- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I’m going through some strange and hurtful stuff with this wedding planning process. I didn’t know what I signed up for when I said yes!
I’ve had two people now be really critical of our wedding plans. Goes something like this:
“Why are you planning such a traditional wedding, even though you’re lesbians?” or,
“wow, bridesmaids and flower girls? You’re going really traditional hey? Weird.”
Why can’t queers have tradtional weddings, or incorporate traditional elements? Weddings, by their very nature, are traditional! This is a cultural tradition, and no matter how you dissect or reinvent it, all weddings are going to have some basic elements to it.
ok, maybe you don’t need bridesmaids or flower girls, but having our friends up there with us is important to us, and flower girls are adorable, and actually hold ritual significance to me.
Yesterday one of my bridesmaids dropped out, saying our wedding was too traditional for her, and she can’t understand why we want them to wear matching coloured dresses. I said they could choose their own style, but I wanted the same colour, for a visual aesthetic. And she’s straight! to top it off, she told me by TEXT. i’m hurt and I think her approach is so tacky.
she’s long distance so we’re trying to resolve it over email, and it just sucks. She’s saying stuff like “I thought you were the kind of person who would have an Elvin, Celtic handfasting- I don’t recognize you in this, and I can’t be who you want me to be.” She hasn’t even taken the time to find out- we are doing a Celtic ceremony, including a handfasting, and our attire is entirely Lord of the Rings, Elvin- inspired. WTF?
people’s true colours come out in this process, hey? I never thought planning a wedding would be so emotional and stressful. Naive, I guess.