Anyone else feel this way?

posted 1 week ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2674 posts
Sugar bee

I think a lot of people feel this way, myself included.  I am not excited at all about the planning phase and just want to get to the married part of it.

 

Post # 3
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Austin, TX

I think this is totally normal. I really had to reign myself in and plan the wedding I wanted and not the wedding society makes us think we want because I was beyond miserable. Since then it has been the biggest boulder off my shoulders!

Post # 4
Member
1163 posts
Bumble bee

Do what makes you and your fiance happy. If planning a wedding is not bringing you any joy then how about eloping? Save yourself the stress and all the work. Don’t have the wedding your relatives want have the wedding you want. Let everyone know that you and your guy have talked about it and made the decision to have the celebration you really desire and that would be just the two of you quietly on a beach/ mountain etc.

I would completely understand if a close family member said that they did not want all the bells and whistles and anxiety that go with getting married and want to run away together. 

Post # 5
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I was right there with ya!!!!!!!!

It is a lot to handle, we ended up eloping locally.. we had our mothers and 1 best friend each as witnesses and we did a reception lunch with about 20 people (immediate family and closest friends) and then we went out to our favo neighborhood bar after with even more people (the rest of our friends) and it was amazing!

I couldn’t deal with all the stress, and the traditions .. it just wasn’t for us! 

Sometimes I feel like weddings can really spiral away from the couple and is more about the people that attend, and just didn’t want that. We really wanted it to be about us, and for us. Hopefully you find what makes you happiest! You could always do a small ceremony and then a reception party type thing?

Good Luck! 

Don’t stress too much!!! 

Post # 6
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2021 - City, State

Not anymore, but I did when I first started plannin . At one point I told my fiancé I didn’t want to do it anymore and we should just elope. He told me to stop planning for a week, and if I still felt that way in a month, we could do it.

For me it was just overstimulated with allllllll the Pinterest boards and wedding sites and color schemes and venue themes…it got hard to pick anything and I kept changing my mind. When I took the week off, I knew I still wanted a wedding, but I wanted a long time to plan it.

We have 2 years (almost to the day!) till our wedding because otherwise I’m a hot mess. My advice is to take a breather and spend time with the people you love sans wedding talk or planning. It’s okay to not plan for a while, and just breathe. It’s also okay to hire someone else to help you if possible.

Breathe, take a week or two, and then come back to it and see what you want to do 🙂

Post # 7
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

It would have been hard for me to care less about my wedding and it’s details.  Honestly.  I wanted to marry my husband, but the wedding did not matter.  We were only engaged 7 months and in that time, I changed jobs, we sold a house, and we bought a house.    And took a couple trips.  The wedding was seriously an afterthought and if his niece hadn’t been SO excited about being a flower girl, we would probably have eloped.  

Still ended up being a fun day/night, though. 

Post # 8
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

Youre totally normal! Planning is stressful. I had a small wedding and I still was like “lets get it over with”. As long as youre “hell yes” about being married to your fiance then dont worry about not being stoked over wedding stuff. Not all women are and its totally normal and ok

Post # 9
Member
86 posts
Worker bee

I really in the same shoes. Our timelines are similar, engaged for 4 months and wedding is next year. I’m so tired of planning things and I haven’t even really start. I feel like it’s such a big respondibity to entertain all the guests and also make beautiful wedding and also a lot of saving to spend. I actually want to elope and straight to honeymoon, start marriage life. But, wedding is a compromise of me and my FH. He wants a wedding so much.. he says it’s lifetime expreience, he wants his friends to be there and goes on. I don’t know how to encourage you because I’m feeling same. My wedding is next year May, and I don’t even have dress, makeup artist booked, photographer, so basically nothing is done yet lol. But I’m pretty sure everything will settle on time and I will be happily marrying my man that day

Post # 10
Member
470 posts
Helper bee

GIRL YES. 

I found planning the most fun before we had formally decided to get married, lol. Then we set a date and it was almost like the fun was erased by the reality of organizing everything and dealing with relatives. I’m so excited for the marriage, but kind of neutral on the wedding. It helped us to downsize considerably from what we thought about in abstract (we’re eloping now with a party to follwo) so that it felt more focussed on the two of us. 

No, you’re not terrible/crazy/weird. You’re boringly sane in my book 🙂 .

Post # 11
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: City, State

I started planning, it got so dramatic thanks to family on both sides that I droppped it all and we got married on our favorite beach at sunset with my children.  It was perfect.  No regrets.

 

Post # 12
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Planning a wedding sucks. Being engaged caused me horrible anxiety. It’s perfectly normal to be more excited for the honeymoon and the marriage. I think it’s better you’re more excited for the marriage than the wedding, sometimes people are too focused on the wedding day and they forget about the marriage.

It’s a lot easier said than done but don’t focus too much on getting the perfect dress, having the perfect day. Things will go wrong. It doesn’t how much prepping you do, what emergency kits and plans you have, something will still go wrong. It’s better to accept the bumps of the day than think your shot at perfection is ruined.

Now I go to weddings and I get a little twinge of sadness that I don’t get that excitement again of getting engaged and married. Before it hits me how bad planning a wedding was and then I’m over it.

Post # 13
Member
2508 posts
Sugar bee

I felt the same. I wanted to get married, I didn’t want to spend a fortune on it, and I wanted nice pictures. Now that I’m married, I do sorta wish I’d splurged on a dress I really loved, but I also sorta wish I’d just eloped since I didn’t care about the wedding that much. Oh well. It was important to my husband for family to be there, so we had the wedding. 

Honestly, I think it’s a very healthy sign that you don’t care much about the wedding itself. The important thing is the marriage! 

Post # 14
Member
8320 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

delilah146 :  

lt might be helpful to think carefully about what parts you really might like, the dress maybe, or just having parents there like a pp. She called hers an elopement l think, though it was really a small private ceremony. Or you might like an actual elopement, which of course calls for a bit more balancing re parents feelings quite often.

My point is, no need for a really big, planned, elaborate do. No need for bridesmaids or bachelorettes etc if you don’t want them Just list what elements you think you would like and run them by fi. It may be that takes the tedious stressful aspects out of it, not to mention the reduction in cost !

Post # 15
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2029

delilah146 :  I get you totally!  My wedding is in a month and yes I have been planning.  I’m not fussed about the details and just doing everything simple.  Another woman at work is having her destination wedding in about a year and is planning down to the itty bitty details.  I kinda feel like I should be too, but I want simple.  Wedding dress shopping was not stressful and I actually picked the 1st dress I tried on.  Wedding planning doesn’t have to be a big to do.

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