(Closed) Anyone else ever wish FI was more romantic? How does he show his affection?

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I daydream about coming home to freshly washed and laundered sheets, a glass of wine, a clean house. You know, “honey, I took care of everything, relax with me!”

Since DH will be unemployed when he gets out of the Army, i’ve been dropping lots of not so subtle hints telling him what his “new job” is as my “house husband”. I figure if i’m the one with the job and taking classes and he’s not, he can take care of me =P.

When he was at work Monday I did his laundry for him AND cleaned his room. I felt compelled by the mess! Boy i wish men had that drive =]

Post # 18
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My boy toy is a man’s man too. And, because we really are best friends, he feels like he can treat me like one of the guys sometimes. Something I always found endearing.

But, as soon as we got engaged I got RGE (Romantic Guy Envy). I think the nervousness is just facing the fact that you are going to spend the rest of your life with this man. 60+ years of “Goodfellas,” engine grease, grunting, beef jerky, and romantic gestures like telling me it’s my night to pick which of the “Godfathers” we watch. *swoon*

Like everyone else said, those types of guys show their love in different ways. As soon as we identify those gestures, we’ll feel better. And, do I really need rose petals to the bedroom that I would just have to vacuum up later?

Post # 19
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Fiance isn’t overly romantic in the way of gifts (not that I need gifts), but he does tend spoil me with attention (a lot of the time). The only real thing I have to complain about is when he gets to my house the night before his days off, he usually jumps right on his computer and starts gaming. Kind of annoying if I’m doing something and don’t even know that he’s been there for an hour already.

But we do spend our day off each week together and he is really sweet and romantic when we’re alone. He’ll send me texts and kiss emoticons (sp?) randomly too. πŸ™‚

Post # 20
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My guy is so rarely romantic it is insanely frustrating. The only time he does anything remotely romantic is when I bug him so much about it that he just does something to make me stop nagging him. Why is it so hard for guys?!!!?? I tell him exactly what to do and he still can’t. Makes no sense to me. I wish life were more like movies! That would be perfect!

Post # 21
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my hubby is not romantic but ive learnt its not about romance and flowers with him.

ive mentioned in another thread he has walked around the neighbourhood in the dark & rain looking for me one night. another time we were at a party and some guy said something to me sexually and i was shocked by how fired up he got about “protecting his woman” because in reality i can take care of myself and him without thinking about it.  last year we went away for my birthday and he arranged a birthday cake to be made especially for me – amazing considering we were on a very small island with a total of 8 people and it didnt even have running electricity or drinking water.

 

 

Post # 22
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh, i loooove getting really random/sweet text messages from him during the day. He’s really good about that. They just make my day and are the most heartfelt things.

Post # 23
Member
5992 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

omg… i would be happy for more than a 1 character resonse from him when i do text him!

i give him this big text and he answers back  “K”

not at all romantic i tell you!

Post # 24
Member
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Circus Peanut -I have Romantic Guy. While I love him dearly and am marrying him, I will tell you that sometimes, I have Manly Man envy. So, it goes both ways. Mine is so romantic that the day he proposed was Valentine;s Day and I had no clue that something was up even though: he made me breakfast in bed, had a surprise massage booked for me at a fancy spa, had choc. covered strawberries and champagne when we got home, flowers, etc because I thought it was just like a normal Valentine’s Day! (Sometimes I really can be clueless???) But, sometimes, I want some of the things you have with Manly Man. No one can be all things at all times. We are marrying our guys becaue we love them and they love us; because of, and in spite of, who we are.

Post # 25
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

this is funny but my guy is not romantic whatsoever, yes he expects me to be, it’s weird. And I’m horrible at showing much emotion, I come off as a cold hearted b*tch most of the time. So I’ve at least started this list of writing down at least one thing a day that he did that was nice or why I’m thankful he’s in my life, I hope he enjoys it!

Post # 27
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yeah, I have RGE sometimes. He hasn’t said he loves me but he does help me with my resume, fix my computer, set up a wireless network in our apartment (and named it after me lol), and snuggle and give me back massages. So I think, from the little bit of the 5 love languages, he’s probably not the verbal type… But I think he’ll tell me when he’s ready. His family is not at all the verbal type. His parents have told them they love him like twice in his life… So for me, it’s so weird because my parents tell me everyday. But I can’t help but wish he’d say it! And buy more flowers, and maybe write a poem… πŸ™‚

Post # 28
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Sometimes, I wish my Fiance was more romantic, but I am much more thankful for all his great qualities and the awesome relationship we have. I can always count on him, he loves me and wants to be with me everyday. I have had more romantic boyfriends, but my Fiance was the one that proposed!

Post # 29
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I used to feel the same way. My ex and I would never hold hands and such in public, and he was just a gamer. It sucked. But my bf now, is very touchy feely (in stores even, I have DDD and his hand always seems to be within an inch of them, lol) and he is a manly man as well. But I have always found them attractive. White t-shirts, working on cars and drinking beers. I thought it was sexy when I couldn’t open the pickle jar and HE could! πŸ™‚ But even though he doesn’t really do anything romantice like I have always wanted, I HAVE found to be appreciative and take certain things as being romantic. Like when he thinks of me, and buys me a pack of smokes, or a pop from the store cuz he knew I would be thirsty. Or he sees that I enjoy fishing with him, but only bottom fishing, and even though he knows the only places around us are full of baby fish on the bottom, he still wastes his whole day there (instead of going out and possibly catching some good eating) just so I could enjoy myself, while he LOVES fishing. So it’s the little things that really mean a lot, and I have learned to notice them. πŸ™‚ Like how he knew when we were walking through walmart and I said I needed girly things, which ones to grab. He got the SUPER PLUS MEGA GIANORMOUS COSTCO-SIZE pack of tampons, lol. The exact ones I would have grabbed. πŸ™‚

Little things like that make it worth it. πŸ™‚

Post # 30
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

my fiance is a bit too affectionate smetimes I need to control him

hes very romantic no problem there he flew all the way from europe to surprise me when i has having a bad day

Post # 31
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception

My Fiance is a total mush. He cries a LOT, is SUPER sentimental and nostalgic, loves being affectionate, tells me how much he loves me all the time, all that kind of stuff. He is super communicative about his feelings, too. So, he’s definitely Romantic Guy and I totally appreciate and love that about him.

However. I have definitely have had a lot of incidents like, “what, do I have to BEG you to help me out around the house occasionally? do I have to actually scream and cry in order for you to stop playing video games and assist in cleaning up the giant mess in the kitchen which is 75% yours?” or “I just finished cleaning up the house and you came home from work and threw your stuff all over the place!”

So, nobody is perfect, and nobody can be 100% compatible with our needs and wants. I sympathize!

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