I grew up with my mom depressed my entire life. I never witnessed it until I was about 12 or 13 yrs old because it’d mainly been under control with medication/therapy.
Here’s a timeline of what I’ve been told/know and what I can remember as of age 12_+
birth-6 months: I think my birth spurred my mom’s post partum. At about age 6 months old my mom went in hospital for depression and/or stayed w/ my grandparents/her parents 8 hrs away. I stayed with a family friend for 6 weeks. I’m youngest of 5…two other siblings who were 4 years old stayed with other family friend. My oldest brothers were 10 and 11 yrs old and stayed with my dad and were in day camp
Think she was in hospital inpatient mental including a specific “crazy” severe mental health only hospital at one point….
age 7 years old – family did group therapy but I was young so I just played with dollshouse during their weekly session
age 10-13: mom has numerous health problems such as ovarian cancer (size of volleyball, surivived) as well as gall bladder, pancreas, etc issues..in and out of hospital
age 13 – mom spurs into depression. I recall my sister who was 17 years old coming and finding me out playing with friends and telling me I needed to stay home with my mom becaue she wanted to kill herself. I didn’t get it and didn’t go…..That summer she was in hospital mental health floor. Dr suggested electric shock therapy. We as a family had to agree on it and we did…so she had it but lost some good memories
Age 14-21 in and out of hospital for depressions, taking too many pills for various medical/health conditions. At age 19 I had an embarrassing moment where I had a new boyfriend over and my mom was literally off the wall..very scary.
She had various suidice attempts over the years…..She died when I was 21 due to respiratory illness. She had so many illnesses I can’t even keep track….
Somehow I have not spiraled into this….when I was 16 my mom took me to a pyschiatrist because we did not get along (what teen and their mom don’t have their moments?). He wanted to put me on medication and I refused. I didn’t see need and looking back I saw my mom on medicine after medicine and they stopped working or it took 6-8 weeks to figure out not right medicine….
After she died I went to counselor at my univesrity (she died my senior year of college) but the stigma of it kept me from going back…..Until I dated a terrible guy and was so stressed with work and family/sister about 8 years ago. I’ve been going to this guy conselor off and on as needed and it helps to have someone to talk to. First guy I’ve spoke to as a counselor and I think I like a man’s perspective vs a woman
So..my older sister has spiraled into my mom but much, much worse. She has had depressions since she was 16 or 17 and has had her momemnts but medication and therapy helped her. After her 1st child, she spiraled down, then almost 2 years later had a terrible divorce. She now has a terrible health issue which affects depressions. She’s addicted to pills. Has had a few suicie attempts incluing one w/ her 3 month old son….so that was an ordeal with DCFS. She was/is driinking but basically refuses help. She wants to talk/cry about it but won’t make motions to get better saying thigngs don’t work/she doesn’t have money (remarried but they’re terrible with money. She and him have always been bad with it, even before they knew each other).
Anyway, if you need help, don’t put it off. Talk with someone, it might take a few tries to find the right person. But it’s helped me as well as exercise. I try not to take any medicine as I see the effects of it on my sister and what happened to my mom (as well as my brother also having some pain pill addictions). It clearly runs in the family so I do my best to take proactive steps to be cautious and take measures that equivalent as medicine (i.e. exercise, eating/avoiding certain foods, having someone to talk to).
Anyway, sorry so long but that’s my dealing with depression…it’s very hard. Our whole family, especially my dad struggle with my sister. He has already been through it with my mom and he’s older. He was her caretaker while working, raising kids and worked 2.5 hours away for 10 years.