(Closed) Anyone else deal with a delusional ex wife?

posted 6 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@ahelsel1025:  

This is just from my perspective, as a child of divorced and remarried parents:

I always like having photos of just the people that can never be removed from my life via. divorce. I know it sounds awful but when your parents get divorced once, there’s no naive illusion that it could never happen again. And while I’m totally happy with having pictures taken of everyone, I always want the same photo taken with just the blood relatives. I’m thinking particularly of my wedding photos. Do I want photos of my mom, dad and step-parents? Absolutely. I also want photos of just my sisters and my mom and dad and I. Because, God forbid anything happen, I don’t want to have to not display my family wedding photos because they now have myex-step-parent in them.

Why his ex-wife would want them I don’t know, but I can see a valid reason for his children wanting them. Sorry to disagree with you 🙁

Post # 4
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee

If his children didn’t want them, it’s fine. For me, I got a picture of me, my dad, my mom, and my brother at graduation, his graduation, and my wedding and they’ve been divorced since I was 7 and none of us think it’s weird. I also got pictures of me, my dad, my stepmom, and my husband at my wedding; all of us and my grandma; my mom, my brother, me, and my husband; etc. However, we did not get a picture of me, my husband, and both his parents because there’s a lot more drama there so we did two different photos, one with just his mom and one with his dad and stepmom. 

It depends on the family. If the rest of the family isn’t comfortable with it, she should let it go. 

Post # 5
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Agree with AdriannaJean:

This is “the price you pay” when you marry a Divorced Man with children

His current family may be you and yours… but he will FOREVER be the Father to those children that he had with THEIR MOTHER

He doesn’t have to LOVE her any more…

BUT he can’t just snap his fingers “and make it all go away”

Life doesn’t work like that

— — —

And for the record… I am an Encore Bride / Divorcee about to marry an Encore Groom / Divorced Man

He doesn’t have a lot of interaction with the Mother of his children… but every once in awhile something does come up where it is “all about THEIR family” and not ours (usually something related to the kids… a Wedding like the PP said, or College / Uni Graduation, Illness, Death of a Relative etc)

It happens…

Honestly there is no reason to be jealous of this other woman… he’s been there done that.  And now he’s with you.  Being jealous just doesn’t make any sense at all… there will be years and years in front of you… can’t get all wrapped up in this too tightly… as it will cause tensions in YOUR MARRIAGE

 

  

Post # 6
Member
7736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It depends how it’s done. If mother and father are on opposite sides of the photo (with children and/or grandchilren in between) so there’s no implication that they are a couple, I think it’s ok. It’s not a photo I’ve ever wanted (with my divorced parents) but I think my sister might have done that at her wedding.

But I agree, if the kids don’t want it, it’s weird for the ex-wife to want it. Anyway, she left, so problem solved 🙂

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