(Closed) Anyone do the sex ban before the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Did you abstain before the wedding?

    Yes, and it was great!

    No. What are you talking about?

    Yes, and I wish we hadn't.

    No, but I wish we had.

  • Post # 32
    2734 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    We didn’t – I actually think it helped us deal with the stress better to have that outlet together Wink And I don’t think it took anything away from our wedding night or honeymoon – both were fantastic!  I dunno, I don’t think having crazy pent-up sexual tension with no outlet is automatically the recipe for “special” sex.  The situation itself (wedding night, honeymoon) and your love for each other are what make it special.

    Post # 33
    2766 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I feel like that would add a whole new dimension of stress, so no way, I can’t see us doing that.

    Post # 34
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My husband and I were going to wait for one month prior to our wedding, but three months out we had a particularly, um, exciting afternoon which resulted in a ruptured ovarian cyst! I had to abstain for a few weeks after that and HE suggested we just stop altogether to avoid a similar situation. It was sweet and worked out well for us. 🙂

    Post # 35
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    We tried to abstain for 2 weeks and failed!

    Post # 36
    597 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Yes, we abstained for about 2 months which was rough, but great on our wedding night.

    Post # 37
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013


    i cant remember if it was just one week or two but there was so much going on. we wornt going to even sleep with each other but we couldnt help it. lol. we didnt “do it” . we were staying with my sister and my family so it was kind of easy to not do it. the nights ended so late trying to get ready. We didnt do it the night of the wedding. we got to our room at like 3am. But we spent two nights at a B and B where they actually brought you the breakfast and we had this nice huge jet tub in the room. we didnt leave the whole time.

    Post # 38
    849 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We didn’t have sex the week leading up to our wedding, but we were way too busy tying loose ends up/getting all the details in place, and AF was visiting, haha. We didn’t even “consummate the marriage” the night of, because we were too tired and just wanted to go to sleep.

    Post # 39
    1303 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Psh. we hadn’t seen each other for a few months before he came out for the wedding. We may or may not have had sex the day before we got married. no regrets 🙂 it was still amazing after the wedding. 

    Post # 40
    4113 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I’m 100% asking without any judgement or criticism, but why? I understand abstaining from sex before marriage for religious regions, but why stop when you’ve already started? Is it to make the wedding night more significant? Just legitimately wondering.

    EDIT: Is this threadjacking? If so, I’m sorry!!

    Post # 41
    11 posts
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We have been abstaining for what will be a little over 3 months before our wedding…… only 3 1/2 weeks to go and we cannot wait! :o)


    @KC-2722:  As for why – it is something we had heard about through friends and such and we discussed it soon after we got engaged and decided on 3 months of no sex before. To me it just seems that our wedding night and honeymoon will mean that much more to us knowing that it has been something we havent done in awhile. 

     Also for me it does mean more that when we make the sacrament of marriage we have abstained and truly thought about that sacrament.

     I am not saying our wedding night will be better than others or that it will mean more – it is just my opinoin and what we have decided to do!

    Post # 42
    6317 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @KC-2722:  I was wondering the same thing.

    I think I kinda get it… like not having steak if you’re planning a big steak dinner in a couple of weeks… but with something like sex it seems a bit odd. If you’re used to having it, it would take a heck of a long time for it to feel new/different again IMO. Like if you stop for six months or something… but then why would you even do that??

    Post # 43
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Fiance and I stopped having sex about a month ago and we have 6 months until the wedding. We DID decide this for religious reasons. We were having sex 2-3 times a week and going to church on Sunday like it was no big deal. (My beliefs have always been to wait but of course, I got sucked in) One Sunday at church I just felt convicted and talked to Fiance about it a few days later. To my surprise he said “we should just stop having sex until we are married. I feel guilty about doing it now.” I was so glad he was feeling the same thing as me. One night we wanted to do it and so I got in the shower and he came in and said “Babe, I don’t think this is right. I still want us to wait to have sex” I was SO proud of him for taking a stand. We believe that sex is an act if worship that God created for married couples. I know it is going to be hard, but it will totally be worth it in the end.


    Sorry mine was a religious post—but Fiance and I are not virgins and didn’t wait until marriage so it’s a twist on the “religious answer”

    Post # 44
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We did for about 2 weeks but with all the last minute details we would not have had time anyway.  Also he was working nights so we had limited hours together.


    Post # 45
    492 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Our timeframe kept getting shorter and shorter. Ultimately, a week, however I was sick in the days leading to the wedding, so it wasn’t like it was on the menu anyway… 🙁

    Post # 46
    590 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Uhm, no. I mean, we could also have fasted for the week before the wedding to make sure the cake would taste extra delicious, but that would be crazy.

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