RSVPs didn’t bother me at the time. What is bothering me now is that in the past two weeks, six people have canceled. One let me know as soon as she found out she wouldn’t be able to make it. And, to be honest, I was fairly sure she wouldn’t be coming because of some bad blood between her and my grandparents. I understand the reasons and don’t hold it against her at all. I’m disappointed that I won’t be seeing her, but I understand why. So, her and her husband — first two.
The second is one of the fiancé’s friends. I like her well enough, but she is easily one of the flakiest people I have ever met. She RSVPd back in the beginning and was even going to bring our cake up that day because the bakery was right by her. Very sweet, all of it, but I just…had a feeling. And sure enough, a few days ago she let the fiancé know that she wouldn’t be able to make it. And she also told him that she’s known for about a month, but never got around to telling him. Now, she has very good reasons for not being able to make it. I would never deny that. But she’s known for a month. She’s known for the entire time that it wasn’t that she MIGHT not be able to make it, but that she for sure, 100% couldn’t make it. She told him (two weeks after the fact) that this was why she couldn’t come to the surprise shower my mom threw for me. But she didn’t bother to tell my mom that she couldn’t make it, never mind the reasons why. A simple no would have been nice, instead of leaving her hanging, stressing about whether anyone would show up. So her + her fiancé = next set of two.
The last one is the fiancé’s dad and stepmom. They said they’d be here. Then we had a question for them and the dad texted saying, “We won’t be able to make it. We wish you lots of happiness, but we won’t be there.” When the fiancé followed up, asking why he hadn’t told us sooner, the answer was, “I didn’t think it mattered.”
Six may not seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things, but we only had 25 in the first place. I would have had absolutely no problem if any of these folks said no from the start, or if the second friend had told us right away that she couldn’t make it, but I don’t appreciate being thought so little of that four of those six didn’t even bother, knowing that our wedding is quite small, that we only invited people that we really wanted to be here, etc. I get that our wedding isn’t important to other people in the same way. I know that, I understand it, I respect that. But how about the common respect and decency to me, to my fiancé. As people. As people who were counting on them being here.
Sigh. Anyway. I’m really not angry about it. It’s just obnoxious behavior. I’m sorry that you’re already getting irritated over the RSVPs and it’s only just begun for you! Good luck with all of it!