Post # 1
We’ve been together four years in January, own our own home with our own adorable rescue dog. He knows how much I want to get engaged. We’ve been to Venice this Summer, nothing. Just got back from a road trip in Ireland attending ANOTHER one of his friends weddings, nothing. Both nearly 30. I know he isn’t planning anything.
Is anyone else dreading another Christmas of hoping and being disappointed?!! I cried secretly to myself last year because I was hoping it would happen and it didn’t. I know this year will be exactly the same. Let’s form a safe space of waiting bees who feel extra angsty over the Christmas period!!
Post # 2
Have you guys talked about an engagement and time lines?
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Yep, been there…all that helped was having a really frank conversation. My subtle hints weren’t getting me anywhere, as soon as I told him how much it hurt me he got his shit together and proposed once the ring arrived a couple of months later. For him he says it was just “so obvious”, like of course he only wants to be with me and we’re going to get married…he never really thought about the timeline. Sometimes guys are just like that. Our talk didn’t make him feel pushed into doing anything, I know it would have happened eventually, but I think him realising that it made me sad is what made the difference. We are now happily married and he says we shoulda done this a long time ago smh. Talk to him!!
Post # 4
I’m dreading Christmas as well. It’ll be 6 years by Christmas and we’re spending the holiday in Rome, Italy. I’m hoping it happens but I don’t want to get my hopes up.
Post # 5
I don’t dread it, but I have a niece and a nephew, twins, 30, who each have a paramour they have been with several years, and I hope every Christmas that this will be the one they both get engaged.
The guys just don’t realize the angst they are putting this old Auntie through! JK. My nephew won’t find a girl as good as the one he is with now, I hope he doesn’t lose her. I think my niece would like to get engaged too, and I don’t get the holdup.
Post # 6
I’m going to again… tonight!!
Post # 7
Hmm, I opened up this post thinking someone was actually disliking Xmas because it could get lonely without family and friends, etc., but instead it’s a thread about waiting for an engagement. I didn’t even know people normally proposed over Xmas. I thought they normally did it on vacations.
Anyway, have you spoken to him about this? If he knows how much you want to get engaged, what’s his side of the story?
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
Try telling him your expectation’s. Maybe he doesn’t know how you feel. Don’t let not getting engaged on a holiday ruin it for you. When it happens it going to happen.
Post # 9
Take control of your life and stop putting it all on him. Both of your actions show the other person your intent. You chose to buy a house with him and share a dog with no engagement or marriage. That shows him that you had no expectation of it. In your head you’re thinking that him doing those things with you means that he should want to get married. There’s no communication here and you’re stewing over something you haven’t even made clear.
Post # 10
Backing you up on this. Women don’t realize that men don’t see moving in a step towards marriage. They just see it as moving in. Communication is key before making huge decisions like that.
Post # 11
DoubleD : phillygirl93 :
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
Agree with you guys on this as well. You cannot expect for engagement to be the next logical step if you haven’t talked about it being the next step.
And this is so spot on! Most men don’t think about marriage nearly as much as women. And they need to be hit over the head with obviousness. Men don’t pick up on little signals!
My sister was wanting to get engaged and she felt she was waiting a little too long. She talked to her boyfriend about it and he though people got married a few months after an engagement and that’s why he didn’t propose…so needless to say they’re engaged now and planning for a 2020 wedding.
Post # 12
I am feeling the same way as OP. We have talked about an engagement in “late 2018” so Christmas is an obvious possibility. plus, I think he would like to be with family soon after to celebrate.
I am actually it a little disappointed it didn’t happen over Thanksgiving this week, for those same reasons. We are using an heirloom diamond and the trip we took home this week would have been an obvious time to pick it up, but I am 99% confident he didn’t get it.
I am trying so hard to just relax and enjoy how great things are right now, but I am so impatient!
Post # 13
bosbaebee : bosbaebee :
Oh you poor thing, it’s such a horrible feeling isn’t it! And when there’s already so much pressure to have the most fun, perfect time on these dates it makes it much worse. I find Christmas especially difficult as I don’t have any family to spend it with, having to go to my partners parents whether I like it or not. Luckily I love them, but I still always feel that sadness throughout December and overall more sensitive/emotional. Whatever happens, we will be fine. We will be more than fine. What’s going to happen will happen whether we worry about it or not, so let’s focus on some self-care and looking after ourselves instead 🙂 (PS I was given a “we’ll be engaged within six months” which is very exciting so we’ll see what happens!).
Post # 14
Last year I couldn’t handle the waiting anymore. I proposed to my boyfriend of 3 years under the Christmas tree. He was thrilled, he said yes. We are married now.
Don’t wait around. Either have an honest conversation or just propose to him.
Post # 15
This is absolutely magical 😍