Anyone else feel like Bachelorette Parties are getting out of hand?

posted 1 year ago in Parties
Post # 61
Member
4093 posts
Honey bee

sboom :  I have only seen/read about destination bachelorette’s either at this website or on tv/movies. In real life, the bachelorette parties I have attended are still either at someone’s house or a night out in the city.

Post # 62
Member
4057 posts
Honey bee

catthebee37 :  sounds like a good time. My daughter just got home sick after several days in Nashville for a bachelorette. I remember the good old days when it just meant a night on the town with your friends, not a whole vacation.

And it was a plane ride and hotel for all the girls, plus time off. This is the 2nd travel bach she’s been on.

Post # 63
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Social media happened 

Post # 64
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

mainebride092018 :  I’m glad I read your comment because I was feeling guilty about my west coast bachelorette party but it was my bridesmaid’s idea, my sister lives in California and already flying to the east coast twice for wedding related things (and she has a new job and 2 kids) so it seemed like a great was to get away, relax and have fun with my maids before the wedding. 

Sometimes this site makes me feel judged about my choices lol 

Post # 65
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2100 - City, State

Ugh! Tell me about it…. 

Almost every Bach that I’ve heard of among my circle of friends save like two of them were long weekends with lots of bells and whistles where it was several hundred or more to afford to go. 

I’m attending a ‘ PG Bachelorette’ tomorrow night for a woman who has been married for a year, thrown by the Mom at her home who got pissy that she couldn’t throw any parties for her when she got married, because they went to the local courthouse. Even though I disapprove and don’t understand of the idea of a Bachelorette Party for a married person, I’m going out of support for my friend who is the guest of honor whom I see very rarely due to the distance and our work schedules. I’m hearing of a lot more of these kinds of parties these days too. Not sure why. 

Post # 66
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee

I totally understand that some of these are becoming way over the top, but in my experience, the weekends away usually make sense. For those of you who have your closest friends locally, you’re so lucky! But a lot of us don’t.

I moved 2,000 miles away from all my friends and family right before I got engaged. It’s so lonely to be planning a wedding in a new place with no one around me. If I wanted a bachelorette weekend where no one traveled by air, I’d be partying alone. Sure, I don’t have to have a bachelorette. But the fact that I can look forward to a weekend with my closest friends is one of the only things getting me through these months. 

I try to give the bride the benefit of the doubt, because I don’t think people purposefully want to make things hard on you. My friends and I decided to have the bachelorette in a location that was a short drive for them, so that I’m the only one paying for airfare. I’m not taking a 4+ hour flight to just stay for a day 🙂 I also gave my Maid/Matron of Honor a lot of extra $$$ to put into the group budget.

Everything can have it’s extremes, but I empathize with the brides who use this occasion as a chance to spend quality time with their girlfriends who they wouldn’t normally get to see, even if that means taking a whole weekend.

Post # 67
Hostess
9633 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I agree. I had a one night thing in a city close to where most of us lived. I think it has to do with it’s like 5 years later now, and my friend group has more disposable income… but, things are getting out of control and it seems like it’s all for show or to “top” what someone else did. I hate it.

Right now, my best friend is spending the weekend in NOLA for a bachelorette. She had to buy plane tickets, pay her share for an air B&B mansion they’re staying in, pay for a wine tasting and dinner tonight, a spa day, oyster tasting and burlesque show tomorrow and brunch for Sunday before they all fly home. She said she’s spent $750 so far, and hasn’t even landed there! INSANITY.

Post # 69
Member
5578 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

sboom :  I think it’s pretty reasonable, if you’re doing the meet up somewhere for the weekend thing, to have one “big” night that involves either brunch earlier on or dinner before you go out, and then just kind of chill the rest of the weekend or do some sight-seeing, a beach day, etc.

But what is “reasonable” to you is actually just your opinion, it doesn’t make it the right or the only way to do something.  If someone wants to plan a blow out weekend that they know their friend will love why shouldn’t they?  People can choose to attend or to pass. 

Personally if I’m going away for a weekend I wouldn’t want to be limited to only going to one brunch and then just chilling trying to not spend any money. Couples are getting married later and girls in their 20s and 30s have more disposable income and freedom than ever before and I think that’s much more of a reason for the increase in destination bachelorettes, I completely disagree with other posters that it’s social media. 

Post # 70
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I think there’s more FOMO due to social media.  I’m not sure how else a bride going on a trip you don’t have to join her for becomes “insane” or otherwise unreasonable.

(If she’s a jerk about you declining, that’s one thing, but posters seem to be upset about the trips themselves.)

Post # 71
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I’m split on this. I think it comes down to the situation.

For example, all of my bridesmaids live in different states so we’ll be doing a weekend getaway. But to keep it less expensive, we’re staying at my in-laws vacation home (which is close enough for several girls to drive to) and keeping our activities more low-key. Meanwhile, a friend of mine is having her bachelorette in the major city near where we live and is doing an all day bar crawl, overnight in the city, and expensive boozy brunch the next day. For me, it’s too much and I will only be attending the bar crawl.

Post # 72
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

This whole discussion reminds me of the episode of Friends where half of the gang has more money than the other half and they’re trying to plan Ross’ birthday. The half that has more assumes the others can pay for concert tickets, dinner, cake, a present, and the ones who can’t afford it feel uncomfortable telling them that they can’t. Unfortunately unless everyone you know is in a similar financial position, there will always be tension about money.

 

I’ve been on both sides of this so I feel like I can understand it from both perspectives. It sucks to be the one who misses out because you can’t afford something. It also sucks to be the one who would like to do something nice and is held back because someone else can’t afford it. I guess the answer is figuring out what you want to do and who you really want to be there. If the people who you really want to be there can swing it, then go for it. Maybe some other people won’t be able to make it and you’re okay with that. It’s when the bride starts acting entitled and getting annoyed with people who can’t make it that things get really obnoxious. 

 

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors