(Closed) Anyone else find this tacky?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
3380 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@fishbone:  +1

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@futuremrsstraight:  I have zero issue with it as long as they say “instead of a gift, please bring wine to share.”

…$50 bottle of wine vs. a $200+ gift? Sounds like a plan.

Post # 18
3584 posts
Sugar bee

I think its tacky in any setting…especially if guests are required to bring a gift also

Post # 19
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Um, it’s different but I wouldn’t mind.  It sounds like a fun, casual party. 

Post # 20
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Surprisingly, I don’t really have a problem with this. There WILL be drinks provided so it’s not like she said “Bring your own water,” lol. The wording sounded a little demanding and I would’ve stated it more artfully (and to make it sound more optional), but as an idea, it seems cool. I’m having a pretty laid back wedding and I think I could get away with this. Make no mistake, I never would do something like this as I was raised that it’s rude to ask your guests to host themselves in any way. But as a guest, I’d be fine bringing a bottle. However, IDK whether I’d be bringing a gift AND wine. 

Post # 21
1075 posts
Bumble bee

@futuremrsstraight:  I despise the word tacky comes across as judgemental (nt saying u r)… IMO it Could have been worded better but if its nt a formal then i say why nt

Post # 22
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Um… When we go to a house warming we always take a bottle of wine, sometimes a bottle of wine AND a gift.  I’m not sure why weddings have to be much different. Weddings aren’t supposed to be a snob fest, its a celebration.  At one point if you got the day off work, and had some family over to the house for a meal then that was a pretty big wedding.  The weddings everyone is basing all their etiquette on?  Those were usually reserved for the exceptionally wealthy. 

To be fair, if I really like a couple a bottle of wine is my gift.  One of my favorite things to give is a young Bordeaux that they can cellar for a later anniversary.  Though, that works best if they know how to do this and keep it from being damaged as even young they aren’t terribly cheap wines.  

How well do you know this person?  Is getting together with a few friends and popping a bottle of wine typical?  If so then what you saw on her page was probably perfect for her.  If you don’t drink wine and are fine with beer, don’t take wine.  So many options here. 


Post # 23
1974 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I do think its a little rude.

I’d take my bottle of wine but would then spend less on their gift!

Post # 26
8066 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If it’s a very casual (think potluck casual) wedding then I wouldn’t mind.  I don’t think I’d like to be asked to bring a nice gift plus a nice bottle of wine.  So I think it’d be better if they asked for that instead of gifts.  Guess I’d probably get a cheaper gift depending on what wine I picked up.

Post # 27
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We had our guests bring their own alcohol.. period.. We couldn’t afford it.. Everyone LOVED it because it created conversation at the tables, AND everyone had their favorite drink!

ETA: We did provide sodas (both bottled sodas [our venue did not have a bar or anywhere to put “tapped” soda]) and “home brewed” sodas (not by us) and water, also hot coffee and tea!

ETA (again): Our guests knew to expect this.. We were also surprised with a gift of all the champagne for the toasts! Our reception wasn’t SUPER formal, but it wasn’t SUPER casual either.. It was just right in the middle 🙂



Post # 28
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

hm. Normally I’d be all “gurrrrrlllll heeeellllll naw!”…but for some reason this doesn’t bother me. It just reads as more casual, but that’s fine. And I think it sounds fun! Better than a dry wedding or cash bar, that’s for sure!

Post # 29
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

It’s odd, but I wouldn’t be offended or anything.

Post # 30
7384 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We usually bring our own wine when we go to dinner parties, so hey, I’ll bring a bottle of wine that Fiance and I love so that we’ll have something to drink that we know we’ll like. AND we’ll bring a gift (well, likely, we’ve already sent one).

Post # 31
1075 posts
Bumble bee

@futuremrsstraight:  if it isn’t in “lieu of gift” it def raises an eyebrow…They won’t win wedding of the year but its a celebration of their love so  to each their own… Def nt my style tho for sure


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