Post # 1
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
A couple of things have happened to the man and I lately that we both think are kind of sad/bad/crummy, but they’re simple matters of procedure.
1:
I found out that when you get a marriage certificate in this state (or in the neighboring state – probably everywhere), they attach a copy of your divorce paperwork to it. Then, it sits like that in their files forever. A happy, awesome marriage certificate, forever stapled in shame to a stupid old divorce decree. Together in a file.
2:
We ordered my engagement ring and it’s being custom made. We also traded in my old wedding band and e-ring. The guy put them in a little baggie, and put them with the diamond for my new e-ring. So in a little envelope in a jewelery store downtown, my beautiful sparkly, romantic, lovely marquise diamond is chillin with my old bad-memories e-ring.
These things seem totally un-romantic and mood-killing to me! I understand the reasoning for it… that’s just how things get filed at courthouses, and in the case of the jewelry, it’s the easiest way for them to keep track of where the trade-money is coming from. This is a new us, and a new relationship, and I wish we could separate it completely from the old one! But to the courthouse, it’s just legal papers, and to the jewelry store, it’s just metal and stones.
Anyone else get sentimental about simple, seemingly harmless things?
Post # 3
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper
OH YEAH! I’m with you! I see old stuff and I just want to burn it! Sometimes I wish I could just erase parts of my life but, what can you do???
Post # 4
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay
Yeah, it did bother me that, in the "excitement" (not that it’s really exciting, but you know what I mean!) of applying for our marriage certificate, we had to go to the courthouse, get copies of his divorce decree, seal it in the envelope with our birth certificates, etc. and mail it away.
Oh well, what can you do?!
Post # 5
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
Yep, it’s all a bunch of hoops that need jumping through… but what a pain in the butt, and what a mood killer!
Post # 6
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
I’ve been there. My biggest "issue" right now is that we are house shopping, and when finally do move we will open our storage unit, and I’m not so sure I will be prepared to go through all of the old memories in there. Photo albums, etc… of ex’s for both of us await us in our storage unit. Bummer.
Post # 7
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
@caliocteach – oh man, that is really sucky!
When the man and I moved in together, he brought all of his stuff in to my home, where I still had a lot of things from the past. He also brought stuff from his past (it was a pretty quick "just dump everything in the car and move it" kind of move). But luckily for us now, we moved into a nicer place (one I hadn’t lived in with my ex, most importantly!), and when we did that, I made a point not to bring old memories – EITHER of ours). A few photos and other little things ended up sneaking through, but they’re gone now too. It’s a crappy task to deal with, but when you’re done, I promise you’re going to feel AWESOME about it!
Post # 8
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
It doesn’t bother me at all – I see your point, but I try to look at things this way… I am the sum of my past experiences. You see, if my ex hadn’t cheated on me, I wouldn’t have left him and moved in with my best friend from high school. She wouldn’t have introduced me to my friend Mark, who took me to this great bar in the Quarter. If I had never gone to that bar, I wouldn’t have met my fiance, who worked there. So I don’t regret any of the crappy things from my past, because they made me the person I am today, and led me to where I am.
Post # 9
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
Loralie – this is very true – it’s good wisdom and I very much believe it. Though I STILL don’t like my divorce degree mingling with my marriage cert!!! lol