Post # 1
A few weeks ago I was visiting SO and he took me on a really romantic date. He had planned our time together a lot more thoroughly than he normally does, and wouldn’t tell me where we were going at any point throughout the evening. For the first time ever, I was seriously suspicious he might propose. To my surprise, I found myself hoping “please don’t let him propose tonight!” He didn’t, and I felt almost relieved rather than disappointed.
I have been dreaming of getting engaged for the past year, so that emotion caught me completely off guard. I guess now that I know we are on the same page and am fairly confident that engagement is a near-term posibility, I am feeling really nervous! Not second guessing that I want to marry him, or even that I am ready now- it just feels totally different now that it is not a completely hypothetical situation!
Anyone else ever feel that way?
Post # 3
@coastalbee88: I think it’s probably because you imagine it as this thing that will “never happen” (which is ridiculous) and 2, you know that it took a bit to be able to talk about this stuff (update me sometime!), so now that it’s actually possible… you hope it lives up to how you imagined it. I think I get it! We’ll see if I feel the same…
Post # 4
I totally understand this feeing. When I think of getting engaged as a hypothetical or future event, it seems very romantic. I’m excited, happy, glowing. But then when I actually imagine him getting down on one knee and wearing my ring, I feel a little worried. I guess it’s the finality of it all. I think Mrs. Trail Mix had a really good post on the main site a few days ago about how marriage changes your relationship. Suddenly what was once a casual thing that you could walk away from at any moment is now a legally binding, seemingly inescapable situation. For an independent person like myself, it makes me a little scared! Then there’s the idea that I will have to plan the wedding. I like the idea of being engaged and the idea of a beautiful wedding, but all the stress and money in between makes it really unappealing. After you get that ring you start getting all the questions. You pick the date, the venue, you make deposists. It’s a lot of pressure!
Anyway, I guess my point is that it’s a HUGE turning point in your life and I think it’s normal to be scared or hesistant.
Post # 5
I think you nailed what I have been having trouble articulating. The idea of a life “turning point.” I am already feeling kind of internally conflicted over the possibility of taking my career in a different direction but not feeling ready for permanent commitment there- sort of a quarter life crisis. Not to sound overly dramatic, but these big decisions are almost like a reminder of mortality; that life is short and doors are being permanently closed.
Post # 6
@coastalbee88: Ummm i was so ready for a proposal about a year ago and then when i realize what it meant i would FREAK OUT! Not really because of the marriage, i was ok with that. It was planning the wedding. That sort of terrifies me. All those people i want to have a good time and all the planning AHHH. I am high strung. Clearly.
BUt i think knowing its that moment where your whole life completely changes is daunting. And then when its done its OVER! Haha. So i will be shaking when it happens. And probably the following 3 hours. And then when i have to tell everyone, shaking again. Just because its so HUGE.
Post # 7
I totally understand this feeling. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with my SO. I truly believe we are meant to be together but lately he will do things that drive me nuts and I start to question things. I wonder if I’m rushing this feeling or if I just want to join in all of my friends getting engaged. When I step back and breathe..I realize I’m getting a lil crazy and that I do love him but I think the finality of engagement and marriage is scaring me a bit.