Post # 31
(((hugs))) Nothing we could say here will take away the grief and it sounds like you have a good support system so just take it one day at a time. It will eventually get easier.
As to feeling old, Im getting married in July and turn 35 in August. I also really dont care about the wedding stuff. it feels shallow to me too.
Fiance and I scaled it back to just a family only wedding at a lake near our house. We are taking everyone to dinner after and hired a nice photographer so we have good photos.
He finds it a little odd that I dont care (about the dress, where we eat, etc). Ive had to tell him more than once that i dont care about that stuff because what I really care about is HIM and our life together.
Its ok not to be the stereotypical bride. Be you, do what makes you feel good for your special day. If chasing down centerpieces and choosing color schemes isnt something you want to manage – either hire it out to someone or consider scaling back your wedding. Its just a party… its really not that big of a deal. I know people act like it is, but your feelings are totally legit.
Post # 32
I love the idea of carving out alone time on my wedding day! It seems so simple, but I had honestly never considered that. I’m so glad you shared that. loz24 :
Post # 33
I’m sorry for your losses. One thing I’ve been learning during these last few months is that I’m hardly alone. I feel like I’m surrounded by people with hard stories that I didn’t know about before. It almost is like being in a hard, sad club. yogolowgo :
Post # 34
I think the grief is making you feel like nothing matters. I’m a little younger than you and I recently lost my father in a tragic, sudden way, right after my wedding. It’s been 6 months but for the first 3-4 months, I really felt like nothing mattered, I didn’t care about anything, if I was planning aweddding then it would have been so difficult. Especially since your mom might otherwise have been involved in planning, dress shopping, etc. Do you have a friend who can help you choose flowers and the mundane things you don’t care about right now? I was also not the stereotypical bride, I really didn’t care too much about flowers and I just chose all white roses to keep things simple.
As for your age. There are so many 33 year old bride out there buying dresses. You are not old! A lot of the 30 year old brides I know just have a mellow bachelorette weekend or evening with a few girlfriends. There’s no rule that says you have to do an all out crazy wild party. I actually didn’t do anything for my bachelorette party, and I wasn’t even grieving yet.
I cant really give good advice about the grieving process. For me it’s been all encompassing, I think about my father and his death all the time. But somehow, it does get a little easier as time goes by. I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through.
Post # 35
I just turned 30 and I don’t really feel old… but when I think about how I’ll be at least 31 when I get married and my Boyfriend or Best Friend will be pushing 40, I feel a little old/weird about some some wedding thing
Post # 36
I’m sorry about your father. It does get easier slowly. caligirlinmichigan :