(Closed) Anyone else ever wish FI was more romantic? How does he show his affection?

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

my bf is kind of a cross between being a man’s man and being a big softy.  he won’t watch romantic comedies or “chick flicks” with me…EVER. only movies like the godfather or stupid boy humor movies.  he never writes cards or says anything romantic to me…usually “wraps” any presents he gets me in a blanket that he found laying on the floor, and is super stubborn/reluctant to celebrating things like valentine’s day and anniversaries (i win. we celebrate. haha…i really don’t ask for much).  at the same time, he constantly does things to surprise me….like sending flowers to my work or just stopping by the florist on his way home for no reason to pick up “just because flowers” (he was extra cute one time: “i didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked so i just asked for ‘forever daisies’ and the florist added other stuff too’.) he also just surprised me by telling me that he is taking me to see the ballet on saturday (no reason…just for fun). He snuggles me all the time, holds my hand, picks me up and lifts me over/off of curbs, and always tells me that he loves me.  so i guess he’s both. some days he is a total man’s man and then sometimes he just suprises me : ]

Post # 48
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My SO sounds a lot like yours. The worst part for me was that he was romantic for the first 6 months of our relationship. It was his first real relationship and he pretty much used tv/movies to educate him on how romance ‘should’ be done. That got old quickly for him, as it does for most of us when we’re forcing ourselves to act a certain way. That was really hard for me, because I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t just keep doing those romantic things.

But then I figured it out…my SO IS romantic…just not in the way I think he should be. He cleans off my car when it snows. He takes out my trash when he notices I’ve been hoarding it on the deck. He cleans my drains when he notices a clog. He rushes to my aid when I have a flat tire. Those are my SO’s ways of showing me he loves me…so when you think about it, it’s really quite romantic.

When it comes to the other stuff, I have to be slightly more pushy about it. For Valentine’s Day: “Hey, honey, I would love some flowers or something mushy like that please :)” and sure enough, that’s what I got.

Post # 49
5155 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I would say my husband is a bigger romantic than me. I’m the one who did not want pictures of us frolicking through leaves, ha ha.

He loves to snuggle and hold hands when we are walking, to buy me flowers, to write lovely cards, to send me little texts just to let me know he is thinking of me, to give me foot massages and just to talk to me and tell me how he feels about me, or life in general. He is very emotionally self-aware and in tune. He enjoys celebrating our anniversaries and so on, and gets very sentimental about certain things (a song that reminds him of us, or the place we married, and so on). And he cleans the bathroom, now that is romantic, ha ha! Oh, and he actually planned our wedding, and had tons of super romantic little ideas.

He is much bigger on spending time with me and talking, than he is on gift giving though!

He also really appreciates it in return though. He gets incredibly excited when I do little things for him, like buy him flowers or one of his favourite treats, or write a nice card, or just go up to him and randomly snuggle him. He gets visibly excited at ANY affection in any format, ha ha. I joke that his love language (we have both read the book) is “affection/attention of any kind” and that mine is “foot rubs”. Wink

My husband is pretty diverse, and that is one of the reasons I love him. I do not identify him as either “romantic guy” or “man’s man”. He just is who he is and who he is embraces many aspects! He loves Godfather II, but then also will get teary at a Michael Buble song. He can shoot up zombies in a videogame and nerd out with me on the Walking Dead, but will also write me lovely cards or bake me a surprise cake for my birthday. He spent many years in the military, many of them being what would be considered a “man’s man” but he has no problem getting mushy and being totally vulnerable with me. He’s just who he is and does not worry too much about what others think or what he should do, and I love that about him.



Post # 50
105 posts
Blushing bee

Had to respond to this thread. I have a very manly man. Last night, I was wishing he was more romantic. Today, on a walk, I asked him if he thought we were going to be awesome together as husband and wife. (We marry in four months.) He said, “Yes. Yes, I do. I think we were kinda made for each other.” Teared up a little at that one. 🙂

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