(Closed) Anyone else find this tacky?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I wouldn’t be offended. But then again maybe my social circle is less, formal. I think people spend too much time getting offended about stupid crap. People will spend crazy money on gifts, but are offended at being asked to bring a $15 bottle of wine, IF  they want to drink it? Cray-cray. 

Post # 33
Member
2405 posts
Buzzing bee

“Tacky” is too strong a word for how I’d feel about it. It’s less than ideal, but if I were the one invited I’d be happy to bring a bottle of wine — that way I’d know there’d be something I liked (I’m not a huge fan of beer.) I’d still bring a gift.

Post # 34
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t see what the big deal is. It sounds like fun. Plus you can get a bottle of wine for $2 at Fresh and Easy so it’s not like you would have to break the bank, the couple didn’t specify what kind of wine to bring. 

Post # 35
Member
2274 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@futuremrsstraight:  I think it’s fine, if you’re having a completely casual wedding.  Though, I would probably also say “gifts are not necessary”

Post # 36
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think it’s fine, too. Weddings are expensive and people are unusually broke these days. They’re essentially having a backyard wedding, so should be fun.

Post # 37
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

While I wouldn’t have chosen that direction for my wedding, the wedding sounds like it will be more on the casual side. The couple will be providing beer, so no one is “required” to bring wine if they don’t want to. They also didn’t ask anyone to bring crazy expensive bottles either — just whatever you want to drink. 

I could never think of not giving a gift because I’m bring my own beverage. That just seems silly.

Post # 39
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

It probably depends on where you are from.  I’ve never been to a dry wedding before, and I would find that a bit uncomfortable/odd.  I have never been to a wedding where there wasn’t a full bar, actually.  I thought a buffet wedding was odd the first time I went.

But anyway, regarding providing booze, Fiance and I both have the attitude that we keep wine, beer and mixed drinks stocked and when we have people over we make sure we provide drinks.  Yes, I bring bottles of wine when I go over to people’s parties, and they bring to mine, but I wouldn’t really feel comfortable asking people to bring their own bottles even to a small housewarming or something.  To me, that’s what a party is– providing booze for your guests.  I would probably cut back on something else to make sure I have booze for my guests.  If it’s super super casual and super small, I can see tossing that idea out. But to put it on an invite seems weird.  Yes, wine can be cheap, but then that means the couple could buy the cheap wine as well.   

I think I would be offended if the bride had a really expensive dress, or spent a fortune on shoes, or spent a lot of money on decorations, because that means she prioritized those things over making sure her guests had a good time.  But if it’s actually a backyard casual bbq type event, then the whole thing seems non-traditional to me, so i’m not sure it is within what I would expect for a wedding anyway, so I’d go with it.

Post # 40
Member
547 posts
Busy bee

It sounds like fun to me… 

Crazy how it’s only “tacky” if the bride has a sensible budget and doesn’t try to be a Kardashian for the day. Newsflash, most people don’t have money and no one is socially obligated to spend foolishly on their special princess wedding day under the pretense of “providing for their guests.” Like someone else said, up until fairly recently, middle class people had affordable weddings and a lot of this etiquette nonsense was for rich people only.

Post # 41
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

“But please bring a bottle of your favorite wine to share conversations and jokes with.”

Haha that was phrased badly. Picture all the guests laughing hysterically while stroking a wine bottle – “Oh wine, you’re so funny.”

Post # 42
Member
9971 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I do not think it’s appropriate at all to ask your guests to provide anything at the wedding, least of all refreshments. 

Post # 43
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@futuremrsstraight:  i think it’s rude either way. if you’re hosting someone, then host them – however you can. if that means cutting guests/flowers/live band/expensive rings then do it – but don’t plan a wedding you can’t afford and then expect your guests to pick up the slack.

as an alternative for a few hundred dollars (or less!!) the couple could have made their own wine at a wine store and bottled it – wouldn’t that be worth axing 3 plus ones, or a few flowers so that your guests aren’t byob-ing the wedding …i’d say yes.

Post # 44
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think this is extremly rude to post. Its the brides day and its up to her to decid if its tacky. Focus on your own wedding and dont judge hers. 

Post # 45
Member
2175 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@futuremrsstraight:  Hey fine by me, I just remove the cost of the wine from my gift.  Would it make a difference if they registered for wine?  …oh my God, how did I never think of that, is that possible?  Bath towels just dropped to the bottom of a very long registry list composed entirely of wine.

Although if every guest brings a bottle of wine, and they have kegs, they’re either going to wind up with a lot left over or a lot of very drunk people.

 

 

 

Post # 46
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We provided beer and wine.. I told people they were more than welcome to bring something elsr to drink if they wanted.. Guess im tacky? 

@futuremrsstraight:  

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