Post # 1
Ive been thinking a lot about this lately and was wondering if anyone else here has felt the way I do. For obvious reasons, I can’t ask my friends in real life. But do any of you like completely DREAD hanging out with friends?
Its kinda weird. The day we make plans, I get kind of excited. But then the day we’re supposed to hang out gets here and as soon as I remember that I have plans with so and so later, my first thought is “ahh f***”. It feels like a chore. Like an extra thing to get accomplished for the day. It’s not like I’m an extremely busy girl or anything, I would just rather be at home doing something I enjoy.
I was starting to think that part of it was because we’d usually do the same things, no matter what friend it was. Dinner/coffee/movie. So I switched things up and tried to do different things. Casino/bar/my house/the gym for some of exercise class. Nope, still would rather be doing my own thing. Even when Darling Husband is out of town for work, I’d rather either hang with my family or just go home and do whatever I want on my own time.
I also don’t really have an interest in my friends lives anymore. They either talk about work or school and I find myself tuning out. Once my Darling Husband said something like “oh I see your friend X got a new job. She just posted that she quit her old one on Facebook.” I said “oh yeah she did mention that” and he asked where she’s going to be working and I had no clue. I do remember her saying she was quitting because she got a new job elsewhere but that must have been a part of when I tuned her out. My other friend is having a baby. I had no memory of when she was due, so in order to figure it out I had to go back through Facebook to see when she first posted that she was 3 months along. I don’t zone out on purpose, I’m just literally not interested.
I just don’t know how to deal with it. As soon as a friend or coworker asks me to hang out, my first thought is to scramble to think of something – anything – else that I have going on. And it’s not just friends I’ve had for years. I could meet a new friend, get along well for a while, and then out of nowhere I just lose interest. If one of these friends were to call me tomorrow and say they don’t want to be friends anymore, I honestly don’t think I would care. It would be more of an “oh well” attitude. Am I the only one who feels this way??
Post # 2
I’m pretty introverted so I understand what you mean. Although I still make an effort to talk with them weekly.
Post # 3
I admit there are definitely times I’d much rather be at home, but I love spending time with my friends. I work so much during the week that a nice weekend lunch, pedicure, patio sit with one of my girlfriends is always a great change!
Maybe you’re just more of an introvert, or need new friends that you are interested in.
Honestly, I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who has “no interest” in my life. Not trying to be snarky or anything, just the truth.
Post # 4
you sound like a homebody which isn’t healthy… I think you should get out and see your friends sometimes it helps with maintaining your friendship.. I love seeing my friends and I like having a girls night out.. My fiances friend’s wife is sorta being anti social not involved in things and expects her husband to stay home with her 24/7 and she gets pissed when he goes out with his friends mean while she got an invitation to go but refuses to be any kind of social…. I would just try not to let things get to that point because it can damper your relationship.. I just don’t think its a good thing avoiding your friends and wanting to stay home.. But to each there own….
Post # 5
VintageGirl1020: My fiances wife? Can you explain that?
Post # 6
woops error my fiances friends wife!!!! typo!!! lol
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I’m the same way. It’s not that I dislike hanging out with my friends, I just like hanging out at home doing my own thing better. I’m very much a homebody and I’ve been that way since high school (in my early 30’s now). My close friends have all known me for at least 10-20 years, so it isn’t new to them and they don’t take it personally. I’m just not someone who enjoys being out all the time. I do try to go out with my friends at least 2-3 times a month, but I generally like to be home way more.
Post # 8
I dont think it’s necessarily unhealthy to be a homebody. Maybe you are outgrowing your friends. Or maybe your interests are changing. Is this normal for you? Have you always been this way or were you really social before?
Post # 9
I could have pretty much written this post verbatim. It’s probably either an unhealthy manifestation of some sort of phychological issue or maybe just a character flaw. In either case …meh. I think maybe I’m just a douche, but I’m ok with it.
Post # 10
VintageGirl1020: I was trying to figure out how your Fiance could have a wife.
Post # 11
As long as your okay with your husband having friends and don’t disattach friendships that has with his friends i think its fine but he may feel bad leaving you to be with his friends so its a catch 22…..
Post # 12
I can relate with not being excited about plans. For me it comes down to having a limited amount of energy. In college I loved hanging out with friends every night but now after a long day at work I just want to go home and put on my sweatpants. As an introvert even talking on the phone at night is draining for me.
Post # 13
julies1949: haha totally!! no worries I always seem to make typos on there and im like XD!!! woops!!! i fixed it! thanks for pointing it out i would have not noticed till later haha
Post # 14
I have a friend who acts kind of like how you described. I don’t really try too hard to keep in touch with her anymore. I have plenty of real friends who I love to keep in touch with and spend time with! I agree with PP, maybe you’re just super introverted. But you also sound kind of rude. Do those friends of yours a favor and stop pretending to care. Just be honest! Say, “Sorry I’d rather just stay in today.” You aren’t doing anyone a favor by pretending to give 2 shits about anything to do with them.
Post # 15
I like seeing my friends on occasion but i don’t completely avoid them when they ask to do something… I see them maybe once every other week which is a lot less than what i use to see them when i was in my early 20’s but I don’t ever dread it….