anonymousbee12321: I feel the same exact way. I love the idea of plans, making plans, getting all worked up for them, but then the day of, its like “ugh, why did I make these?” I’m very introverted and I have social anxiety, so I know all of that factors in (social anxiety so bad that I always think people are mad at me… including my mom and Fiance. I even ask them that all the time because I just “feel” it).
I think lately I’ve also not felt as excited to hang out with friends just because I seem to be in a different life place than most (I have three best friends who we’ve all been best friends since middle school). Two are married with two kids each (and the other also has two stepkids) and the other has a daughter and is in the middle of a divorce. While I have been married and divorced before, I just don’t feel all on the same page with them and so its hard to get excited about what they’re excited about (kids birthday parties) while curbing my excitement (wedding planning) since they’ve all been there (and I don’t want to approach the topic with someone getting a divorce… rude and hurtful as I’ve been there). Maybe its also because Fiance works SO much out of state and so even if I do go out, it’s 99% of the time alone because he’s gone, so its the anxiety of always being the odd one out (3rd, 5th, 7th, etc, wheel).
I talk to my friends a lot though, and so even though I don’t go out much, I’m talking to one or the other almost every day at least.
When I was younger (as in middle school/high school age) I always felt left out. I was the only one of my close group not to have a boyfriend, or drive, or have an afterschool job) [my parents werey VERY strict about all that, except the boyfriend part, which didn’t happen until senior year] and then they all moved on their ways, out of town colleges, etc and I stayed put because, as I said, I felt so behind. I didn’t get to do college days, or any of that stuff because I didn’t know what I was supposed to, and being so socially anxious [except I didn’t know what it was calleda t the time] I was afraid to ask for help… even from teachers or school counselors because I was afraid of being judged]. I stayed local, went to community college and then later earned by B.A. online (which all in all was great) but I felt like I had missed vital parts of my life because I was scared to branch out.
I’ve REALLY been working on it lately though.
I know that got way off topic, but it sounds in part thats what this is. Not the anxiety part, but maybe just being in diffrent areas of life with people?
And I can understand the new job, having a baby, etc because I’ve been there too. It seems (which is the key word) that its all exciting (yay!) for all these to take place, but when I do it, get a new job, or got engaged, etc, it was all “oh, well when I….” and they’d launch into theirs and it suddenly became not fun to tell them because I just once wanted someone to share in some excitement with me.
Then I started hanging out with a couple people who are younger than me and haven’t hit those milestones and it clicked… and in the end made me value my friendship with the others more and now we’ve been working on it.
So maybe that is some of the case?