Post # 1
I’m having a destination wedding in Mexico but still want it to be personal and reflect some of our personal style. I’m doing lots of DIY and spend a lot of time wedding planning. Not one person has offered to help with anything (with the exception of FI) and I get the impression they think it’s stupid that I’m making a bunch of stuff and taking the time to bring it all the way to Mexico when I don’t “have” to. Just because it’s a destination wedding doesn’t make it any less special than if I was to do it here! I enjoy wedding planning but somedays when I get stressed the reaction I seem to get is “well you are choosing to do all of this, you don’t have to” and I seem to get no support.
Anyone else feeling like this?
Post # 3
I think most people assume that you’ll ask for help if you want it or need it. Otherwise, they feel that you’ve taken on these projects because you enjoy doing them and can handle it yourself.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think people say “you don’t have to” no matter where your wedding is. If you need help, ask for it- don’t wait for people to offer.
Post # 5
@MadameTussaud: It’s not even that they need to physically help me make anything. I do enjoy that stuff. What bothers me is that they think it’s stupid and unnecessary. When you work really hard on something, it’s not really the reaction you look for.
Post # 6
I had the same thing when I planned my wedding as well. I only had help from my FI at the time. Do what you want because I brough t a bunch of stuff in the ” Wedding suitecase ” and it made the wedding that much better, gives it a bit of your personal touch.
Post # 7
Will you be able to fly on the plane with all of it?
Post # 8
@sienna76: Yeah I should be able to. It’ll be close though!
Post # 9
@Olive27: What bothers me is that they think it’s stupid and unnecessary.
Unhonestly unless you are planning a wedding the average person will think it is stupid and uncessary especially if it seems to be stressing you out. I can kind of see where they are coming from- for a lot of people it is hassle enough to DIY for a local wedding so packing it all up and carting it to an international destination would to a lot of people be a lot more hassle than it is worth.
If you are happy to do it then that is the end of the discussion.
Post # 10
I’m getting a similar reaction… I think some of my DIY stuff is probably unnecessary, but I still want the day to be so special! I’ve found just sharing that interest (I’m so excited, so grateful and I really want to do anything i can to make this day special for me, FI and our guests) puts a stop to the judgement… everybody can relate to wanting your wedding to be special!
Post # 11
No one has offered to work on my DIY projects. I wouldn’t expect them to, they’re things I’m choosing to do. I’d ask if I needed help.
If the lack of offers to help are the only reason you think they are judging your DIY choices, I wouldn’t worry about it a single second longer. Are they making comments that make you feel judged?
Also, some people just aren’t crafty and don’t find enjoyment in it. So they wouldn’t be able to relate to the choice. It’s just like some people hire having their house painted, some people love painting themsleves. Some people buy off-the-rack clothes, some love sewing their own clothes. Do what makes you happy and don’t worry about anyone else.