(Closed) Anyone else experience ageism after getting engaged?

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 32
Member
513 posts
Busy bee

I’m 23, will be 25 when we get married. Everyone has been supportive, except the sales lady at the store where my engagement ring came from! She talked down to me when I brought it in to be re-sized, and called my ring “cute.” Um, my ring isn’t cute thank you very much.

 

I noticed her ring finger was bare and chalked it up to jealousy, lol.

Post # 33
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would never tell someone they are too young to get married…unless it’s my own daughter coming to me at 19…haha.

BUT I admit I do think that when I see girls that young wanting to be married. That is only b/c I think to myself at those ages, and know that I was in no way prepared to be married! Growing up, I always assumed I’d be married and having babies by the time I was 23…but when I think of how I was at 23…HA! 

I think people try to discourage ‘younger’ girls from getting married b/c they are bringing their personal lives into their advice, which is fine, but it can get blown out of proportion b/c you can’t expect everyone to be the same.

Also, it’s really easy to be critical on the internet…I’m sure lots of Bees are wonderful, friendly people in real life, but they hide behind a user name to get their snark out.

Post # 34
Member
3173 posts
Sugar bee

I come from a culture where girls can get married as young as 12 years old after knowing their “husband” for just a few weeks. Even with that, my mom told me not to rush into things and that their are plenty of men out there even though I am 27 and have been dating my fiance for almost 5 years. Of course,  her opinion comes more from closed mindedness and racism than for care of my well being.

Post # 35
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I feel like I would have gotten that a few years ago from a lot of the women I work with, however I am 27 and getting married in October and everyone has been saying, “oh thats the perfect age!” We could have gotten married years ago – we have been  together for 12 years, but for me I always knew it was going to be him and in my mind what difference does it make if we got married at 22 or 27 if either way we’re together in the end anyway? We already own a home together and have lived together for the past 6 years. We opted to buy our house and take a couple of month-long trips to Europe rather than get married sooner and pay for a wedding. That being said, I don’t think anyone can generally tell you that you’re too young to get married. Everyone is different with different backgrounds, experiences, maturity levels and desires in life. A friend of mine got married while still in college and had a baby soon after graduating. Five years later and she could not be happier with her marriage or life at this moment.

 

I think a lot of people really do have good intentions when they make the comments of, “you’re so young, why not wait?, if it doesn’t work out…etc” Seems like every other person is divorced or has been divorced these days. It is so easy to end a marriage and a lot of people rush into things because they know that there is an out if necessary. Most people just don’t try anymore and learn their lessons afterward. It is typically the people that made the mistakes that seem hesitant about younger people committing to marriage. From their perspective you can’t really blame them. I still wouldn’t want to hear it though 🙂

Post # 36
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@joya_aspera:  Some people just take it to far, early thirties seems perfectly average to be getting married!

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