Post # 1
FH and I waited to have sex until our wedding night. (He had slept with others, I hadn’t.) Prior to getting married/having sex, I was super excited about it, and I had a higher drive about making out than FH. In the begining it hurt fairly bad for a while, which has improved, and now hurts occasionally (not bad). I have a mirena I got when we got married, and I think that is playing a role, but not sure how much. FH works very long hours, and we end up having sex about once a week or slightly less. Sometimes I initiate because I feel like “I should.” Even when it’s good, it still is not nearly as good as I thought it would be. I would much rather “play by myself” because it’s so much quicker and easier. Otherwise, I would be fine having sex once a month (or maybe less). Does anyone else feel like this? Did I just have unreasonable expectations? Any suggestions?
Little background: I have seen a doctor, and nothing is wrong with me, other than the mirena has that side effect. The only other option is changing to a copper IUD, but there are significant issues with that too.
ETA: The IUD is NOT causing me pain. I have a medical issue that prevents me from taking anything with estrogen. This leaves barrier methods (not effective enough), NFP (our lives are too crazy to work around this and not effective enough), progesterone only pills (harder to do, less effective, same side effects), depo and implanon (worse side effects), and the IUD. I don’t want to switch to the copper IUD because it increases periods and cramps, both of which are already problems. The mirena causes me acne (tolerable) and weight gain (I can combat this with lots of exercise and watching diet). Would you switch?
Post # 3
I had the Mirena for a year. The entire year I had it I hated sex. Removed it and now I love sex again!
Post # 4
you should be able to use a form of contraception that doesn’t make sex hurt. why do you have to use an IUD? there are tons of other options. talk to your doctor.
hope things get better!
Post # 5
Nope, I love sex. Seriously, I could do it every night and all during the weekend and would be one happy camper.
Post # 6
I love sex. We still have sex everyday. I was on one pill (forget which one) that totally killed my sex drive, and I went about 2 months without having sex when I was in a previous long-term relationship. I switched to the Nuvaring and have been happy ever since. I can’t rave about the Nuvaring enough, and it’s just as effective as other birth controls, but you just leave it in for 3 weeks so you don’t have to worry about taking anything daily. Maybe that’s something to consider if you’re looking for a convenient method of bc? IUDs are super easy, but if you never feel like having sex, then it’s not worth it, IMO.
Post # 7
Hmm… I don’t think it’s overrated (I do love sex!), but it’s not always great either. These days I’m often so tired and grumpy after work that I’m definitely not in the mood. I’ve found that forcing yourself to do it when you don’t really feel like it kind of guarantees that the sex won’t be that great.
Does it hurt because of your IUD, or because you’re kind of new to it? If it’s your IUD causing you pain, then get rid of that thing pronto!! If it’s because you’re kind of new to having sex, then make sure everything is slip-slidey before you start rubbing bits together (natural or artificial lube is all good!) and go slow.
Post # 8
Hmm.. I’m on the pill and I can definately say I have a low sex drive. It can be really difficult for our relationship too. I’m looking forward to when I’m off birth control completely…
Post # 9
Ummmm…no. Absolutely not. I’m one who could have sex every day and never grow tired of it. I never get as much pleasure out of pleasuring myself and only resort to that when Fiance is out of town.
Post # 10
Yeah, sometimes, especially if it’s uncomfortable. Then it’s like, “wow that was not that much fun”. I don’t get the big hype. My mom told me sex was overrated when I was a teenager and I thought she was telling me that just to scare me into staying a virgin.
Post # 11
In a word, no. But it seems like there’s factors at play that affect how you feel about it, like if it sometimes hurts or is uncomfortable, you might not be able to easily relax and let loose. I hope it gets better for you, because good sex is GREAT and everyone should get to experience it. LOL.
Post # 12
sometimes its good/sometimes its bad
Post # 13
I don’t think that the mirena really has very much to do with it IMO, especially bc you can’t compare what your sex drive or how pleasurable sex was before the IUD was placed. I would say that you just need more lube and foreplay! Hope you are able to work it out soon!
Post # 14
Great I’m probably going to be the only one here : I like sex, but I could live without it. I am not driven to have it at all, I like flirting and kissing but I just don’t care for it. We have sex 1 mayyybe 2 times a week. I “give” a lot more, I enjoy that more than sex (and its quicker). I have been on like 9 different birth controls and my sex drive has never gotten better, so I don’t know if thats what causes it or what.
Post # 16
Well when I was on the pill, I had no sex drive at all and didn’t really find it that awesome. Not on the pill now. We average about once a week, but it’s awesome when we do 🙂