Post # 17
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
YES! I get this all the time hahaha, you hit the nail on the head! So annoying.
Lesson I learned early on: TELL NO ONE ANYTHING!!!
My favorite phrase when people ask about details… “Oh, we haven’t decided on that yet.”
Post # 18
The only reason I don’t get that version of this trope is because I try very hard to avoid talking about people to other people. In all things, I mean, but especially wedding. I’m not being nice. I just don’t need their mutual bullsh*t.
Post # 19
My mom has made soooo many comments about things I wanted.
Like the colors. Black. Ivory. With hints of hot pink/fuschia. She doesn’t like the black. Okay well, good for you, lady!
She didn’t like the bouquets I picked out. Calla lillies/roses. She likes carnations. Not my problem!
I wanted to do cute and funky socks [for the younger guests], with a tag that says, “Love is like a pair of socks. You gotta have 2, and they’ve gotta match!”. She didn’t like that idea. Couple months later she admitted that she turned it down, not because it was bad, but because it was really cute and she was jealous of my creativity. Wow.
I just stopped talking to her about things. She doesn’t really support anything I want to do.. nor is she paying for it, so she has no say.
Post # 20
Lawl, hypocrites anon.
Aw… don’t listen to X. You’re the bride, and you should do whatever you want. It’s your wedding, right?
“Aw, thanks guest… I’m the bride and D really makes me happy, although it seems to super horrify you. I’m glad you had the presence of mind to agree with my wedding earlier enough for that to not be an issue.” *super sweet smile*
Post # 21
I’ve always found myself trying to defend what we’re doing and how we’re doing it, but lately I haven’t given a crap as to what anyone else thinks. Partly because it’s getting closer and I haven’t got the time or patience to change anything, and partly because it’s OUR day and we will do it how WE want to.
For example (on discussing the reception at our destination wedding):
Future Mother-In-Law – What are we doing for the reception?
ME – We’re not having a proper reception. We just want to make a group booking at a restaurant and keep it low-key. We can have a backyard reception when we get back home.
Future Mother-In-Law – So you’re not having a reception in Rarotonga?
ME – No. We can have a backyard reception when we get back home.
Future Mother-In-Law – Why?
ME – Not many people. Not worth it. Keeping it low-key.
Future Mother-In-Law – So, no reception in Rarotonga?
ME – No. We just want to make a group booking at a restaurant and keep it low-key
Future Mother-In-Law – Oh, okay *Rolls eyes*
Post # 22
I think it’s partly an issue of who is doing the complaining, as well. If it’s someone I’m close to, like my Dad, I find it really easy to just say no. For example, he told me that he felt strongly that I shouldn’t have a free bar, because it would encourage people to get drunk, which was inappropriate for a family occasion.
I simply told him that my venue wasn’t licensed, that people would expect some sort of bar, and that it would have to be a free bar because we can’t sell alcohol there. Moreover, as we are only serving beer (and champagne and wine with the meal, but not afterwards), and anyone who wants anything other than beer during the party will have to bring a bottle (I don’t think this is bad etiquette, because they would have to spend a lot more on alcohol if it were a pay bar, and free bars are incredibly rare in the UK). This would prevent drunkenness.
I brought out the big guns: “I’m sorry if you feel that way, Dad, but Fiance and I have decided that it is important to us to offer this as part of our hospitality… etc etc”.
Problem solved! The issue is dealing with objections from people that you are less close to, and whom you have more of an issue telling them to **** off (in the nicest possible way, but people still get the gist of what you are saying, even if you are super polite).
Post # 23
Ugh, I think all brides face this! And sometimes from those you least expect it from.
As mentioned by many others, I initially was happy to discuss all my cool ideas and research with all friends and family. Until we started getting resistance and people thinking we were opening the floor to debate some of our decisions. To top if off my Future Sister-In-Law got an engagement ring very similar to mine and it was done.
Now I like to use the “our planner is deciding that, but I’ll let her know” or just smiling and nodding. I’ve only had to pull the “NO” out a few times.