(Closed) Anyone else feel like they're getting screwed over by coworkers with kids?

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am a Mom, but this happens to me too as I am the co worker with the least amount of children. It sucks, no doubt about it. My direct boss is also not big on confrontation so I just have to deal with it. So know that even Moms run into this too. Maybe I should birth a litter so I can come late and leave early and never work weekends?! :p

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That’s annoying. I think it’s okay for them to ASK for better hours that fit their schedules, but it’s up to your boss to make it fair. Hopefully if you have more seniority then your boss gives you first pick, it doesn’t seem right to divvy up the hours based on who has a family and who doesn’t. If you put in your time then you deserve first pick regardless of your family situation!

Post # 6
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MadameTussaud:  Not me, but Darling Husband for sure.  He’s a police officer, and works an alternating shift of 0600-1600 one week, and 1200-2200 the next.  At least he did… until the half of his team with kids decided that they needed to ALWAYS work days, and the people without kids should take the afternoon shift.  Ummm… we’d like to HAVE a kid thanks, and him coming home every day after I’m well asleep isn’t really helping.

Same thing for all holidays.  The folks with kids are always pushing that they need Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Year’s off too, and the ones without kids should cover, since they don’t have families that will miss them.

Post # 8
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ummm yes! My co worker (we share duties so I have to do her work when she bails) only works 35 hours a week, but gets the same benefits as a regular full time 40 hour employee like me.The HR manager has even complained to my boss several times about how she should not be receiving full benefits if she is not working 40 hours a week!

Why is she allowed to do this? because she tells our boss she has to pick up her kids on friday so she leaves at 11, but ummmm her kids are in HIGH SCHOOL now. AND her mom drops them off and picks them up from school every day. So I already smelled the poo and one day got really annoyed and googled her kids’ bell schedule and NO they do not have half days on Fridays. And even if they did, her leaving at 11 doesn’t get her to their school in time since she lives an hour away from where we work. So she takes a half day on Friday every week basicaly to start her weekend early!

It’d be one thing if she could complete her 40 hours of work in 35, but she doesn’t. She screws things up left and right since she is rushing out of here, or literally hides unfinished work from our boss. Which in our field, always comes back to haunt you!

I can’t wait to have kids so I can milk our boss like she does.

Post # 9
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Ah yes, I hate this. I understand that once you have them, kids come first, really I do. But when people with kids get first pick of all holiday time off and are the first to leave with work left to do that I have to finish….yeah, it gets old. My poor husband is the only one at his office without kids – he’s worked every weekend for the last month and is putting in 10+ hours a day during the week because the people with families keep getting vacation time approved before school starts! Yeah, the extra money is nice, but I think I’ve seen my husband (awake!) like 20 hours in total over the last month.

Post # 11
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MadameTussaud:  i know exactly how you feel.  it drives me crazy.  if the job does not fit your lifestyle, then find one that does or suck it up until you can switch to one that does. 

coming from someone with a child, i never used that as any excuse to work certain shifts.  this was what i signed up for so i have to do it. period.  even when i had seniority and my performanced allowed me to pick my schedule, i still did so based on fairness to all.

Post # 12
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with @moderndaisy:  

Post # 14
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your beef really should be with your manager. When people see someone with something they want— a more favorable schedule, in this case— it’s just human nature that they ask for it. Your manager needs to grow a backbone and start saying No, and enforcing the shifts that people were hired to work.  When people start getting turned down on their requests, they will eventually stop asking for changes.  

That said, I;ve been telecommuting for almost 7 years now and I’ve got no desire to go back to a traditional workplace, and the people with kids is one of the big reasons. I was lucky to always have good managers that handled the schedules fairly. But that didn’t stop the ENDLESS parade of parents pimping fundraiser crap for their kids. Girl scout cookies, pizza kits, christmas wrapping paper, candles, all sorts of overpriced useless crap and if you didn’t buy a freakin candle you got put on a guilt trip because Little Johnny’s soccer team really needed new uniforms! Ugh.  I wanted to start asking my co-workers for “donations” towards keeping me child-free, thereby ensuring I wouldn’t be pimping pizza kits too in a few years!

Post # 15
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Eh, it happens where I work too (in a school), because teachers have to do a certain amount of before-or-after school duties and the ones with kids always get first pick of which time/duty they want since they have to figure out alternative arrangements for before-or-after school care.  Also, people with kids have to all in sick a lot more often and when it’s last minute, our school can’t find a sub and the other teachers end up having to give up their conferenc period to cover for them which SUCKS, because they you don’t have any time all day without kids to make copies, plan lessons, grade papers, etc.

However, I actually don’t mind that much.  Because I’ve already been a teacher/school librarian for 9 years, I’ve seen this cycle.  My friends who were single/no kids before used to get the “bad”before/after school duties, and now that they have kids they get the “good” ones.  When their kids get older and aren’t in day care anymore and can ride the bus, they go back to getting the “bad” times, making way for the moms with younger kids.  And even for those people who don’t have kids, there *will* come a time when you have a family crisis—an ill or dying parent, sibling, spouse—and eventually it will be YOU using all your sick days, calling in last minute, needing the “better” after-school duties. 

My mom is also a teacher, and before my dad passed away with cancer, he was sick for almost 2 years.  The last 6 months, my mom’s principal allowed her to leave school during her conference period and her lunch hour every day, as well as give up all before-and-after school duties for an entire 6 months….so she could go home and check on my dad, who had a day nurse (who sometimes had trouble getting my dad off the chair/bed to get to a toilet, etc.)  Her fellow teachers even transferred their own sick days to her account, so she would have more paid leave to be with my dad.  So it more than made up for all the years she’d spend taking their classes when they had small kids and had to call in sick.

So I think it’s better to be kind of Zen about it….you may be getting screwed over a little bit not, but at some point it will be you needed that extra help.  What goes around comes around.

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