(Closed) Anyone else feeling sad about mum/sister’s lack of enthusiasm?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I know what you mean. My mum’s the same. It usually doesn’t bother me but it would be nice if at least someone around me was happy for me, and us. That’s all I ask. I’d be uncomfortable with gushing and too much interest but hey, at least pretend to be happy perhaps at some point.

Post # 4
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I can empathize.

It’s very disheartening when NOBODY seems to care about your wedding or helping you plan it out. I think the lack of interest on my family’s part is probably because of my age, but it doesn’t hurt any less.

Post # 5
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

This is honestly one of my biggest concerns about getting engaged!  My mother is still “bitter” about the way my grandma controlled her wedding and has said mulitple times that she doesn’t really want anything to do with it.  She keeps saying “I’ll give you a blank check and send you on your way”.  Granted… blank check is amazing, but shouldn’t she want to be more involved???   It really concerns me!

Post # 9
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

My mom (and most of my side of the family) wasn’t very interested in my wedding and never showed any enthusiasm. As the wedding got closer and closer, my Mother-In-Law kept saying “So your mom must be getting excited!” and it always stung a little because in reality my mom wasn’t excited at all.

Also, my mom is kind of jaded about weddings. She’s been married 3 times. She doesn’t believe marriage is permenant and sees a wedding as a huge waste of money.

I vowed that when my two younger sisters get married, I’m going to fuss over them and be excited because no one in my family showed much interest in my wedding and it hurt my feelings.

Anyway, how do your in laws feel about your wedding? Are they excited? If so, share your wedding details with them instead. I know that it feels like wedding planning should be a special time between a mother and daughter, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case for me. I took solice in the excitement my new family had.

Post # 11
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m feeling this from my dad. I talked to him about it and he’s doing a bit better but it did really hurt.

Post # 12
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Also I am so sorry you are experiencing this *hugs* unfortunately we have to live with the family we are given, all you can do is be a shining example of what true love can really be and maybe she will soften?

Post # 13
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

We’ve grown up with pretty powerful expectations about what planning our weddings will be like and how the women in our families will be involved.  Your experience won’t match those messages, but few people’s do.  The little girl in you wanted your mom at there, but the adult in you didn’t need her there.

Many women think that wedding planning will bring them closer to their mothers.  For some, it does that.  For many, it doesn’t.  It’s okay to grieve over shattered expectations, but eventually, you will pick yourself up, realize that you were expecting more out of your mother than you know she has the capacity to give, and you will carry on like a stong, independent woman. 

 

By The Way, based on comparing stories with brides, I got better service when I was alone than other girls did when with their mothers.  When you are with your mom, I think some people in the wedding industry cater to her. 

 

I wrote a bit about my own experience with this here: http://www.weddingbee.com/2012/01/30/including-mother-weddding-planning/

 

Post # 14
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I can relate. My mom hasn’t been excited about anything. When she saw my engagement ring all she said was, “Well, it looks real enough.” (I have a moissanite and I happen to think it looks wonderful), and it’s been all downhill from there. I’ve tried to get her to look at some wedding ideas with me but she hasn’t and anytime I bring up getting married she just kind of sighs and shakes her head and changes the subject. She hasn’t congratulated me. She hasn’t mentioned being excited about dress shopping. She hasn’t said anything at all to me about a wedding other than how she doesn’t like FH and we need to wait as long as humanly possible to get married.

When we go out, she points out guys to me, I guess thinking that if I see someone super hot I’m going to leave my FH. My only consolation is my Future Mother-In-Law and one of my good friends being excited.

Anyway, I didn’t mean to write a book or anything, but I know how you feel and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know it hurts.

Post # 15
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Luckily my mom is excited! But I don’t think anyone else is. Kind of sucks!

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