(Closed) Anyone else get less than positive reactions to their engagement from friends?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

🙁 I’m sorry you got some not-so-exhuberant reactions!


But…CONGRATULATIONS 🙂 !! Very exciting! (I’m still waiting…can ya tell?!?)

Post # 4
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Rude! Re: the first comment, why do people feel the need to comment at all? Obviously you know the statistics as much as she does, and you made your decision. You’re not am idiot. Ugh that annoys me.

Post # 5
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My best friend has been less than thrilled about my upcoming wedding.  My Fiance works in an office with her, as does his ex-wife’s best friend.  Now mind you, FI’s ex-wife had an affair with HER cousin, but the gossip around the office was all bad about him.  And my best friend believes the gossip over me.  (Mind you…there office employs hundreds of people, and she doesn’t work directly with Fiance, so she hasn’t had any bad experiences with him herself.)

We are having a courthouse wedding and a reception afterward.  I thought about not inviting her, but since other people from the office will be there, I changed my mind.  I don’t know if she’ll come.

Post # 6
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When I got engaged my mom wasnt to thrilled and some ppl from her church made comments. Why? Hell if I know. Well my mom got over it but a “friend” of the family txted me that my relationship wasnt from God. HUH REALLY??? ARE YOU GOD HIMSELF??? I didnt invite her to my wedding and it hurt my mom more than me but you know what I celebrated my wedding with those that did care and if they dont give a rat’s ass about your happiness then let them know and move on

Post # 7
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I dont like the comment about weddings like yours end in divorce.. It doesnt matter how long you have known eachother for or have been dating for.. I wouldnt be happy hearing that from a friend. 

Congrats on your engagement! 

Post # 8
340 posts
Helper bee

They are jealous. I am so sorry you have to deal with people less than exciting for you. I have learned in the last few months who are the true friends and who aren’t. The ones that are exciting for you when you are excited are the true friends. Also, just because you have dated 7 months doesn’t mean that you will divorce it means that you found something so amazing with each other than you can’t wait to start a permanent life together. Don’t listen to her, just keep her informed of your plans and spend more time with your true friends.

Post # 9
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

How rude! How old are you? I only ask because I think it makes a difference in how people view engagements after a short time.  Just enjoy your engagement and let the haters hate – clearly they aren’t very good friends to begin with!

Post # 10
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ricangen81:  Oh no she didn’t…  Stuff like that just infuriates me to no effing end.

I had a few similar issues when I told people I was moving to another state to be with SO.  A few seemed like it was too fast (we’d known each other as aquaintances for 6 years at the time, together 4 months) and talked about being “concerned that I was moving too quick”.  I was bothered by the comments, but I knew what felt right.  I didn’t want to wait years to be with him every day.

Post # 11
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

these people are not your friends.  Don’t worry about what they think.

Post # 12
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Here’s a gem for  you:

Me: Mom, we’ve decided to get married!

Her: (long silence) Well, congratulations I guess. (more silence) I mean, it’s not like it’s a big surprise, you bought a house together last year.  But yes, great news!

Or here’s another:

Me: Beloved Aunt, we’ve decided to get married!

Her: Oh, that’s amazing CCG! But you’re going to keep it really low key, right? Because it is his second marriage.

Me: (long silence) Yes…….but it’s OUR first marriage.


Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and they love me (and him too).  Sometimes you just have to not let it phase you….



Post # 13
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Glittergirl_2013:  Jealousy and insecurity can rear it’s head when wedding planning. I saw it in my own wedding. It can come in the form of mocking, being overly critical and rude, or just being plain mean.

My Darling Husband and I were together for four months before we decided to get married. We did the ‘courtship” route ala the Duggar family vs tradition dating. We have been happily married 11 months. I know my former teacher married her husband after 3 weeks and they’ve been married 20 years!

As long as you two feel it’s right and you do premaritial couseling, go for it.

That being said, they sound jealous. Ignore them and enjoy your future Darling Husband. Plan your wedding, send them invites ifyou want to, and concentrate on the good.

Post # 14
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No. All of my friends were expecting it from us and very happy for us.

You have only known each other for six months, so I’m sorry to say that negative reactions should be anticipated from loved ones. They react negatively only because they care (although some could have done it without the very rude comments.) The two of you will just have to do your best to ensure your loved ones that you have thought it through and are very serious about spending the rest of your lives together. They will come around by the wedding I’m sure 🙂

Post # 15
96 posts
Worker bee

I know it’s extremely hurtful for these kinds of things to happen. I’ve noticed some women react really jealously when they find out about an engagement. I had two friends do that to me. Some women are just in a lot of pain emotionally when they see other people living out their dreams.

Some people in my family really didn’t like the guy I got engaged to either, and they reacted negatively because of that. I think it all depends upon the situation.

I wish you the best.

Post # 16
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Glittergirl_2013:  I’m really sorry. Congrats to you though!


I can say that I have had the same experience. Never did I think such a happy time would bring out so many negative responses! I’ve actually lost a few friends because of all the negativity. I couldn’t not deal with it anymore. My Fiance is going through the same thing too.  I thought guys would be different.  Together we have had 3 drop out of our wedding party, so we had to replace them kind of last minute. It really sucks and I feel for anyone who has to go through that with friends…

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