Post # 1
So I’ve been married for quite some time now but haven’t gotten around to changing my name.
I initially wanted to hyphenate but decided to just completely assume his name and do away with my own.
At first I didnt want to because I was afraid my parents would get mad, but now I don’t really care. But I still have this weird feeling… like I am loosing a part of me.
Anyone else feel like that?
Post # 3
I just recently got all of my stuff changed, and it’s definitely weird. Your name carries so much meaning to you and has so many memories and accomplishments associated with it. (My husband likes to remind me that I have two degrees in a name that’s no longer “mine.” Yeah…that helps.)
I think it just takes time to get used to, and eventually, you’ll feel like your married name is who you “are.” I think about my mom — she’s a wife, mother, and very successful in her career. And her whole identity/life now is attached to her married name.
I get nostalgic about my maiden name, but I just try to remind myself that my maiden name represented a very significant time in my life, my first 24 years. And my married name will represent the next phase, which I’m sure is going to be more awesome than I even realize. 🙂
But you’re right. It’s hard to feel like you’re losing a part of yourself. I definitely feel that way. But I don’t think it’s a permanent feeling.
Post # 4
I think it will be a little strange for me. there will be some good and bad. I definitely know I’ll be taking his name. Future Mother-In-Law would be really hurt and disrespected if i didn’t. It’s just that I don’t have any names that are easy to prounounce other than my last name and FI’s last name is definitely subject to mis-pronunciation, so I suppose I’m not looking forward to that part.
I guess I don’t have the best memories with this last name, to be honest. I was born with the last name “Boos” (pronouced like loose except with a ‘b’) and then my Stepdad adopted my younger brother and I so that we’d all be a “family.” Then he turned into an alcoholic and left… So for that part I’ll be happy to finally sever that tie to him.
Post # 5
I still don’t know if I will give mine up. I am known professionally by my maiden name so I am still undecided. I have a feeling I will make the switch and hope it isn’t confusing for people or sad for me.
Post # 6
I’m with ya girl. I have not introduced myself as “Mrs. Ryan’sgirl” yet. I still haven’t fully decided if I’m changing my last name (don’t tell my husband!) but I know it’s really important to him that I do.
I like what @Gemstone: said about your maiden name representing the first chapter of your life though. If I look at it that way, it makes me feel better about changing it!
Post # 7
I was originally going to, and then I got sad about it. But just yesterday, I google searched my married name, and there were like four results. After trying for ages to be searchable, I’m finally excited enough about it to change it. But yeah, it definitely feels weird. I feel like I’m re-branding myself.
Post # 8
I definitely feel weird about it. Not only the loss of identity thing though. I started a new job at a company I previously worked for right after the wedding, so I changed things right away to help avoid being introduced as maiden name followed by a name change just after. It is sooo awkward when I bump into people from my previous position – hey, I finished grad school and I’m back…but if you are trying to get in touch here’s the new name since I also got married!
Post # 9
I went through the process of changing it in the months after the wedding, and it’s still weird. I feel a little lucky that DH’s last name and my maiden name start with the same letter, so at least I still have the same initials. Don’t know why that makes me feel better, but it does. Yeah, I have two degrees and law licenses from two states in my maiden name displayed in my office, and that’s strange. Damn – I forgot to change my name with the state bar. Need to get on that. All the places you have to change it are pretty annoying.
Post # 10
Yep. Which is why I didn’t change mine!! As awful as this sounds, it just seems unnatural to have his name. It’s like it’s not me.
Post # 11
I have this feeling too. I don’t even like my current last name that much, I like FI’s last name way more, but I still feel like I’m losing my identity. I know I’ll change it but it’s so weird to think that in 5 months my name won’t even be the same!
Post # 12
I feel very weird about it. I have always envisioned myself as Dr. “Maiden name” when I graduated med school but now it will be different and it feels so weird. I haven’t decided on a hyphenation or not which I am strongly considering.
Post # 13
I understand you feelings, but I am super excited to have his name, maybe I’m old fashioned. I also do not have a middle name, so I will assume my maiden as my middle. Everyone has to make their own choice about that though. I actually have a friend who’s hubby hypenated his name too! For instance, her name was Jones his Smith, they are both now Mary and John Jones-Smith.
Post # 14
I felt that way – it was a bittersweet day leaving the ss office. I was really sad about giving up my last name, its so unique and italian 🙂 my husband has a really really REALLY common last name but honestly i wouldn’t have had it any other way – always figured i would take my husbands last name.
i’ve been married almost a year and changed most stuff right away (still need to do insurance! eek) but i was signing our new lease yesterday and we had to initial every page and i kept writing my old last initial! stuipd! i should be used to it by now haha