(Closed) Anyone else actually prefer to adopt, regardless of whether you CAN have kids?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 32
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am mixed on this. I really want to bear a child so if I can I will do it. But I also know the need for adopting. So possibly try and do both. 

Post # 33
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’ve always wanted to adopt.  It’s something I’ve always said I will do.  But I also want to have at least 1 kid that I carry.  So we’ll see.

Post # 34
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I desperately want to adopt, but Fiance doesn’t.

It reminds me of the movie with John Cusack (I forget the name) where he says “I don’t want to bring another kid into the world, but what’s wrong with loving one who is already here?”

Post # 35
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We want to have biological children but we also want to adopt, probably from foster care but possibly international, too (I went to Haiti several years ago and you better believe there were a couple kids I wanted to bring home with me!)

Post # 36
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

We’re going to adopt kid 2.  I have had my birth experience and now it’s time to work on giving a better life to someone who needs it.  Insert environmental and social arguments here.

Post # 37
48 posts
  • Wedding: February 2011

@missmouse29: while I agree with you that the majority of children that are adoptable are First Nation children, I disagree with what you say about parents getting the children back whenever they want. Laws may differ from province to province, but where I currently live once an adoption has been finialized that is it for the biological family unless there has been some type of agreement made prior to this happening. Before children can be placed for adoption there is a number of steps that need to be taken including terminating the guardianship rights of the biological parents. If the child is a registered member of a reserve consultation with the band must be done and the band has the right to refuse to release that child for adoption. That doesn’t mean that child can not be adopted it just means that it is going to be a longer process. Once the adoption is final, the biogical family no longer has any rights to that child. The adoptive family becomes the child’s legal guardians and has full rights to make decisions for that child. If the adoptive family does not want contact with the biological family it is their right to say no.

Post # 38
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We want to adopt. I’ve always wanted to and was thankful that my husband was on the same page. We’d like to have a biological child and adopt or if things work out and we can’t have biological children, we’ll adopt two. I know the process can be long and frustrating, but there are so many children that need homes, and for us it is especially important to adopt a black baby. Honestly, I wish I could steal Sandra Bullock’s little Louis.

Post # 39
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would like to have my own children, but I have already suffered from 3 miscarriages, and the doctors are still not sure what caused them. So, hopefully it happens, if not, my sister already offered to be a surrogate so my FH can have biological children, which is important to him because he is the last male in his family and he wants to pass on the name. I have ALWAYS wanted to adopt. Perferrably older children out of the foster care system. My siblings and I spent a short amount of time in foster care when we were younger and I met people who did not get out of the system until they were 18. They never had a stable home, they were often bounced from home to home. Its sad. I would love to give some of those children a home. FH fully agrees with me. We plan on starting to try for our own children in about 2 years and hopefully start adopting in about 4. FH wants to wait until we are in our 30’s so the system will take us more seriously about wanting to provide those children with a permanent home.

Post # 40
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Both. I want to experience carrying my own children, childbirth, etc. However, boys run VERY prominently in my FI’s side of the family, and I want a little girl so badly. We have decided that if we don’t get a girl our first two times, we’ll adopt 🙂 And even if we do have a little girl, we might adopt anyways. There are too many kids out there without a loving home, it breaks my heart.

Post # 41
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have always been interested in adopting, but as I grow closer to the actual time where we’re thinking about kids, I realize I would like at least one of my own, but very possibly no more. So I’m not as interested as I once was, simply because I just don’t think I want multiple children. 

Also, we know a couple who have a girl from Russia with RAD, and it terrifies me. I know it’s more prominent in certain countries, but the idea of it has scared me off from adoption quite a lot. I deep down just don’t think I could do it. 

With that said, I seriously applaude those who will go on to adopt. I think it is an amazing thing to do. 


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