(Closed) Anyone else do all the cooking in the relationship?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who does the cooking in your relationship?

    It's all me and I'm fine with it.

    It's all me and I wish he would offer to cook every once in awhile.

    He's in charge of making dinner, I can't cook for the life of me.

    We like to cook together or take turns in the kitchen.

  • Post # 47
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I usually make dinner but sometimes my fiance does. I like to cook really southern style (lots of butter, bacon, etc.) and he doesn’t. There are lot of foods I grew up with that apparently aren’t big deals in NY. Like fried catfish. So some of my favorite things rarely get cooked. We eat a lot of pasta and easy stuff to make because we are both pretty tired after work. He makes pasta, pasta salad, buffalo chicken dip, pizza rolls, and…..yeah, that’s about it. He likes to make scrambled eggs in the microwave. I have to scramble them in a pan. Don’t like the way they smell microwaved. We find enough common ground though. 

    Post # 48
    2466 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Jewelieee:  Im with ya…. I cook everything…. DH makes his own sandwiches for lunch and stuff for work but in terms of actual “cooking” its all me 99% (he sometimes makes eggs etc on a saturday morning…..  Its not that he’s lazy but he just doesnt know wtf he’s doing in the kitchen lol….

    Like for valentines his big surprise plan for me was cooking me a nice meal (where I told him step by step exactly what he had to do) LMAO It was so sweet the look on his face like a a deer in the headlights… but I do get tired ๐Ÿ™ This week has been “picking up last minute stuff at the store” dinners and eating out because we had to be somewhere for a meeting after work yesterday….

    Tonight might be pizza lol. I just dont have the energy to do a big shop right after work and I need to do a shop because its DH birthday on tuesday so were having people over tomorrow and the inlaws for dinner on sunday, so instead of going twice I think we’ll order in so I can make a proper list and build myself up to go in the morning….. its also -30 and supposed to be -44 overnight and tomorrow night so I really want to try to find a delivery service LOL.

    Post # 49
    330 posts
    Helper bee

    My SO is a chef (and a picky eater) so he tends to the be the one doing the cooking… although i do love to cook and he “lets” me on occasion. I would say do it together. and make it fun… like have a dating cookoff with couple friends. and maybe the competitive nature of him will come out… or do a cooking class together… you can really just let him know how you feel and im sure he will start to pull his weight.

    Post # 50
    604 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I like to say SO is my sous chef ๐Ÿ™‚ He’s a great prepper, slices, dices, grates but I do most of the actual cooking, mostly because he’s still learning his way around a kitchen (and food that doesn’t include frozen pizza and chips and salsa).


    Still I picked “We cook together” because its true ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 51
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’m a lucky bee-my Fiance is an AMAZING cook, and he loves doing it. I hate cooking, and when he doesn’t cook, we basically eat cereal. But I do 100% of all cleaning, laundry, etc-and I don’t mind cleaning in the least. It works well. 

    Post # 52
    3075 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    I do all of the cooking, since living together almost a year ago, he’s made me two things; steak. & hamburgers lol. Whereas I can’t count how many dishes I’ve prepared for him. I don’t mind though, we alternate between leftovers from our moms, eating out & me cooking. Plus, he works very long hours so it makes me feel good to be able to do this for him. I do dread the dishes after though hehe. 

    Post # 53
    558 posts
    Busy bee

    Go an a cookery week-end somewhere if you’re really keen for him to learn?

    Teach him how to boil an egg then he can make you both breakfast? At least at week-ends? 

    Then some day teach him how to make pancakes. Make sure you praise his attempts, as that’s how men operate.

    I do think the mimimum is knowing how to make an omelette..

    Get him to set the table, that might help you out.

    A good thing to do is make a large amount and you can freeze the rest into foil trays.

    Then when you have lots of meals in the freezer you can pick one out at random the night before you want it and leave it to defrost in the fridge and you have a meal already done.

    I seriously would plan your meals ahead.

    Teach him how to make little things.

    Give him a potato peeler and show him how to peel veg. That could be useful for you. He doesn’t need to take over the show but he could certainly help you out. Put some music on and sing along and he might even enjoy it.


    Post # 54
    4045 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I love to cook, so I’d actually hate to give it up… He wouldn’t be able to do much anyways! He can manage to do rice and a curry (from a jar) if I don’t feel like cooking, and I appreciate that.

    He also helps with the dishes often after dinner, so that is a bonus! It balances out.

    Post # 55
    1953 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My husband’s a chef. I nearly burned down my house when I was 11, making 2 minute noodles. If my husband’s out I’ll put something in the oven, but I don’t actually cook very much at all.

    Post # 56
    316 posts
    Helper bee

    Heck No!  I do a lot of the cooking because my boyfriend works funky hours, but he is a chef and there is no way he gets away with never cooking.  He hates cooking at home since he does it for a living, but I hate cooking for him since he does it for a living.  It is intimidating to cook for him and I get so self-concious about it.  We have been together just over 3 years and my cooking hasn’t scared him off yet, so I guess I manage.  

    I do all the dishes though… and that really gets on my nerves.  

    Post # 57
    2514 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    @Jewelieee:  I do the bulk of the cooking.  Before he broke his arm I did 5 nights, he did 1 and we’d go out/have a dinner invite/order in on the last night.  Recently he’d been cooking more than that because he wants to learn.  Basically I’d call directions to him from the couch. ๐Ÿ˜›  


    Post # 58
    841 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @Jewelieee:  We don’t live together yet but when we do I assume I’ll do the majority of the cooking, I enjoy it and I’m better at it than him. He’ll have jobs that will be mainly his too, like taking out the garbage (I hope lol, I hate that job). He definitely has cooked for me before though, like he made us our own whole Christmas dinner once when I was at work and surprised me when I got home (he was visiting during his vacation time). So I know he’s able and will help sometimes.

    Post # 59
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We both cook. We both work full-time and we have an 11 month old son, so after work we like to hang out with our son until he goes to bed, and then depending on how we feel, one of us will cook, we’ll cook together, we’ll order in, or we’ll just eat whatever (some nights, I’m fine with a bowl of cereal for dinner).  

    Post # 60
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    @annb9:  I hear you. I sometime hate having to cook but if OH cooked I’d have twice the amount of washing up!

    Right now OH pulls in ALL the money for everything we need so I’ve gone part-time. I do all the housework because he litterally works all day long, we could be sat in bed and he’s on his laptop doing some sort of work! It can get annoying but I know he’s working hard so we can have the best possible future.

    Post # 61
    766 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Jewelieee:  I do most of the housework in general in my relationship. If Fiance doesn’t see the dust, he assumes it must not exist. Similarly, left to his own devices he’ll only do the dishes if there are no clean ones left and he’s run out of paper plates or paper towels to use (or if I insist). I also cook for him a lot of the time (unless he wants to eat meat– I’m a vegetarian and will not cook it for him because it’s gross to me). Sometimes this dynamic frustrates me. At the same time, he deals with trash, clogged plumbing, animal messes (we have two dogs and a bird), and other grosser household tasks. So if he’s willing to do the stuff I hate so much, I figure it’s a fair trade if I do almost all of the cleaning and cooking. 

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