Post # 1
sigh…some days I am so excited about planning and can’t wait for the big day. Other days (like today)…not so much. My Fiance and I are basically paying for everything and are trying to stick to a 12K budget for about 75 people. Obviously we’d like to invite more people and have NO budget, but we own a home, have bills to pay and like to live in reality!
Anyway, was talking to a coworker today and she is planning a wedding for her daughter. She loves to talk about wedding planning and is not shy about discussing money. She laughs it off that her daughter’s shoes were $700. Today she told me that they’re about 9000 dollars over budget so far. It’s just discouraging to hear that people are having 250+ guest lists, multiple limos, and shoes that cost as much as my dress. All this is not necessarily my style but I am still envious…
Anywone else get discouraged about having a budget/constraints? I KNOW my wedding will be beautiful, fun, my style, and I am marrying the greatest guy in the world. I feel so immature for being “jealous” of these no limit brides.
Post # 3
If I had shoes that cost that much…I think I would be sick. I’m in the same boat as you. I have all these visions in my head of what I want my wedding to look like, but when it comes to actually buying everything (we’re paying for everything ourselves as well) it really begins to stack up. We’re planning on around 150 people, we dont really have a budget, but we’re not stupid enough to spend alot of money on one thing…we know how to shop smart.
Post # 4
We are in the same boat as you. Just remember that it is not the amount of money that is put into the wedding that makes it special. It is the people that you surround yourself with 🙂
Post # 5
My budget is $3500 for 40 people, and at times I have been discouraged about the budget. Now that it’s almost here, I am really stressing about the budget- I’m just hoping I have enough to pay for everything.
Post # 6
It’s just money. Sometimes I think the hands-on brides who have to get really creative due to budget limitations have the coolest weddings ever!
Like the old saying: “It aint’ whatcha do, it’s the way that ya do it!”
Don’t let numbers get you down. A big budget can’t give you a hug, can’t help pick out the right wedding color palette, pick out the perfect cake flavors, and can’t give you creativity. If you have a larger one, fantastic! But what makes a great wedding is not always money-driven. It is the sheer creativity of the bride and all she brings into the wedding to make it a true celebration of love. My grandma always used to tell me that “Money can’t give you good taste. But you can get it for free if you pay attention to things.”
She was right.
Post # 7
I do get a bit depressed about it at times. We don’t have a ton of money and our parents aren’t able to help as much as they’d like. That would be okay if we could get away with a small wedding. But Fiance has a HUGE family and he comes from a culture where big weddings are more than just expected, but almost demanded. Like, people will never forgive us if we don’t invite them. I’m one of those girls who’s been dreaming about her wedding since age twelve, but now that I’m actually planning it and having to worry about money, it’s a lot less fun 🙁 Not that I don’t look forward to it, but it still tugs at my heart when I think of the things I had hoped to have (an awesome historic venue, a photo booth, cute letterpress intvitations) that I’ve had to give up just to be able to provide the basics for 350 people (75 of whom are my guests).
But in the end, I knew that this was the kind of wedding I’d have to have if I were to marry my Fiance, and it is sooooooo worth it.
Post # 8
Ok good, I’m glad I”m not the only one getting discouraged. I am normally not a jealous or envious person. It just gets frustrating to see people throwing money around when I’m trying to save it!
I agree, Bellenga: a lot of my special touches aren’t expensive, but they ARE creative and personal. I just couldn’t believe how shocked my coworker was when I told her we were doing open bar the whole time for “just” beer, wine, champagne, no cocktails. I felt like such a tightwad!
Post # 9
I know what you mean. We have a similar budget, are paying for much of it ourselves (as we have, you know, real life costs…), and are working our butts off to plan it! My best friend just had a $45K wedding last month. We went through the whole planning stages together and it’s really hard not to compare.
By The Way: We’re doing beer and wine only as well – no champagne even! But we’re at a winery so we’re basically not allowed by law to have anything other than beer & wine anyway! (We got off easy in that respect; we wouldn’t have been able to afford an open bar with liquor anyway!)
Post # 10
We’re just doing beer/wine/champagne too. And part of that is we don’t want the wedding to turn into a drunken mess. So in a way, it’s even classier. Right? That’s what I tell myself…
Post # 11
Even if I had unlimited money, I would want to operate under a budget. It is so easy for weddings to get out of control, and I wouldn’t feel right about spending a ridiculous amount of money on my wedding. Granted, “a ridiculous amount of money” means very different things for different people, but for me, I want to keep myself in check, and a budget helps me do that.
All of that being said, I don’t have unlimited money, and yes, its hard sometimes to make decisions on how best to spend it. I guess its just a matter of determining whats most important.
Post # 12
I’m not even engaged yet and it freaks me out!! We’re talking about rings and things so frequently now that I’m doing research already just to see what’s out there that we can afford when it does happen…people think I’m nuts but I just want to be prepared…
Post # 13
@farmersdaughter is right… EVERYONE should be operating under a budget. That budget may vary from person to person but I think it’s crazy and irresponsible to not have a budget in place and stick to it. My parents gave us a very generous budget in the 10’s of thousands of dollars… but that doesn’t mean we just spent with reckless abandon. We broke our budget down into sections and we did not go over AT ALL.
Post # 14
Don’t forget the ultimate lesson from the recent recession. Just because people are spending money doesn’t mean they HAVE that money.
If you REALLY want to feel better- check out the book The Millionaire Next Door. It talks about how people who don’t live ostentatiously are really some of the wealthiest people.
Post # 15
I so know where you are coming from! I am DIYing a TON just to save on costs. The FI’s sister’s wedding was $30k and she always tells me “Oh don’t make that, just buy it!” Yeah, if I had $1000 to spend on centerpieces instead of $100 I would gladly just buy everything!
Post # 16
Like you, we are trying to do our wedding for about 12K, and we will have about 200 people. I know my wedding will be beautiful and I’m so excited about some of the creative stuff I have come up with. But some days, I just wish I didn’t have to worry about how much cost. Like I wish I didn’t have to wait until next week to buy my cutting mat’s replacement rubber piece, because thats when my Michaels coupon is valid….It’s hard not to get down sometimes, but it will be beautiful 🙂