Post # 1
Hi bees! Did anyone do a Destination Wedding followed by a local reception and just got so fed up by all of it? I just had my Destination Wedding in Southern California (we’re from the east coast) and it was a pretty small wedding (a tad over 70 people). Being that it was a smaller wedding, we only invited family and close friends, so we didn’t invite a lot of H’s parents’ friends. We decided to do a local reception on the east coast, so H’s parents (since they really wanted to, I wasn’t a huge fan of doing this) can invite their friends, and the people who couldn’t go to Cali or we didn’t invite could attend. Simultaneously planning two weddings was a lot of work. H didn’t help out too much, and my dad got very sick (cancer) about 8 months and it was extremely tough for my family and me. DW was a 2 day celebration with several events. It was wonderful, and I had a great time, but after it was over, I just wanted to relax because it’s been a very tiring 8 months. I have a pretty demanding full time job too. We have over 160 people coming to the local wedding, and H wants it to be a full blown wedding again (videography, photography, DJ, photobooth, the works). He of course also wants to go bar hopping after it too. I barely want to do any of it. I’m just so tired and exhausted from everything. I feel like I just want to run away and hide from all this. We didn’t take a honeymoon and I just basically came to work immediately after our Destination Wedding since I had no vacation days because I took off so much time to take care of my dad when my mom couldn’t. This urgency to get away from everything grows stronger by stronger by day. I don’t think H understands how sick and disinterested I am by all this wedding stuff. I wish people would stop talking to me about wedding stuff. I’m just so sick of it all. Has anyone experience the need to just run away from their wedding a mere two days before it? I just don’t think I can handle another celebration. I’m just so drained.
Post # 2
We kind of had this situation – my family is from the east coast, his from the west adn we live in the southwest. We only invited our closest friends and family and of the 60something invited, 35 came, so it was very small. My parents want to have a party for us sometime in the east, so they can show him, that is us, off. It would be for people who couldn’t make it for various reasons, plus family friends who weren’t invited to the ceremony due to various constraints and the fact that I didn’t want to look gift grabby or demand people spend 500+ apiece to attend my wedding. However, I very much doubt they will call it a reception and it will be anywhere from 6 months to a year after our wedding occurred.
Doing the reception as a wedding is out of line, I’m sorry. That would drive me crazy, as it appears to be doing to you, and it probably looks really bad from an outside perspective. I would totally side-eye anyone who did that. If you haven’t planned it already, I would tell him it’s inappropriate and have nothing at all to do with the planning the second time around. A local reception is okay, a party is awesome, but a full blown wedding is wrong. You had that already and he needs to understand that.
If you do go through with it, there is no rule that you have to go bar hopping after. Head back to your home/hotel and relax – he can hang out without you.
Hope your family illnesses and such have improved and all goes well for you!
Post # 3
You sound like my fiance! We are having a private ceremony (essentially eloping except everyone knows) in Mexico in February. He would be perfectly happy to leave it at that, but my family is giving us money to have a small reception so they can celebrate with us. I have started to plan it and he is kicking and screaming about the whole thing. Your post is honestly making me realize that this whole thing is probably making him miserable and that I need to hit the brakes to make sure it doesn’t grow to be more than a small reception/party. Have you told your husband how “sick and disinterested” you are? Maybe he just needs a reality check that there’s no need to do the whole shebang again and maybe a smaller dinner party or backyard BBQ would be more appropriate for the guests that didn’t go to your wedding?