(Closed) Anyone else disappointed in the proposal/ ring

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 16
Member
7627 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

And you’re not excited for your wedding in three weeks? Are there some deeper issues here?

AND your Fiance bought you a new ring when you told him you didn’t like the one he proposed with? Sorry, but I think you really need to get over this. What’s more important? The proposal or the marriage? Considering you’re not looking forward to your own wedding than maybe this isn’t the right guy for you.

Post # 17
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You seem to have a lot of resentment built up toward your Fiance. In answer to your question, no, I don’t have any disappointment with my ring or my proposal. My ring isn’t the biggest ring, and my proposal was a sweet beach proposal. In my mind, I had the perfect proposal. But, no my ring isn’t the ring I always dreamt of. But I think it’s beautiful and love what it represents, and that my Fiance picked it out for me himself.

Post # 18
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

I liked my proposal because it was heartfelt and meant something. Was it something that makes an amazing story? No. But he proposed and that’s what’s important to me. A friend of mines husband proposed basically by saying “hey do you want to get married?” And that was it. And yet she still married him!

The ring isn’t important, the proposal isn’t important, hell even the wedding isn’t important, what’s important is you’re marrying the person you love.

The fact that all your posts seem to be negative kind of makes me wonder what your commitment is to this guy. Is it about being with him, or is it just about getting married with a big fancy ring and stories to make everyone jealous?

Post # 19
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
amandeebee:  I’ve also read your previous posts and I’d be a iittle concerned that you’re feeling so miserable during what should be a very happy and exciting time.  I am lucky and very blessed in the fact that my husband had a very well planned out and detailed proposal.  I loved that he put so much thought into it but that’s just how he is.  He enjoys that stuff and wanted to make it special.   However, the proposal has come and gone and then we had a wedding to plan.  The wedding has also come and gone and now we have a marriage.  The proposal was a 4 hr event.  The wedding was a 7hr event, but our marriage is for the rest of our lives and that’s what is most important.  I think rom com movies and fancy proposals really jade us and make it even harder on the guys to live up to those expectations.

I will say that the wedding planning wasn’t all bunnies and rainbows and it can get more stressful than joyous at times so that’s a bit normal.  I also didn’t have that “omg this is the dress, time to start crying” moment with my dress.  But I’m also not an overly emotional person who had pictured my wedding since I was a little girl.   The fact that you hate your ring, the proposal and now the wedding planning is a bit concerning.  Do you and your fiance know each other well enough to be taking this next huge step? 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by  Burtongirl.
Post # 20
Member
354 posts
Helper bee

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amandeebee: again? Seriously, accept the fact that you will never be happy with it an move on. What’s done is done and you can never turn back time. Why make yourself so upset?

 

The only reason why you are unhappy because you constantly compare yourself to others and feel you are inferior. There will always be people who will have a better proposal or ring than you do.

Post # 21
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am sorry you are upset about your proposal, and I understand why you are upset. However, maybe this means you will instead have an *amazing* wedding. And, to be honest, weddings win over proposals every time. I  had the most perfect amazing proposal at the top of the Empire State Building after midnight, and people are awed by that story. I honestly don’t know anyone IRLwho has had as nice a proposal, and ppl always tell me this. However, I was in agony with a hideous bladder infection on my wedding day, and nothing can ever change that. After all, we go about dreaming about our perfect day, and it can never be repeated.  I would much rather have had a regular proposal (like most ppl I know) than have spent my wedding day smiling through agonising pain. I still feel jealous that pretty much everyone gets to have their perfect day, and I never will now.

Think about it: people have pictures of their wedding in their home; their family/friends attend the wedding and hopefully enjoy it; the bride and groom (generally) put a big part of their personalities/talents into their wedding; and the wedding is the legal and spiritual union of two souls. Plus, once you are married people will continually ask you about your wedding and very few ppl will ever discuss the proposal again. So wouldn’t you really rather the wedding be perfect than the proposal?

Trust me on this…

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by  Bainise2013.
Post # 22
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
amandeebee:  What is really important to you? A fancy ring, a fairy tale proposal, a fantasy wedding, or a real, solid marriage to a man who truly loves you?

I’m going to be very blunt with you, my dear. You don’t sound emotionally mature enough to be getting married.

Post # 23
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

View original reply
amandeebee:  I had imagined that my proposal would be over a candlelit dinner at a very nice restaurant or perhaps during a weekend getaway trip. Instead,  FI awakening me from a deep sleep around 4:00 a.m. Christmas day expressing his love for me and asked me to be his  wife. It wasn’t what I had imagined,  it was better than anything I  could have ever imagined because what truly matters is that he asked me to be his wife. 

Post # 25
Member
354 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
amandeebee:  I don’t think MOHlookingforideals is not being jerky. She spoke the truth. It’s you who is being sensitive and rude. 

You will never get your perfect proposal, that’s the truth. 

Post # 26
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee

37 years ago, my husband and I were poor college students. He didn’t have a ring. It wasn’t planned. It wasn’t smooth. He spoke from his heart. We’ve been married over 36 years. 

There’s a big difference between fantasy and real life.

Post # 27
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Christmas Tree Farm

I sometimes wish that I had let H pick my ring. I happened to find the perfect ring while we were out together, and he tried to convince me he didn’t like it so that it could be a surprise when he proposed with it, but I do sometimes wonder what kind of ring he would have picked out by himself. 

Along that line, I would not say that I was disappointed by his proposal, but before we got engaged H used to tell me that he had all sorts of big plans for proposing and I wonder what those plans were. He ended up driving to my house straight from the jewelers and proposing right then, because he said that once he had the ring he just couldn’t wait. As much as I still sometimes wonder what big plans he may have had, the way he asked me was so perfect and so us. When people ask about it and I tell them the story, they look at me like I missed out on something by not getting a down on one knee proposal, but I married a man who totally gets me and I couldn’t care less about what other people think. 

Post # 28
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Maybe you shouldn’t get married.  You sound miserable in this.

And if that sounds jerky, okay.  You asked for opinions repeatedly on how miserable you are.

So, don’t get married.  You sound very unhappy, and very ungrateful.

Post # 29
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
amandeebee:  I really thought my SO was going to propose recently while we were on vacation because we went to the restaurant/bar where we met and got seated in a nice quiet section in the back near a fireplace, but he didn’t (turns out he didn’t have the stone set yet, just had an empty ring). After about two seconds of feeling a little bummed I remembered that he is the BEST man I’ve ever met, and that he loves me more than I ever thought somebody could, and that man could propose to me with a plastic ring from that Pretty Pretty Princess game at a pizza parlour or something and I’d still be the happiest girl in the world. Being content with what you have and finding the joy in it is your biggest key to happiness!

Post # 30
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
AccioShoes:  I think that is adorable. How cute is it that he literally just couldn’t wait! Me and my SO are like that with presents (we almost always give them to each other early). 🙂

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