Post # 1
My wedding is in almost two weeks and I’m feeling a little sad, because this wedding has brought so many things into focus, like who really cares for you and who doesn’t. I’ve been really surpised at how some people react when their friends and family get married. The good is that a few people have surprised me in how supportive they’ve been. But then there are people who I thought would be supportive and have seen a different side to them.
I’ve had one “friend” who couldn’t even muster a congrats. Some people who I thought would make it to the wedding not only not show up but decided to be completely MIA during the whole process and not even talk to me. And my Maid/Matron of Honor, who I’ve never fought with, basically said she was too busy going to other parties and couldnt fit it into her schedule to plan my bachelorette party. Another friend, one who I should have made Maid/Matron of Honor, stepped up and planned something, which was great! But that night, another friend, again someone who I’ve never had an issue with before, decided to be really rude and tease me the whole night!
Anyway, I’m feeling really hurt and sad right now. I know I’ll probably get over it soon. But just needed to vent. I feel very self-conscious and trying not to pay attention to what people think, but of course when people are rude, you can’t help but feel self-consious. Also, it makes me want to shut myself off from the world and not see anyone.
Has anyone seen the same?
Post # 3
When it comes to weddings, the bride usually feels things are very important, and the people around, not AS much so.
Sometimes people are going through some things and may have not have congratulated, but really do care about you!
Let me give you an example. I had a good friend who’s grandfather died. She posted his obituary. I was going throug a lot that week and *thought* I had replied on Facebook with my condolences. Apparentrly, I didnt. She cut me out of her life for not “caring about her”. When really it was just a misunderstanding, and one small mistake!
Another example, a friend who was getting married, needed help printined RSVP enveloped. That week my husband and I were not speaking. We were fighting and I simply couldn’t have her over because of the awkwardness at home. She was very offended that I “didn;t care” when REALLY that wasn’t the reason.
Sometimes there are just some misunderstandings.
Try to take a deep breathe. Things like (what your mother did) I think are unacceptable. But smaller things, like people not helping as much as you thought, etc.. Try to let some of it roll off your back. There may be extenuating circumstances or things you may not know about.
Post # 4
Sorry your feeling this way (hug) my family and friends were really mean at the beginning of our engagement and have since come around (2 months left) I have planned this wedding all by myself and I know it hurts but you will be ok. At the end all that matters is you and your new husband.
Post # 5
Is it possible that you’re overly sensitive/reading too much into things? You haven’t gotten married yet – your friend might be waiting until the wedding to congratulate you, as is traditional. It also sounds like your friend who is teasing you isn’t really a true friend – part of growing older is shedding friends you’ve outgrown. It’s a very common part of weddings, especially when people put their oldest friends in the wedding party, even though they aren’t as close as they once were. Is that the case here?
Post # 6
I was surprised with how many people tried to make the day about them. My mom, sister in law, mother in law and bridesmaid all pissed me off with their selfish attitudes and not caring about what i wanted. It brings out the worst in people.
That being said, i love being married! lol
Post # 7
@crayfish: I am a sensitive person. But in the case of the Maid/Matron of Honor, yes, it’s my oldest friend and even though we see each other every couple of months, I never realized how much we had grown apart and how different we were until now!
Post # 8
Sometimes life just gets in the way, and other times, people just have a hard time being happy for other people. My brother & SIL are a good example of the second group: they’ve had ZERO involvement in our wedding, and have actually changed the subject/stopped communicating the few times we’ve tried to fill them in on what’s going on. They’ve had their own excitement going on (new baby) but IMO your happiness shouldn’t mean not being happy for other people. It’s been really heartbreaking, and I can barely deal with them right now.
However, sometimes it really just is people get busy with their own lives and other things get swept under the rug. It may not be that they don’t care, but that they have a million things going on and have mentally “checked out.” It doesn’t make it right, but it also may not be malicious.
Post # 9
Yes I have noticed this phenomenon. I have always understood that some ppl could not make it to my wedding. What surprised me was that ppl I thought cared about me actually started ignoring me, refused to RSVP with their decline, never offered even one verbal good wish my way. And these r ppl who r family or friends that I have gone out of my way for years to keep a friendship cultivated. my wedding choices have even been called stupid. I was shocked at how little ppl respect me and hiw little they care about me now that it is time to show it. All I can say is ppl r weird, and I don’t know what I ever did to get treated like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with ppl.
Post # 10
@katnesss1: I would agree with this – people are just generally on edge. I know my sister in law (husbands sister) texted him before the wedding telling him what a controlling person i was and how he is miserable and he should dump me (all out of the blue) then decided about 2 weeks before the wedding that her and her husband would not stand up.
She came to the church and reception – not even a congrats or hello!
Post # 11
@katnesss1: Meaner? Not sure, but when it comes to weddings people do seem to lose their ‘filter’ of what is a good idea and what is a bad idea to say. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t combine with the fact that everyone has an opinion about some part of your wedding. All I keep thinking is “this is not a democracy with endless debates. It’s my wedding, before you give your opinion think if it’s an opinion I really want to hear”.