus, but we just had a ton of sex all the time. We ultimately needed IVF because of male and female factors, but people get pregnant without tracking ovulation all the time so if it stresses you out just skip it for now.
Post # 14
I tracked super duper closely the first 5 cycles, and then the 6th cycle was the most lax of any annnnnd bingo bango, knocked up. Super annoying lol. I’m another bee with an anxiety disorder and it was really hard to decide whether it calmed me down to have control of info or to try to let go of some control and stop feeling so obesessive. Honestly, if you guys really do BD 3 times a week, you will very likely hit some very good days. I’d give it a shot for a month and see how it feels!
Post # 15
I think I’m in a similar boat as you. We’ve only gone 3 cycles and I already feel like the charting and tracking and timing is just… a lot. I’m in the habit of taking my temp every morning, and I’d started that before TTC so I don’t think I associate it so much with the process, but the OPKs and planning BD are really… I don’t know, just not fun for me? It seems like others get excited about those parts, but it just seems to fuel my anxiety and add pressure.
So anyway, you aren’t alone. I think I’ll keep temping, but I don’t think we’ll make any plans for FW, and I’m not sure if I’ll OPK again this month.