Post # 1
My fiance and I have been together for over five years, and he’s helped me through some pretty hard times. In the summer of 2006 my mom was diagnosed with uterine and cervical cancer. She had a radical hysterectomy and radiation and was doing fine until about a year ago. Due to the radiation she developed leukemia, which was diagnosed in October of last year.
Getting married had always been on our minds, and right before Christmas he proposed. While it may seem like bad timing, we had a day all to ourselves before going to VA and sharing the news with our families. It meant so much to me that I was able to show the ring to my mom. However, it has been really hard planning these past months because her health problems have been compounded by other family issues. We’ve even considered postponing, but my mom actually wants us to move forward because she might not be there if we do. Then I wondered if any other Bees had similar problems. The problems involved are kind of unique and sometimes it helps to have someone that understands the situation that you’re going through. So feel free to share or vent, I know how hard it can be!
Post # 3
Miss Green, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, I can relate as I went through a similar situation with my aunt. My first thought is to not postpone, but could you possibly move the date up? I realize that may be difficult, but it’s worth thinking about atleast. I’m not sure what else to say… but I know how badly this situation sucks, my dad had cancer as well. I’m sending you ((hugs)). Hang in there lady.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s ill-health, we are going thru a similiar situation with FH’s dad, who was diagnosed with occular lymphoma (basically eye cancer) on June. He just finished radiation and will be starting chemo in a few weeks. It’s so stresful and scary, I feel so deeply sad for my FH and his family. We discussed moving up the wedding in case he was given a bad prognosis but his dad didn’t want us to. It’s not an easy situation, for sure, always in the back of my mind how brokenhearted we would all be, should FH’s dad not be at our wedding. I wish I had some advice for you but all I can say is I will keep your mom in my thoughts and prayers and I think you should go forward with the wedding plans, as quickly as possible. Share anything you can on WB, it’s so helpful and people are so nice and sympathetic…. I so dearly hope your mom recovers before your wedding.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother! 🙁 My sister went through the same situation with our grandfather, who had been struggling with leukemia for several years. We weren’t sure he would make it to the wedding, but he did, and was well enough to read Bible verses during the ceremony. A few months later he passed. Those memories are very precious to us now, because he got to see his eldest granddaughter marry and we could celebrate with Grandpa one more time before he passed away.
The important thing is that your mother isn’t dead yet, and God willing, you’ll have a lot more time with her. Just enjoy every moment! I’d keep going with the wedding (faster, if her condition is that dire) and spend lots of time with your mom.
Post # 6
I am so sorry other bees too are going thru such situations. Much much love to all of you!
I too am going thru this. My grandparents (maternal) are both living and until about six months back, they were doing fairly well health-wise. In fact, they just celebrated last month their 70th wedding anniversary and suddenly it all changed in an instant.
My grandmother began having black-out spells at random times, even had one at her salon getting her weekly hair style and once at the grocery. Then she has been hospitalized off and on for two weeks as batteries of tests are still being done. At almost the exact same time, my grandpa went in for his physical and he’s been doing great at 90 (walked 9 holes of golf once a week still and drives), but after some blood work was done and then of course a few more tests, we found out he’s in stage 5 kidney failure and has been immediately placed on dialysis 3x a week.
My dad passed away 10 years ago this summer so my grandpa was going to be the one to walk me down the aisle. Now it is up in the air if either of them will be living this time next year and their health is sadly, very up and down and it’s really sad.
So I will be missing 3 of the closest ones in the world to me on wedding day and many a tear has been shed over this. I love them and it’s so sad.
Post # 7
I’ve been sort of teary today so I thought I’d come back to this thread and share what happened to me. My family is very small. There are only a few of us, but we’re very close. Well, my beloved aunt became sick over the summer, but the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her. She had been a cancer survivor for almost 13 years. A few days before my wedding she went into the hospital because she couldn’t breathe or keep any food down. Her daughter (my cousin) was one of my two “best ladies” and my uncle was supposed to walk me down the aisle, as my dad had passed away a few years ago. They obviously were not able to make it to the wedding (they were in OH and the wedding was in AZ) and it was really quite sad for me. I was so worried about my aunt, but I was also (selfishly, I’ll admit) sad that they weren’t there to share this major life event with me. Well, my aunt ended up passing away three weeks after the wedding from complications arising from the cancer that had indeed returned. We are all pretty devastated and it sucks so badly. So, I think it’s really important to cherish the time that we have with the people we love. We need to tell them that we love them every single day, because you just never know what plans the universe has for us.
Post # 8
@nothernazbride- I’m so sorry for your losses. We should always cherish the time we have with our loved ones. It must have been a bittersweet event, not being able to have them with you.
@runrgirl10- I don’t know much about that type of lymphoma, but my grandfather was actually diagnosed with lymphoma shortly after my mom. Has he lost his sight? I hope he is doing well, chemo really takes it out of you.
@Minutiae- It’s wonderful that you all were able to share those great last memories of him. I’m sure it meant a lot to him to be there. I have been lucky enough to spend a lot of time with her. We actually got pedicures this weekend! It was a fun little outing- it’s always good to get out of the house.
@bellenga- It’s strange, but my grandparents on my father’s side were almost the exact same way. They were active through their eighties (playing tennis, etc.) but it seemed like their health just started going downhill when they hit 90. I know it’s hard, seeing those we love go through such difficulties, but it sounds like they’ve had a lovely life together. Isn’t that what we’re all hoping to do, grow old with the one we love?
My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you, and thank you for your kind thoughts.
Post # 9
Same boat. I hope all the Bees posting here have had a better turn in their family member’s health since their post.
Miss Green-I feel for you so badly. Going through the same thing. We got engaged immediately before my dad was diagnosed with cancer and my Opa passed. We put all wedding planning on hold immediately, it just didn’t seem like the right time to “throw a party” for lack of better terms. We figured if we needed to have a quickie wedding due to the circumstances at a later time we could always do that. I guess I’m trying to look at the silver lining and hope for the best, as I hope you and your family will. What a great day it will be when our family is well and we can celebrate two fold- health and love. Well, that’s my hope. Hopefully God will be on all our side through all this and grant us that hope.