(Closed) Anyone Else Ever Feel Like They Should Just Elope?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
979 posts
Busy bee

SO and I talked about that when we decide to get married.  Just us, our kids, and immediate family – then just a party afterwards. We don’t want to spend money on a wedding.  I’m a pro wedding photographer and I work a lot of weddings a year, and I see a lot of money that people put into a wedding and I’m like “why?”…..LOL

 

Post # 5
Member
4948 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I did elope! Just the two of us! It was awesome.

There’s nothing wrong with eloping (just the 2 of you) or even having an intimate wedding (just a few close friends/family). I think sometimes weddings get bigger than the couple getting married, and it takes over and sort of overshadows the reason behind it.

Think about it for a bit. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1185 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I did!

Post # 7
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Why not both?

My husband and I had a Justice of the Peace wedding. The license was 50 dollars, the JoP fee was 75 (My father gave him 100 to cover a tip) and that was it.

My little dress I found on Amazon for 15 dollars and my husband wore things he already had. We got married in our living room next to our tree.

We’re having our “formal” wedding in June and it will be a small family/friends only event. Way cuts down on the costs.

Post # 8
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yes! I also just think about eloping. For other reasons tho. I’m having so much drama with my mom and I just don’t want her to be a part of anything. I would just rather elope and get it over with. Then I think about all the money and hassel it would save us too. Fiance wants to have a small wedding tho. At this point, he’s more excited than I am. I can’t enjoy it the same with my mom and I not getting along. 

Post # 9
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This will be my second marriage and second elopement. The first time we went to the courthouse. I never regretted anything except that I had no pictures (and obviously the man I chose to marry). This time around (first of all I have the right guy!) we still keeping it small but no courthouse (well it used to be a courthouse now is an hisrorucal event space) since we want a religious  ceremony and want to include his kids. There will be a photographer and a white dress.  If there are any guests it will be our parents (maybe siblings) but honestly I’ve never regretted not having then present the last time. 

I say all that to say do what you want if you want a wedding have it! Just take a deep breath and a few days break from all the plannin.  Then go back to it keeping in mind it’s just a day that you want to spend with your friends and family while committing to the man you love. Don’t care about a garter toss-scratch it, don’t want a grooms cake- nix, bridal party more troublesome than helpful – cut em!

ETA Im also 32 and this is both of our second marriages. So that’s a factor for us. But I was 24 the first go round. 

Post # 10
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would totally elope, but that would ruin our family’s lives lol

Post # 12
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We had a JOP wedding ahead of our upcoming-in-ten-days wedding in India back in October. This is because you cannot get married in Goa by the Hindu priests unless you show evidence of a registered marriage. I wish we had quit while we were ahead, put the cash towards a downpayment and a once-in-a-lifetime vacation, like traveling through Southeast Asia or Australia or Europe.

Instead our wedding has been a planning nightmare of enormous proportions, caused tension in our relationship, stressed both of us out and my parents are absolutely furious at my in-laws and about to explode. I don’t want to go into details, but it seems like everyone is flying out for India resentfully, including me. I am sad and I should have known which way this would go. We are from 2 entirely different cultures in India and the expectations from his side are that my family should subsidize his at any cost. Because my husband has his own POV he has not allowed that to happen, but my parents have paid for the majority of this exorbitant wedding and my husband has also contributed. 

At this point I am just trying to salvage what enjoyment I can from the experience. Pretty sad considering how much money has been spent by my parents and my husband. I am still happy that I am getting married in the eyes of our Gods, but we could have done that at a simple temple ceremony without having the big party.

Spitefully, I’d like to note that my husband’s parents have spent ZERO. 

Post # 13
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would make the kind of wedding you want but with a really small group, like, let’s say, immediate family, closest friends and that’s all. you can still wear tou wedding dress, have a cake, small band or dj, less booze, less dinner plates and decor, and you will live the experience of a traditional wedding without the extra money spent and the stress.

If the people there are close to you, little details won’t count, like if the music goes worng, if the cake gets ruined, you name it, you will only laugh about it and really enjoy your day.

I always wanted that for me, always, we two have big families and a lot of friends, so I always thought about a 100 people wedding at my in laws backyard with a lot of candles.

Now it’s out of control and the list is up to 350 guests… you can imagine the rest. I hired a wedding planner when I noticed I couldn’t do it myself and I’m more relaxed, I only care about the guy I will marry, and to have pictures to remember us forever, the rest is meaningless.

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