Post # 1
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
My fiance and I, have of course, had a sexual relationship for a while now. We’ve been together over four years. But I’ve been thinking lately that I may want to be celibate with him until the wedding… just to make things more passionate I suppose.
I would have loved for he and I to both be virgins when we met, but that just isn’t realistic lol…
I am thinking that I will try my best to present my case to him. We live together, and I will have to be very clever about when I take my showers HAHA
I think another reason why I wanted this, was because of the fact that so many people have said that they were too tired to make love on their wedding night… and for me that is just unacceptable!… I’ve gone 11 months without lovin’ when my fiance was in IRAQ, and let me tell you–in that situation one learns to find the energy LOL
Well–what do you ladies think? Are anymore of you gonna at least attempt this at all? Our wedding is July 15 2011 (about 7 months), so I figure starting the celibacy thing on the first of the year will be less painful.
P.S.
KUDOS to all of you who have waited until marriage! Congrats!
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
lol I was watching my DVR episodes of Oprah last night with the one with the nuns on it and how they don’t have sex. I turned to Fiance and said we shouldn’t have sex until our wedding night and I swear his head was about to explode. We are kind of far out, so maybe we will try at the 6 month mark?
*I voted for yes because I want to unleash the dragon! mwhahaha!*
Post # 4
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
Unless someone is saving it for marriage, this seems pretty contrived to me. Not to mention, there’s enough stress leading up to the wedding – no way would I want to add to it!
Post # 5
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
Ya, none of that for us. 3 years of long-distance relationship, thats enough celibacy for a life-time so no, we are done with that silliness.
Post # 6
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Yeah not that important for me to stop before the wedding or having sex the night of the wedding either. I didn’t really see how the day of the wedding is so special for sex. As for virgins, I think they should possibly not even have sex on the wedding night because the first time is better if you aren’t rushing and have time to prepare and lead up to it.
Post # 7
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
I like the idea, but I think I’d need to stick to a more realistic goal. Maybe we’ll stop at the one month mark. I think I could handle that. 😉
Post # 8
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
@Snowy414: I wouldn’t call it “silliness”
I figure beyond the “Dragon Unleashing” that it makes room for a more intimate relationship beyond SEX— I think that making room to learn to love each other past what physically satisfies you during the days leading up to your marriage can be just as much as an experience, as somene fasting for religious reasons
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy:
And I also personally don’t see how having sex after the wedding can be so troublesome. I understand how some can feel as if there are too tired, but I’ve found the will in the most ridiculous of circumstances. I think that for virgins, if its in the case of being nervous–then yes–maybe one should wait when there isn’t so much pressure.
I really can’t see how sex can be rushed after all the hooplah is finally over… I think if its that much of an issue, the I’ll be sure to leave room for dessert at the end of the night 🙂
Post # 9
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
@Miss Tattoo: I tried to get him to do it a couple of years ago, and well
lets just say we got an “A” for effort!
Post # 10
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
I would not have the willpower–no way no how. One of my friends did, though, for a couple months before the wedding, and she claims the wedding night was the best ever.
Post # 11
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
@lwilliams107 just to clairify, I didn’t mean the idea of celibacy before the wedding as silly. I meant our situation of being apart for 3 years as silly.
Post # 12
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Um, we decided not to have sex for 13 months before the wedding. We were long distance and he was deployed for 8 of those months and i just got it into my head that it was a good idea (thanks WB). I don’t know why I did it–it seems so pointless looking back and I don’t see how it really changed the wedding night! But wow–i was freakin tired as hell. I’ve never been so exhausted in all my life, yet we made it happen. I think i idealized it in my head basically
Post # 13
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
Well my Fiance and I have been waiting until our wedding night to have sex. It’s more for religious reasons than “releasing the dragon” (however that’s DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY a perk and the dragon WILL be released) Anyhoo, it’s been since April of 2010 and we’re getting married in February. He was a virgin when we met (in High School) and I’m the only woman he’s been with six years later (overshare?)… I kinda regret deflowering him… Can you “deflower” a man… Ehhh well, I did :/
Anyway, it’ll be AWESOME and totally possible (yet hard seeing as though you cohabitate) go for it!
Post # 14
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: May 2011 - Trinity Lutheran Church & Idlewild Country Club
I really don’t understand people who choose celibacy before their wedding. This isn’t meant to be rude at all, I mean I literally don’t understand it. I mean, if you’ve all ready had sex, is not doing it for a few months going to make a difference? Like, why would your wedding night be any different from any other night that you do it?
Granted, I’m a virgin so I’m pretty sure that’s why I don’t get it ;-).
I guess what confuses me is that like I know some people will be choose celibacy for a month beforehand, 2 weeks, or even six months. Is it basically just an anticipation thing? Like, you want your night to be special because it’s your wedding night, so you want to look forward to it more?
Post # 15
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
We didn’t even consider waiting and our wedding night was still amazing.
Post # 16
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
YES! :'( and it’s killing us. I feel so tempted sometimes but i think twice.
As for him if i don’t say stop or your going to far he would not stop ! grr
Thats physical attraction for ya ! 🙂
