Post # 1
Does anyone else have momentary feelings of guilt regarding the items on their registries?
This is my 2nd wedding, his first. Our invite list is around 165 people and we’ve lived together for 3 months.
We registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond, Target, and added a few things on an Amazon.com registry as well.
In total, it’s 101 items… I feel like every couple of days I go and delete things that I decide we don’t need, and try and find more things to delete.
Then a little while later I’ll remember that we’re not forcing people to buy these things, and they can gift us with whatever they’d like and I shouldn’t feel bad about it.
Just because we’re over 30 and I’ve been married doesn’t mean I don’t need sheets and towels and dinnerware.
Right? 🙂 Am I the only one who goes back and forth on this in her mind?
Post # 3
yes you are not alone. i edit constantly to make sure we will use any items people may choose to buy. trying to remind myself although i wouldnt necessarily treat myself at this time, that the items will be used in our lives. and that there is a variety for people to choose.
Post # 4
I am guilty for having a registry, but it’s worse to run out of stuff on it and then get weird crap for wedding presents. This is his first wedding, right? Don’t delete stuff you two put on there together.
Post # 5
I am in the same boat you are. I started a registry at JCPenney for my family since they live by one, and we’re going to start a Wal-mart registry for his family, who only have access to a Wal-mart because of their location. I started the JCP registry, and found that I was adding everything!!! This is because we live together, but with my mom for the time being, and we are looking to move out by September, meaning that we really are going to need EVERYTHING! I do feel guilty, because I feel like we’re being needy, but we really do need a lot of things because when we move out to our own place we aren’t going to have anything. So really, what do we do? lol
So I guess I’ll have to just suck it up and register all of the things that we need. Another hard part about it is, that we have to decide what we are going to register for each place, and what things are going to be where, if that makes sense. I don’t want to register for a coffee pot at both places ya know? ugh, it’s very frustrating, ALL wedding planning is. haha
Post # 6
@thewheelsonthebus: You are so not alone. I was struggling with this yesterday matter of fact.
Post # 7
I felt super guilty about our registry even though I don’t even have a whole lot of stuff. But my Fiance and I have basically nothing to start out with. Then I felt a whole lot better when my Fiance looked over it and approved because he is very sensible about what we need and what we don’t, he would have said something if it seemed like we were asking for too much.
Post # 8
@thewheelsonthebus: I am right there with you! I’m in my 30s and Fiance is 41. We registered and I have decided against feeling bad about it. People are going to get us gifts, and I’d rather have them get us something we’d like to have than pick up whatever they want. It’s a wishlist, and we were practical, ie. we didn’t ask for 12 of everything or follow the registry guide recommendations. The consultant at Macy’s was perplexed! I constantly edit because we secretly would prefer to receive money…
As a joke [and I hope to make you all laugh here] this is an actual item on our list – it’s 3 feet long and costs $2,000! It’s the most expensive thing on there by $1,900. Ha ha 🙂
Post # 9
@pink.sequins: hahahaha that is AWESOME!
Post # 10
@pink.sequins: oh my goodness that’s hilarious!!!!
We have mostly small ($20 or less) items, towels and sheets (holy crap have those gotten expensive!) and a few around $50 kitchen items and then some biggins as I call them: new kitchenaid mixer (even though I have one but it’s about 15 years old and in sad shape), vacuum (that costs $120 not $600), TV (which is expensive, but you never know) and a bunch of video game stuff.
I’m just such a practical person that it’s hard putting stuff out there in the hopes that people buy them! But you’re all right – guests want to gift you something, and some prefer to choose from a registry… and it’s better to put it out there so there are options.
Besides, the worst that happens is people don’t buy things. I doubt they’ll be whispering about the nerve of us asking for a new potato masher that doesn’t have a broken handle 🙂
Thanks for all the reassuring words!
Post # 11
oh firstname.lastname@example.org: when we went to Bed Bath & Beyond, the first person who tried to help us told us all about how they’d go around the store with us. And he got really pissed off that I said (nicely), ‘Thank you, but we don’t need an escort, I’ve had a registry here before.’
The guy kept hassling us saying we’d need help knowing how it worked and what we should be buying for our kitchen. I responded with ‘Thank you, but I used to be a professional pastry chef and have worked as a wedding planner for the last few years. We’re good, thanks.’
He left us sitting in the little registry office and then a nice lady came in. She said ‘so, do you need any help or cna I just check in on you once or twice? Here’s your scanner’.
🙂 Sorry buddy… I don’t need you telling me I need 2x as many gifts and that I need that double boiler that sat unused in my cabinets for years and years.