Post # 17
We do live in a society where many people are extremely ignorant and naive when it comes to lifestyles that aren’t “mainsteam.” I think it’s refreshing to hear that you are having a traditional wedding. Why should you have to give all that up simply because you are in love with a chick instead of a dude? I am heterosexual and therefore cannot completely understand what you’re going through, but I do want to encourage you and give you props for doing what is right for you and your future wife!
Post # 18
That’s crazy. It’s not her wedding. Her role is to support the two of you. Not define what you are and what your wedding is. Maybe she’s a control freak. Or maybe she’s just not the good friend you think she is and she’s trying to get you to cut the rope.
In my book, her battling with me would be grounds for immediate dismissal of friendship. I shit you not. Or at least I’d put her on the backburner of my life. But that’s me. I’m ferocious.
Post # 19
Well I am straight but I think people who have those types of negative comments should be ashamed of themselves. Why shouldn’t you be able to have the wedding of your dreams? It’s almost like they expect you guys to down play your relationship just because it is not the cultural norm. People seriously need to grow up. Just because it is not right for you does not mean it’s not right for someone else. I honestly do not care what people do with their lives or who they choose to be with as long as it is not physically hurting anyone else. Have the wedding of your dreams and don’t worry about what other people think.
Post # 20
First off, this is not unique to lesbian weddings. Weddings often seem to bring out the drama in family and friends. It can be limited by limiting the people you talk to about your wedding plans. However, when it is a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and she’s upset about the matching Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, there really is nothing you can do, short of being happy you at least learned about it early enough in the process to be able to find someone else if you want.
Second, I think that in general, same-sex weddings tend to be more traditional than opposite-sex ones. Straight couples can ignore a lot of traditions, because the fact that they really are getting married is not going to be challenged by anyone. Same-sex couple often want to keep more of the traditions, to highlight the fact that this is a real wedding.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. However, her comments are totally unfair.
Post # 21
She doesn’t deserve to be one of your bridesmaids if that’s how she’s acting! I am so sorry you have to deal with this!
I don’t think anyone can judge weddings anymore – there are so many options out there and to be honest, I would LOVE to attend your wedding – it sounds AWESOME!!!!!
Who cares if you have bridesmaids and flower girls – if that’s what they care about instead of making sure you get all the help you need and stay happy, then they need to check themselves!
<3 Hope all goes well, dear!
Post # 22
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
@2dBride: I never thought about that – that we may try to be more traditional. It actually makes sense.
Post # 23
i guess I should write a follow up since this thread still has some life in it!
my friend and I talked it out, and made peace. It really was about HER issues with marriage and weddings in general (her being divorced) although she was projecting it as though it was because of MY choices. Which sucked, but she apologized, more than once, and I can forgive.
No, I won’t forget the stupid things she said, but it would hurt me more to lose her as a friend, even a long distance one.
Although she did specifically make a comment about “why are you having a traditional wedding, even though you’re lesbians”… I’ve come to realize that the other comments that have got my back up were because people think I’M non-traditional. not because I’m marrying a woman, but because I’ve always gone against the grain, been anti-mainstream, and done things atypically.
so, when I realized that- it made more sense and I came to the conclusion that it was my own insecurity causing me to be defensive. an AHA! moment, if you will.
thanks for all the support bees!! i’m happy to have my two besties still on board with me!
Post # 24
I think straight people think gay marriage = show. They’d like to see us dressed in purple and or funky coverse sneakers and matching rainbow rings with tapestry vests…at an eco-friendly dream catcher-making village.
Not that there is anything wrong with ^ those things – but it doesn’t mean we cannot have a traditional wedding. I’m sorry mtnhoney that you have to hear that.
We’ve had the occassional “so why don’t you wear a linen vest?” to my wife (we married in Iowa, officially, last October and live in MI). I’m wearing pink blush and am as girlie as they come. Our wedding is at a gay owned venue (two men) and its very classic and beautiful. I have three bridesmaids and my wife has two. She will wear a traditional black or navy suit and I’m wearing pink blush lace gown with full tulle or organza skirt and sparkly pink shoes I’ve dream of since I was little. The bridal party will be in dresses that are modest 50s and look like something from Roman Holiday, and the music etc. etc…is very traditional.
And so are we. The world has a long way to go, and its only through attending our weddings and seeing how much we love eachother … and how long we’ve been together will they learn.
Enjoy your beautiful wedding and do it up!!!!