(Closed) anyone else being criticized??

posted 6 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Unfortunately we are not in the planning phase bc Fiance has to make a move to my city and job switch before we can get civil unioned. However the LAST people I would expect to give criticism are the ones we love and care about, closest to us. That sucks, and Im sorry ๐Ÿ™

Post # 4
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mtnhoney: oh god im so sorry about your bridesmaid!! how ridiculous. she shouldn’t dictate what you can and cannot do. she should be standing up there for you because she supports you, regardless of what color dress you’ve requested that she wear!!

this statement is spot on:

“Weddings, by their very nature, are traditional! This is a cultural tradition, and no matter how you dissect or reinvent it, all weddings are going to have some basic elements to it.”

i, too, like the traditional element of weddings. i like the formality, since it is a very important life event. just because you’re gay and that is “different” doesn’t mean that you have to run down the aisle in a tye dyed rainbow tuxedo.

people are insensitive ๐Ÿ™

Post # 5
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

So sorry that’s happening, and that one of your BMs dropped out (via text!). That is absolutely not cool. As you say, weddings ARE traditional — if you ddn’t want to be traditional, you wouldnn’t be having one! I hope people stop with their hurtful comments…and I hope you and your Fiance enjoy the planning process.

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

She can’t be who you want her to be? What kind of bs is that – you’re not telling her who to be, you’re asking her to please wear a certain dress you have picked out for one day. I would of lost my cool over that one. And it’s really crappy people are making assumptions on your wedding based on your sexual orientation, I’m sorry =(

Post # 7
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sorry you’re going through that >.<. I think a lot of people don’t realize that no matter who a person is marrying, most of us (at least women, not sure about men) have grown up dreaming and planning how our weddings will be. Yeah you might not be a “traditional” couple, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a traditional wedding. Try not to let people get to you. Whether you’re straight or not, everyone has opinions that they want to give you when planning a wedding. Just stick to what you want and what represents you two as a couple and you will have a happy day that you will remember always. Smile

Post # 8
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee

This is terrible. How can a friend drop out of a wedding for such a ridiculous reason? Who cares if you wanted her to wear a burlap sack? It’s YOUR wedding & she is supposed to be supportive. Is it possible that she’s just using that as an excuse & actually has a completely different reason for not wanting to be in the wedding? I would almost hope so, considering how childish her argument (not to mention method of communicating) is. Is she only your friend b/c you share a love of LoTR? Surely not. Why is she treating it like it’s *her* wedding that you’re planning?

As for the people who don’t understand the traditional aspect, your comment about how weddings are a traditional concept to being with is PERFECT. If it’s what you want, fantastic. Don’t be afraid to say it! It’s possible they’re worried you’re trying to please your more conservative relatives, perhaps? Either way, it’s rude to say such things to a bride-to-be. It’s your day & you’re celebrating something wonderful. If someone doesn’t feel like sharing in that, it’s their loss! Don’t accomodate them. Just keep your chin up & don’t be afraid to speak your mind! Smile

Post # 9
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

remember its YOUR wedding! You get to choose how you want your wedding regardless! you are the one who has dreamt about a wedding all your life! it shouldnt matter weather its “traditional” or not and shouldnt have anything to do with who you are marrying. Ugh people make me so upset! they really just shouldnt voice there opinions so bluntly! its not there wedding!  Ugh seriously. I am not in your same boat, but I know that I am already being told i HAVE to have a cake, soooooo I think I am having a friends mom make a FAKE CAKE. just for pictures, and to make people “happy” it will just be a prop! hahahahahah I AM NOT PAYING $900 for a damn cake!

Post # 10
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I am so sorry you are going through this.  On a side note, what the FRICK does your sexual orientation have to do with your wedding style?! 

No one walks around saying to people, “Oh, that’s a really great straight way to do it.” <_<

Post # 11
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@September29: LMAO @ the tie-dyed tux.

OP:  I can’t believe your Bridesmaid or Best Man dropped out of the wedding via text.  You’re right, that is tacky… and her reasoning is stupid, honestly.  Who drops out of a wedding because they don’t like the way the bride & groom are planning THEIR wedding?  This is your day.  All she has to do is stand there & be supportive of your union.

I hope that things get better for you.  I don’t understand why you’re getting the raised eyebrow for having a traditional wedding… it never really crossed my mind that some people would find it odd for a homosexual couple to have a traditional ceremony.

Post # 12
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@September29:  just because you’re gay and that is “different” doesn’t mean that you have to run down the aisle in a tye dyed rainbow tuxedo.

This!  When my FI’s uncle heard we were getting married, he said, “Great, I’ll bust out the tie-dye.”  Um, no.

People have commented that our wedding will be “quirky” or “out of the box” because we are a gay couple.  In fact, we are planning a fairly traditional ceremony/reception.  OP, you are not alone!

Post # 13
Member
28 posts
Newbee

mtnhoney, if it makes you feel better, I once saw a little bit of an episode of Engaged and Underaged (yeah I know what you’re thinking, it was an accident, I’d never support marriages that begin too young), and this episode featured a very traditional wedding that included every typical thing you’d imagine when you hear the word “wedding”, even was officiated by a Catholic priest…and it was for a young lesbian couple. The audience had nothing but love and respect in their eyes for the two glowing brides in their absolutely beautiful (but white and traditional!) wedding gowns. It touched my heart in so many ways and is probably the only reason I liked that show a tiny bit.

Sorry that your bridesmaid doesn’t seem to get the idea that a non-traditional relationship doesn’t require a non-traditional wedding!

Post # 14
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

I’m planning a VERY traditional wedding.  Like mega traditional.  I have got a few comments.. but I’m pretty traditional as a person, besides being a big lady-lover lesbian.  So I haven’t got too many comments. 

Keep your head high – your Bridesmaid or Best Man is being a bitch. 

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